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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU “you can’t block a room off to kids”?

175 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 10/02/2019 11:21

Was at MIL’s yesterday and she has just had a new carpet fitted. SIL and BIL were also over and brought their three boys with them who were playing with colouring pens and some paint crayon thingies that they’d brought with them so MIL said she would close the living room door and block it off to the kids.
SIL found this very funny and said she couldn’t block a room off to kids unless she was going to lock it as they would just go in there anyway.
MIL asked the boys nicely to stay out of the living room with the pens and paints and they seemed quite happy to, but SIL kept cutting over and saying honestly you can’t stop them, they’ll forget in a minute and just wander in there you’ll have to get a lock.

Boys are 9,8 and 6.

AIBU to think you absolutely can block off a room if you choose and that the parents should take responsibility for stopping them going in there?

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 10/02/2019 12:25

Of course u can! It's her house..
Especially when paint is involved!

gamerwidow · 10/02/2019 12:27

Underhisi
Difficult but not impossible though. Anyway moot point because if SN was a factor in this instance the OP would have said.

ineedaholidaynow · 10/02/2019 12:27

ThisMust why does it sound stressful. DS has never been allowed to do painting type craft activities in our lounge, never mind in his GPs’ houses, and especially if they have had a new carpet.

I would have thought that was just decent, considerate parenting.

planespotting · 10/02/2019 12:29

I think at that age you can. Not at 2 though Grin
Maybe SiL needs to be proactive instead of demanding a lock

gamerwidow · 10/02/2019 12:30

Tbh, I just wouldn't take my kids to MIL's house.
You’d refuse to let your kids go to their grandparents house because they weren’t allowed to run riot?

Ribbonsonabox · 10/02/2019 12:32

Of course you can! I can tell my 4yo not to go in somewhere and he wont. Your sister sounds like a cf.

StreetwiseHercules · 10/02/2019 12:33

Why would anyone even take paints and pens to someone else’s house anyway? Bizarre.

RomanyQueen1 · 10/02/2019 12:33

Of course you can block rooms off.
Our bedroom was out of bounds to all our dc.
We had an office they weren't allowed in, and a reception room.
They certainly didn't have the run of the home.
Of course they could go in the rooms if need be but that was very rare and they had to knock and be asked in.
It's not harmed them in anyway and has helped to teach them that some things are grown up and not for them

DroningOn · 10/02/2019 12:34

I was expecting toddlers, at that age they should be able to do as they're told.

Pinkbells · 10/02/2019 12:34

Well the boys themselves answered that - they listened and didn't go in. Didn't your slightly mad SIL notice that?

Vixxxy · 10/02/2019 12:36

Course you can. SIL should respect MILs 'rules'. Sounds quite like her kids never get told no, or if they ignore the no, the adults just stop saying it.

Madratlady · 10/02/2019 12:39

Your SIL sounds ridiculous. I’d expect a toddler to forget/not understand that sort of instruction. My 3yr old knows pens and paint stay on the table as I imagine most NT children would by 3.

viques · 10/02/2019 12:39

I take it the brand new carpet came as a complete surprise to SIL and BIL, because otherwise they surely wouldn't have brought pens and paints to amuse their children, would they!

Underhisi · 10/02/2019 12:45

"Difficult but not impossible though."

You've not met some children. Unless you are holding onto them they don't leave things alone. In that situation you tend to avoid other people's houses completely and keep your own locked down.
I agree it is not the case in the OP's situation.

MarthasGinYard · 10/02/2019 12:46

'playing with colouring pens and some paint crayon thingies that they’d brought with them'

CF's

'Paint crayons' to someone else's house. Great.

JRMisOdious · 10/02/2019 12:46

9,8 and 6 is certainly old enough to not just understand please don’t go in there with paints, but also why. I would always ask before taking children’s art things into someone else’s house.

MyBreadIsEggy · 10/02/2019 12:47

Of course you can.
My kids are 2 & 3, and my mum’s living room is off limits to them because it’s not remotely toddler-proofed and she has lots of pretty glass ornaments in there. We just shut the door and they don’t go in there.
The kitchen/diner is usually where all the hustle and bustle goes on anyway

PhilomenaButterfly · 10/02/2019 12:48

Do any of them have SEN? I absolutely would have to lock the door to keep DS 7 out, he has ADHD, but for NT DC, if they don't do as they're told, it's down to lazy parenting.

Bluelady · 10/02/2019 12:48

Why would SiL and bil be told about the new carpet? We don't tell our kids every time we buy something.

PhilomenaButterfly · 10/02/2019 12:50

I've brought mine up, if the door's shut, you don't go in.

RandomMess · 10/02/2019 12:54

Actually you don't "block" the room off, the rule is all craft stuff is at the table ONLY. Same with food and drink, just sensible!

viques · 10/02/2019 13:08

bluelady

Because in the real world, not on Mumsnet, this is a possible conversation

SIL Hi mum, how are you? listen we were thinking of popping over at the weekend to see you, is that OK?

MIl Oh that would be great, the carpet fitters just finished so we'll have everything back in place by then.

SIL So how does it look? ARe you pleased with it?

MIl It looks great, he's done a lovely job and it makes such a difference . SHould have got rid of that manky old thing years ago.....

Other imaginary conversations are availavble on request.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 10/02/2019 13:14

I grew up one of about 11 grandchildren and one Nana simply pointed to a door and said "That room's for best, you don't go in there!" and her parlour remained here treasure and escape room forever! We were never told twice! As the eldest I have lots of memories of being invited in there to sit withher and be told about her treasures, but no memories at all of any child just letting themselves in.

And we used to fill that house at Christmas... can you imagine trying to field that maky kids and their adults?

labazsisgoingmad · 10/02/2019 13:19

why shouldnt mil have a nice carpet and room to keep nice i think sil should bring something more appropriate like a book rather than messy paints or better still get the kids to sit and talk to granny

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/02/2019 13:36

Oh I can't deal with people who seem to think that small children can't be made to behave properly!!

At our playgroup we had a woman who had 3 boys. She went for coffee with my next door neighbour, whose DS1 was a similar age to her DS2 - and my NDN was telling her DS to share, when this woman said "Oh there's no point trying to get them to share at that age, they just won't" - boys were nearly 3! Of course they can start to learn to share at that age, but it said an awful lot about why her boys were the way they were at playgroup!

Your SIL is setting herself up for a whole load of future grief if she doesn't get to grips with teaching her sons how to behave properly.