‘Disgusting’ for pumping in public.

[TopazPearl]

I was recently out for my best friends hen for my first overnight stay without my babyDD.

I’m breast feeding my baby so took my breast pump out with me

"Expressing can be done at any time." What rubbish. The pain of engorged breasts becomes unbearable quite quickly.

I expressed at 7pm. We were in the taxi by 9. Thats two hours when breast milk can be kept for 6 hours at room temp.

I had every intention of keeping the milk to feed my baby, another reason why I didn’t fancy preparing this in a toilet but also as my DH enjoys bonding with our baby like that and it’s nice to have a break every once in a while.

However, considering the altercation and absolute humiliation over being called disgusting and that I’d brought shame to our group - it did go straight down the toilet.

Why? Because women with those kind of views who can gossip and judge behind people’s back would in no way have then allowed me to have then stored my milk in our communal fridge where we were staying.

It’s a good job I don’t exclusively bottle feed due to latching issues or tongue tie - I can imagine the night and my own well being would have been a hell of a lot harder with women like this in the world who have a superiority complex over what kind of milk production is ‘ok’.

As I’ve said, I was discreet and this was encouraged by the hen. I was not ‘relieving myself in the corner’ it is nothing like excrement, urine or vaginal bleeding - I sure as hell wouldn’t be putting any of the above in my DDs mouth - which there are plenty of traces of in a public toilet..

I sure as hell wouldn’t be putting any of the above in my DDs mouth - which there are plenty of traces of in a public toilet..

Exactly! Why the fuck should tie baby’s food be prepared near other people’s shit and piss? Would the batshit Mil like to cook her tea in the toilets?

tie = *the

Wow OP, there are some very narrow minded people on here! I'm glad to see you have had lots of support as well though.

I cannot understand why people think this is so unacceptable! Not least because if you're pumping you can actually cover up a lot more than if you are breastfeeding! My son had terrible tongue tie and I went through several week-long periods of exclusively expressing. I expressed many a time in the front of my car (while parked of course!). I also had massive health anxiety and if I had had to take my pump into a toilet it would have sent me into a total meltdown worrying about germs - I wouldn't have been able to feed that milk to my baby.

I think the reason people think it is unacceptable us because mums are worried about getting exactly this kind of reaction- so they tend not to pump in public. If I have to pump next time round then I will make an effort to do so while I am out and about, to help normalise it :)

Expressing can be done at any time, before going out and then hand expressing a little while out if you need to

Not always it can't and that's the kind of behaviour that leads to engorgement and mastitis.

But don't let your lack of knowledge hold you back from your strong opinions on how other women should maintain their breastfeeding

It’s hardly a drip feed when it doesn’t have any relevance whatsoever - what was said and done happened regardless. I didn’t come back and tell anyone I had dumped the milk - so where is the attention seeking?

No one ‘told me off either’, not a single person approached me personally until I was physically grabbed and marked, and told explicitly that further violence should have been put on me so don’t think it’s that much of an over reaction..

The milk needed to come out whether it was thrown away or not. I swear people think breasts are like a fridge you can open when you feel like it.

For me, some of the issue is that it took place in a bar. I understand that people need to express on long flights, long train journeys or at works and conferences etc. as you are there for a long period of time and there is no alternative. I would raise an eyebrow at someone expressing in a bar as I would think there would be more appropriate opportunities before and after being in said bar. I get what everyone is saying about expressing supporting bf and I suppose having considered some of the arguments and views I am convinced that a woman should be able to express wherever she wants. I bf for a long time and always found somewhere more discrete if I needed to express, but maybe that’s my issue and if more women did it then it would become normalized.

From the title I thought you were going to say you’d farted 😳

It never fails to amaze and depress me how much some women like to bring other women down, and on a site that is ostensibly designed for and used by mums (although not exclusively). It's bizarre.

If anyone is that bothered by what someone is doing quietly in a corner of a bar when it has zero impact on them, you're odd and need to mind your own business.

Surely that can be said for anyone in the corner of a bar though?

And for what it’s worth there’s never an excuse to put hands, or grab, on another person. She was obviously out of line.

OP - you did nothing wrong. You were a victim of good old fashioned misogyny. Why anyone would think a woman would want to draw attention to herself by pumping boggles the mind. It’s an action founded purely in biology and practicality. Not only is milk sterile but pumping Dan he done discreetly and it actively desexualises breasts (but then that’s probably why people don’t like it - can’t have those breasts feeding babies eh?).

I thought you meant 'pumping' as in shagging. I was confused what your breastfeeding had to do with it!

*"Expressing can be done at any time." What rubbish. The pain of engorged breasts becomes unbearable quite quickly.
*

Not to mention the fact that milk starts pouring out of its own accord!

I used to pump at uni in lectures, my lecturer even said to me that I was fine to go find somewhere private to pump as long as I didn’t get it out in the lecture theatre...I was actually pumping as he said that and he didn’t even realise. MIL sounds like a right tit. Your poor BF for having that to deal with all her life!!!! Ignore her ignorant views xx

Indeed, as I discovered in Starbucks last week while the baby was asleep!

The hen's future MIL was beyond out of order.

I don't see how discreet pumping is much different then breastfeeding. 🤷🏻‍♀️

With the length of time the OP was away from her daughter regular pumping would be a must.

My work even said they didn't mind pumping outside of a toilet , why would anyone else care?? Hardly like your waving nips around is it.
People are mental. Even if mil did care then it's just a raised eyebrows n move on, anything else is insanity and rude

All of you saying she could wait or was attention seeking, have any of you actually breastfed?

When mine were full they were like bloody fountains.

I was getting measured for a bra just after having dd and it spurted out of both boobs when I took off my bra. I was so self conscious and mortified and the fitting lady laughed and said she'd seen it many times.

You were a victim of good old fashioned misogyny. Why anyone would think a woman would want to draw attention to herself by pumping boggles the mind. It’s an action founded purely in biology and practicality. Not only is milk sterile but pumping Dan he done discreetly and it actively desexualises breasts (but then that’s probably why people don’t like it - can’t have those breasts feeding babies eh?).

This a million times. Don't let those women be too free now....

The slutty attention seeking ones that is. Totally fine if done quietly at home where rude boobies belong.

I breast fed and never pumped in public, it is definitely not the same as feeding the baby. I wouldn't have thought of taking the pump out on an evening out
Well lucky you. I had to exclusively pump and after spending the first few weeks a recluse in my house decided to start actually going out with my baby. I've pumped all over the place.