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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU “you can’t block a room off to kids”?

175 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 10/02/2019 11:21

Was at MIL’s yesterday and she has just had a new carpet fitted. SIL and BIL were also over and brought their three boys with them who were playing with colouring pens and some paint crayon thingies that they’d brought with them so MIL said she would close the living room door and block it off to the kids.
SIL found this very funny and said she couldn’t block a room off to kids unless she was going to lock it as they would just go in there anyway.
MIL asked the boys nicely to stay out of the living room with the pens and paints and they seemed quite happy to, but SIL kept cutting over and saying honestly you can’t stop them, they’ll forget in a minute and just wander in there you’ll have to get a lock.

Boys are 9,8 and 6.

AIBU to think you absolutely can block off a room if you choose and that the parents should take responsibility for stopping them going in there?

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 10/02/2019 11:23

Of course you can. And given the ages of the kids they should do as they're told about where they can and cannot go too

SimplyPut · 10/02/2019 11:24

Your SIL is being ridiculous.

ceeveebee · 10/02/2019 11:24

Definitely should be able to be told at that age!

RhiWrites · 10/02/2019 11:25

You can block a room off to anyone. A lock is for people who don’t understand requests. I use them for toddlers and the terminally rude.

TeddyIsaHe · 10/02/2019 11:25

Of course you can! It’s not hard to say “please don’t go in that room kids” and then enforce it if they try to. Entitled parents rrrrreeally annoy me.

MarthasGinYard · 10/02/2019 11:25

SIL is a CF

Kingofthenorth · 10/02/2019 11:26

Of course you can.

She sounds like she can't be arsed to parent them if they did forget and try to go in the room.

It's not a big ask is it.

CalmdownJanet · 10/02/2019 11:28

Of course you can, your sil is being completely unreasonable. But I think she was completely unreasonable to bring paints with her to someone else's house anyway, especially a house with no children

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 10/02/2019 11:28

My dgs is banned from my front room after repeatedly trying to smash the windows.
Ds wouldn't deal with it so I did.

Mil's house, her rules.
I would ban paint and pens also!

Pinkprincess1978 · 10/02/2019 11:30

Your sil is a cf and a lazy parent imo. Kids of any age can be told and likely remember not to go into a room.

My great gran had a formal living room that in my whole life I never went in (I was about 10 when she died) I only ever saw a part of the room from the open door. When we visited though nobody else used it either which probably helped.

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld · 10/02/2019 11:36

Your SIL is a twat. Is she MIL's last 'baby' by any chance?

FrancisCrawford · 10/02/2019 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fibonaccisequins · 10/02/2019 11:38

Of course you can! Sounds like SIL can't be arsed to parent her children, who, by the sounds of things, fully understand what MIL said. The 6 year old may need reminding now and then, but the older children will be fine. Sounds like the SIL was making a point of some sort perhaps? I'd be irritated, as MIL, if she kept talking over me, and undermining my authority, in my house.

TeenTimesTwo · 10/02/2019 11:38

Of course you can.

We have 2 rooms in the house that are off limits to our DCs due to expensive / dangerous items being in there. When they were very young we did use locks, but by that age we weren't bothering anymore.

We also from the start said colouring/painting at the dining-room table only.

ChakiraChakra · 10/02/2019 11:39

SIL is defo being a CF. Of course her parents wouldn't want their naice new carpet stained by crayons and paints.

Jaxhog · 10/02/2019 11:39

You can block a room off to anyone. A lock is for people who don’t understand requests. I use them for toddlers and the terminally rude.

Of course you can. Your SiL is being totally unreasonable. Does she really want her kids to go in there and ruin her DM's room?

Booboostwo · 10/02/2019 11:40

My 4yo understands not to go into a room he is not allowed to go into. It’s by no means an unreasonable request. At that age the DCs should also understand that crayons can only be used at the table in one room.

RupaulsGagRace · 10/02/2019 11:41

Your sil is a tit

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 10/02/2019 11:41

I have a very strong willed 6 year old and an energetic 4 year old and both would be fine with this. If it was a room full of explosives or angry pit bulls then yes I think you need to lock it in case the kids forget but if it's just the case of not being allowed in there for a day trip you just tell the kids and remind if necessary.

TrixieFranklin · 10/02/2019 11:41

You absolutely can. I have 2 boys who are nearly 3 and they definitely understand if told by me or another family member they aren't to go into a room. They'll be inquisitive about it and it'll make them want to peek, but they know not to go in..

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 10/02/2019 11:41

Of course you can. You just close the door and tell them they can’t go in. Job done. Even with very small children. Sounds like they had plenty to distract them anyway.

That said my son who has autism has to do a tour of anywhere new he visits, whether it’s a new house, train station (we just sit and identify the points of interest for that). He would literally open the door and look in and then close the door afterwards, no damage done.

gamerwidow · 10/02/2019 11:42

Of course you can block a room off. What does she think they do at school with staff rooms and toilets? Keep them locked at all times in case a child wanders in?
It’s hard with a toddler but at 6 and older children are well able to understand if they’re not allowed in somewhere.

LuYu · 10/02/2019 11:42

Your SIL is being unreasonable. I'd only worry that a closed door and a 'please don't go in there' would be insufficient if there was something immediately and extremely dangerous in the room. Under normal circumstances, though, it should be fine.

pancakeBlanket · 10/02/2019 11:43

If she really thought that she should have taken the pens etc off the kids.

gamerwidow · 10/02/2019 11:43

Also if I thought my child was really unable to comply with this by themselves I would watch them like a hawk and make sure they stated out.

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