To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

[Blackcelebration73]

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

To be honest I never understand why people go ape over the use of classic diminutives of certain names. Don’t use those names if you don’t like the shorter version we thought about this when name choosing and made sure we chose names that were great short or long. Not rocket science!

My 'proper ' name is longer than the shortened slightly different name that I go by , I've been called my nick name since I was born and used to not always realise when people were using my proper name that they were indeed talking to or about me
Now I'm much better at interchanging them as I need to use my proper name on documents

I don’t think you can police this. And it is largely done affectionately.

My parents died yonks ago, and I still really miss that no-one calls me by the mangled version of my name that my Dad used. These days I’m just ‘proper’ name to everyone, and it makes me a bit sad tbh

I would just relax about and leave it to DD when she is old enough to make her opinion known. It’s her name after all, not your’s.

I picked a name without an obvious diminutive to avoid this, you've picked one that is commonly shortened , I don't think you can stop it.

Yanbu but her mates will, more than likely, call her Meg at some point.

Having said this, I do do this with a family where, both adults, have easily shortened names and they use the long version talking to each other. I try and try not to do it, but every now and again.... 😶

I have a pretty long name and most people call me by the shortened version except DH which is nice. However, I see it as a term of endearment. I only shorten names when I like the person a lot. You really should taken it as a compliment. Except a few times in my life when they had shortened names and I called them by their full name but that was because I truly liked them too.

thegreylady I’m also a Joanna. People regularly call me “Joanne” and this really bothers me because it is a completely different name. I am not “of course” a Jo: when people take the liberty of shortening my name that way, I always correct them. Neither of these “versions” is my actual name.

For the many, many posters saying that name shortening is a “sign endearment”, that is an assumption you have made. It really depends on how the person in question feels about the shortening of their name. I personally do not think it is endearing: I think it shows laziness and a lack of attention to detail. A person’s name is one of the most important pieces of information about them. Take time to listen to what they themselves wish to be called and follow that.

FWIW, in my experience, many English people constitutionally incapable of saying a name longer than a syllable. It’s not so much of a problem where I am from in Northern Ireland.

Although I have no issue with a diminutive, I do think it's a bit weird that there are so many people swanning about changing people's names on first meeting them.

Imagine: "can I introduce you to my friend Robert?"
"Nice to meetcha Bobby!"

Odd.

I've also been reminded of a couple I know - Roz and Jim, who insist all of their children are called by their full names (despite having obvious diminutives) but don't respond to James and Rosamund.

I know a mother who gave all three sons one syllable names so they couldn't be shortened. Not of of those men are known by those names now. One, Paul, is commonly referred to as Fish. I think you need to chill out.

This is one of my massive pet hates! Unless I have introduced my name as a shorter version then use my full name!

I like my name and you do not have permission to shorten it!

If your DD grows up and doesn’t mind that’s down to her but right now her name is Megan and unless she has introduced herself as anything else to anyone they shouldn’t be shortening it!

I am with you on this- I once called rage against the answering machine on Radio one about spelling and shortening names 😂

Ha this made me laugh! I do see where you are coming from though!!!

People always shorten my name or use different varients but it doesn’t both me!

People are trying to be friendly and warm. Try to appreciate the intention. Your child is a person and other people will have their own relationships with her, more and more as she grows. She is not your property, I'm afraid. Two of my kids have names they are known by outside the house that we never use at home. Don't sweat the small stuff.

My son’s name is John. I find that his teachers often call him Jonathan which really irritates me because it’s a completely different name. I corrected someone on this the other day and she looked at me as I imagine people look at the OP

But honestly, how hard is it to get the name John right? It’s not exactly uncommon.

My daughter's got a name that you couldn't even imagine how to shorten, but my in-laws still managed to invent a shortened version.

My dd1 has a single-syllable name that doesn't have a diminutive and really can't be shortened or lengthened in any way.

She currently answers to either Sausage or Chuchie-face.

I agree with that SayNoToCarrots, that has been my exact experience with some people I barely know.

When posters are saying it’s an affectionate thing to do etc, my experience has often been with people who I’ve only just met or who aren’t particularly nice to me anyway and who shorten my name to not give me the respect of using my actual name. People shortening my name to be affectionate or friendly are in the minority in my experience.

Having someone introduced as Kathryn to you and you responding “Hi Katie!” is just downright rude and disrespectful. Not friendly. Not a bit of fun. Not your right to decide what someone else is called.

Teachers and staff giving nicknames to children off their own backs is also really unprofessional and I say this as a teacher myself. There’s a power imbalance with little children and authority figures and they often can’t say “I don’t like being called MeggyMoo, please call me Megan.”

And so we begin a lifetime of having to put up with other people enforcing their idea of what our name should be onto us. Those of us that object because we genuinely cannot stand the nickname we are being saddled with are accused of being uptight or rude or frilly because we just want to be called by our fucking name!

If you are one of these people who for whatever reason decide it’s up to you to call people whatever the hell you like, would you consider at least having the manners to say “Ashley, do you mind if I call you Ash?”, then at least the other person has the option of politely declining rather than having to endure a nickname you don’t like.

I called my son Rory. No obvious diminutive. He got Roar and Rozzer once he began playing sport. Once even got Albert when he had a team mate with a similar name. I just accepted it. Pointless to do otherwise unless he objects too. Had he been a girl I liked Phillipa but as I hated Pip and Pippa decided not to use it. An adult friend of mine wouldn’t allow anyone to shorten his name. That’s the key. Unless the person themselves insists on their full name it’s not going to happen. As a teacher I never shorten names without checking that the parents do too and don’t object.

This is why I chose a name for my son that couldn't be shortened. So you have my sympathy. And I have friends with children called eg Thomas that never call them Tom or Tommy - you are not alone.

You can't stop them though.

If you’re irritated by this you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling irritated.

This is it in a nutshell. It’s something that a lot of people do, like it or not. It’s the same with people calling you “dear” or “love”. If they don’t mean any harm or offence by it then I wouldn’t seek to take it (although I do agree it’s polite to call someone by the name by which they introduce themselves to you or refer to themselves).

My sons called Daniel we call him daniel at home, if I talk about him to school it’s Daniel yet since he was in nursery people have shortened it to dan and I hate it yet my eldest is Joseph we shorten to joe and my daughter Shannon is shortened to shan it’s just the shortening of Daniel I hate 😂

Why on earth would you name your kid Daniel if you hate the name Dan?

My friend picked names for her sons that wouldn't be shortened, Ian and Paul.
Their mares call them Paz and E.

I have two friends called Danielle- one of them was introduced to me as Danni, I called her Danni for years then she said she actually doesn’t like it and prefers Danielle so I started calling her Danielle.

My other Danielle friend absolutely detests being called Danni so she is always known as Danni.

I don’t see how the concept of someone not being allowed to say how they prefer their name pronounced is up for discussion!

It’s personal choice you can’t dictate being able to shorten or change someone’s name.

Other friend hates Danielle not Danni!!!

I think you are NBU
My DD is Libby - plain and simple
My sister thinks she should be called Liberty and calls her "Liberty-Belle"
Other people call her "Lib" or "Libs"
Now she's older she doesn't mind - but she used to feel like people didn't know her 'proper name'
There's no way of stopping this though - people just do it and you can't waste time feeling upset. It's endearment at the end of the day and it's never meant to deliberately upset you or your child.