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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU “you can’t block a room off to kids”?

175 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 10/02/2019 11:21

Was at MIL’s yesterday and she has just had a new carpet fitted. SIL and BIL were also over and brought their three boys with them who were playing with colouring pens and some paint crayon thingies that they’d brought with them so MIL said she would close the living room door and block it off to the kids.
SIL found this very funny and said she couldn’t block a room off to kids unless she was going to lock it as they would just go in there anyway.
MIL asked the boys nicely to stay out of the living room with the pens and paints and they seemed quite happy to, but SIL kept cutting over and saying honestly you can’t stop them, they’ll forget in a minute and just wander in there you’ll have to get a lock.

Boys are 9,8 and 6.

AIBU to think you absolutely can block off a room if you choose and that the parents should take responsibility for stopping them going in there?

OP posts:
AngelaStorm73 · 10/02/2019 20:39

@thebellsofsaintclements

Oh dear!
No mine are definitely little terrors they have a habit of getting foot and hand prints all over the walls, food everywhere, flushing things down the toilet/putting them in the washing machine etc. I just try and limit the damage these days. I don't think my toddler knows he can open my bedroom door. It's my secret... Blush

masterandmargarita · 10/02/2019 21:02

I live in a lovely house which I want all the family to enjoy. No special rooms - they're all nice.

thebellsofsaintclements · 10/02/2019 21:30

Angela Grin

GummyGoddess · 10/02/2019 21:38

Do you think SIL doesn't do messy stuff at her house and just brings it to others?

NaturalBornWoman · 10/02/2019 22:09

I live in a lovely house which I want all the family to enjoy. No special rooms - they're all nice.

That's lovely but does that mean they are allowed messy play and paint sticks in all your nice rooms? Or are all your rooms nice because you have some sensible rules?

EllenMP · 11/02/2019 17:30

"Colouring in the kitchen only, please. Can't wait to come in and see what you've made!"

bubblegumunicorn · 11/02/2019 17:45

Yes you can I’ve been in plenty of houses with adult only living rooms and areas we played in the kitchen or the family room! If it’s a new rule it might be hard for them to understand but they should listen to the adults and respect what they say and not
Go in to a room if it’s adult only 🤷‍♀️

CoraPirbright · 11/02/2019 17:51

Goodness your poor MIL - is your SIL usually this much of a towering arsehole?

Lweji · 11/02/2019 17:52

I think both have a point.

At MIL's house, it's an occasional visit, for a few hours, it's easy to keep the kids out. Or kids with pens and paints.

In their own home I think it's more difficult, as they'll just follow their parents naturally and are likely to forget at some point that they can't take X or Y to a room. I agree that if you wanted to have a room completely child free then you'd need to lock it. So, SIL is right regarding her own home.

Presumably she didn't know about the new carpet. And MIL might as well forget about keeping a pristine carpet if she wants to have children around much.

Littlenic73 · 11/02/2019 17:56

Of course you can block a room off or have rules about what happens in different rooms. Out family have rules about shoes in the house and food and drink in certain rooms, eg no drinks in the office next o the computer, but we explain why, ie. So we don't spill them and damage the computer. No foods, paint or making slime anywhere with carpets. My parents have similar rules and my kids are told them and know the consequences. Your house, your rules. They might find themselves less welcome in future if they didn't follow them.

Bignosenobum · 11/02/2019 18:05

Why should people inflict their horrible kids on others? If anyone brought paints around to my house and three kids, they would be kicked out. How ill mannered are the parents. Inflicting their brats mess on others. SIL who laughed might find it less amusing if a "little dear" wrecked her new carpet with paints and pens.

Fowles94 · 11/02/2019 18:06

We live in an apartment and niece and nephew from 3 and 4 have known not to enter bedrooms.

Bignosenobum · 11/02/2019 18:07

The world is going to pot. Kids have taken over the world and they are called Tarquin, Montgomery and are allowed to run riot.

kitkatsky · 11/02/2019 18:11

Your SIL is batshit. They're old enough to be given instructions and a consequence for not following them.

Gth1234 · 11/02/2019 18:14

When I were a lad, no body, but no body went in the parlour!

KrazyKatlady · 11/02/2019 18:25

we have a toilet that nobody uses!! When we moved in it was really old and horrible and I didn't like using it! Now it is decorated and perfectly fine to use but have just got out of the habit.

Mumofboys95 · 11/02/2019 18:35

I have a similar SIL she lets her kids run riot everywhere. Dread when they come to ours and they never take there shoes off (I ask everyone to take shoes if as I live in a flat and try to be respectful and quiet to neighbours downstair) and they trash the place and empty every toy box while the parents stand and watch them leave, me and dp then spend ages tidying it up!

Dread going out to restaurants with them..

Also I would totally block of a room if I had new carpet and your SIL is BU

topcat2014 · 11/02/2019 18:48

We only went into my grandmothers front lounge for parties and Christmases. Don't remember the rule being difficult to learn :)

NorthbyNorthwest22 · 11/02/2019 18:54

Sil sounds like a knob! I’ve trained my dog to stay out of our study so I’m sure the kids are capable of keeping the paint to one room

JaneEB · 11/02/2019 19:10

We have two grandchildren we look after after school, one aged 4 and one aged 8. We simply close the doors of the rooms we don't want them in and tell them they do not go through closed doors without asking us. They do as they are told (in this anyway), our granddaughter (the youngest) asked why and I told her there were things in there that could hurt her, she took that in and now knows not to go through closed doors in our house.

Lweji · 11/02/2019 19:24

When I were a lad, no body, but no body went in the parlour!

It's always best to bury or cremate anyway. Wink

Mrskeats · 11/02/2019 19:24

Sil is the sort of person to let her kids go nuts in a coffee shop/restaurant. Entitled.

drspouse · 11/02/2019 19:28

My older one has ADHD, he knows in principle you don't play in our bedroom, no food on the sofa etc.
We'd have to remind him, granted, but he gets the idea enough to try and persuade new babysitters to break the rules.

Unfinishedkitchen · 11/02/2019 19:39

Of course you can. DD and her mates have known from at least the age of 4 not to enter my bedroom.

Your SIL sounds like one of those ‘boys will be boys’ ineffectual parents.

Unfinishedkitchen · 11/02/2019 19:41

...and yes why did she take paint to someone else’s house? She’s pissing me off and I don’t even know her! She sounds pretty entitled and rude to be honest.