AIBU “you can’t block a room off to kids”?

[Aberforthsgoat]

Was at MIL’s yesterday and she has just had a new carpet fitted. SIL and BIL were also over and brought their three boys with them who were playing with colouring pens and some paint crayon thingies that they’d brought with them so MIL said she would close the living room door and block it off to the kids.
SIL found this very funny and said she couldn’t block a room off to kids unless she was going to lock it as they would just go in there anyway.
MIL asked the boys nicely to stay out of the living room with the pens and paints and they seemed quite happy to, but SIL kept cutting over and saying honestly you can’t stop them, they’ll forget in a minute and just wander in there you’ll have to get a lock.

Boys are 9,8 and 6.

AIBU to think you absolutely can block off a room if you choose and that the parents should take responsibility for stopping them going in there?

It wasn’t actual paint it was those
Paint crayons - maybe solid paint sticks I think? I didn’t think they were too bad compared to the glitter tbh but then the glitter was my house 😁🙈

Glitter

She’s definitely trying to piss you all off.

If she wants to bring craft why not just bring coloured pencils etc.

@littlebearpad it was at Christmas and a Christmas craft kit so think it was just unfortunate!

But very glad to know that I am not being unnecessarily snotty about the blocking off the room.
I’m one of the lucky (rare?) ones that has a lovely MIL and it just seemed so unnecessary!

She sounds a bit like my sister. She doesnt really parent her kids either.

Washable crayola felt tips until they leave home all the way

One of my “friends” had a home office but was going to rent an office because her kids wouldn’t stay out of it. They’re 10 and 7. I find this mind blowing, why have we reached a stage where kids are so entitled that parents think they shouldn’t respect no. It really worries me for the future.

Jesus @mushlet that’s terrible

@mushlett oops sorry tagged you wrong

Whilst I agree that the kids should respect the rule of the house they're in (and obvs not bring crayons etc) I find it really sad that there are people who don't let children into certain rooms in a house - even their own house!

In thise cases it looks like appearances and a pristine carpet are more important than their children's comfort ???!!! I've never seen this in real life- MN really is a different world!

If I was the SIL I wouldn't bother visiting and would let MIL spend quality time with her naice carpet since she obviously prefers it to her gcs.

FFS, of course children can know to stay out of rooms. We never went in to our grandparents' bedroom, our parents' if they weren't there or the spare room if someone was using it. It's politeness, boundaries and privacy. If it were something like a room being painted or a new carpet down, we knew not to go in. All the older generation had the 'Front Rooms' which were for best and I knew from very young to ask to go in to play around on the piano or borrow a book depending on the household.

The belles,you sound like one of those 🙄 parents, it not about mAi taini g a pristine house, but about protecting valuables and things from getting damaged and safety, especially if people don't parent properly. But to hell with that, as long as the little darlings are happy so what! My aunty used to have can cousin, back in the 1950s, when he was little, when he used to go Tommy aunt's house, he used to cAuse merry hell, smashing things up and break-in, they used to dread him and his mother visting, and used to hide, when they rang the bell. Mum just used to sit there and do nothing, instead saying that's ok my son, enjoy yourself, he's just having fun😒😒😒. She offered to replace the items broke, but that's not the point.

Just asked my 14yo what he thinks, and he said "the SIL is the biggest child of the lot of them"

She sounds very tiring.

The belles it's not about keeping a pristine house, I'm not bothered about visiting kids playing and making a mess (it can be tidied up). I would draw the line at risking paint all over a brand new carpet though.
No child deserves to be accommodated to that extent and if you go around insisting yours are you won't be invited to many houses.

@thebellsofsaintclements I don’t really see why she has to choose? So if she doesn’t let her grandchildren into the room with brand new carpet, while they have paint pens and are likely to wreck it, that means she doesn’t put them first?!
I don’t see why she can’t enjoy her nice home AND love her grandchildren. The two aren’t mutually exclusive surely

Oh don't be silly thebells!

I wasn't allowed in my parents' bedroom when I was little. It wasn't an issue, we had plenty of other rooms that I could go in at will. I respected their space as I was taught. And now I know to respect other people's.

Every room in my house is open to us all. Can't be doing with special rooms with special rules . Reminds me too much of the in-laws!

Right master I hope tha when yiu go to people's houses with yiur kids you are watching what they are doing, and offer to pay if yiur kid breaks some things. Fine for you, but different rules for different houses, and that has to be respected. When my friends kids used to come round, I used to close certain rooms to them, as mum was very lax, and they woukd trash the place. Their young daughter flooded our bathroom.

I don't let the DCs in my bedroom. Ever.
Not because I don't love them, but because that's my space. I also don't let toddler in the bathroom unless I'm in there too. I used to not let them in the kitchen either but doesn't work since I've moved. I still did baking and cooking with them. But in the dining room.
I just can't cope with the mess/disasters and risk of hurting themselves or destroying something important.

Hah - my grandfather could certainly block off a room to children. Admittedly he did it the other way around and blocked us out of the room he and the other adults were having a peaceful chat in, but no way were we getting through that door!

Agreed re paints etc - I wouldn't let dc trash someone else's house either and would def offer to pay if they did break something by accident - but children not being alloweed in children's bedrooms? Why?

Isn't it one of the greatest joys of parenthood cuddling your dc in your bed on a Saturday morning? Or how about bringing them into your bed for the rest of the night when they've had a nightmare? Angela - have you seriously never done that?

My 3 and 4 year old understand they are not allowed in my office. They abide by it. SIL obviously is ruled by the kids if they cannot listen and comply at their ages

I’m assuming your SIL has spirited children

Kids can certainly understand this sort of rule as they follow rules like this at school all the time, with certain areas for different activities and so on.

No we don't co sleep. If they have a nightmare I get out of bed, I cuddle them, I sit with them until they go to sleep, then I go back to bed. If they're ill and I'm worried I don't sleep. I stay up on the sofa with TV on and monitor next to me. I have tried to co sleep a couple of times but my kids like their space when they're asleep, as do I. In the morning at the weekend we make a bed on the sofa for cuddles (or when they're poorly). I'm up before them and to sleep after them 99% of the time.

Fair enough Angela. Tbf I can see it from both sides - I think I may have overreacted earlier on as my MIL has made my kids feel unwelcome many a time (just for being kids, they're not little terrors I promise! )

Eg she once told my toddler that she would send him a bill for redecorating her hallway if he touched the wall next to the stairs again (which he was using for support while going up the stairs!)