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AIBU?

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Original poster

‘Disgusting’ for pumping in public.

219 replies

TopazPearl · 04/02/2019 06:12

I was recently out for my best friends hen for my first overnight stay without my babyDD.

I’m breast feeding my baby so took my breast pump out with me

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 04/02/2019 06:54

I thought this was going to be a fart thread Sad

BikeRunSki · 04/02/2019 06:55

The only person who is disgusting in this scenario is the MIL fir making you feel like that.

Disfordarkchocolate · 04/02/2019 06:58

Never invite your MIL to be on your hen night!!! If it didn't bother the hen then everyone else should have just moved away for a short time if they didn't like it. At least the bride is now fully aware that she needs to limit time with the nutty interfering MIL.

PrimeraVez · 04/02/2019 06:59

I'm a pumping veteran and have pumped in some weird places, including the back of a taxi, on a plane and in an outside toilet in China.

In your situation I would have gone and quickly pumped in the toilet, purely cos I couldn't be bothered faffing around wrapping my coat around me, trying to discretely smuggle the full bottle out etc. But that said, it was a really bizarre overreaction by the MIL!

pilates · 04/02/2019 06:59

So you were out in a bar when you expressed, don’t you have to store it in a fridge? Or did you carry it around with you for the rest of the night?

Auntiepatricia · 04/02/2019 07:00

Pilates I’m sure she put it in her bag and chucked it. It’s perfectly disposable.

Bobfossil2 · 04/02/2019 07:00

I really can’t see why people are funny about pumping milk- I’ve seen another thread a bit like this this week. I don’t see the issue, it’s only milk. I guess it’s kind of weird watching the milk coming on but you don’t have to look!

Bobfossil2 · 04/02/2019 07:00

Coming out*

MsTSwift · 04/02/2019 07:01

I ebf both mine but now well through that stage must sayextracting stuff from your body makes me feel abit squeamish and would have put me right off my food. I wouldn’t have said anything to spare your feelings but think they had a point. When you are out of the early years of nappies, breastmilk and snot it all seems abit grim but when you in it day to day your perspective different

Original poster
TopazPearl · 04/02/2019 07:02

@vitalogy ha, I wish, at least that could have been amusing!

Yes I fully expressed before I went at 2pm, and I spend most my days with pumps and towels attached to me so unfortunately a little hand expressing wouldn’t have cut it.

We were on two different tables at this point, I was sat with the hen and a group of friends who we have known 15+ years so maybe I should have realised that although they felt completely comfortable - other people in the party might not have been, so can understand if this was an oversight on my part.

I am a first time mum, still learning what’s socially acceptable and what’s not but did feel fully comfortable and as a previous poster had said that I was ‘among friends’.

OP posts:
Mrsemcgregor · 04/02/2019 07:06

The Bride and BF wanted you to stay at the table. You obliged even though you were prepared to go to the bathroom. You covered up and we’re discreet.

You did nothing wrong.

The future MIL is batshit. Poor BF, I wonder how things will be when she has DC and needs to feed them at the in laws.

MsTSwift · 04/02/2019 07:06

I think they were unkind but I don’t think it’s socially acceptable to use a breast pump in a restaurant

Believability · 04/02/2019 07:12

I think it’s just a bit of an odd thing to do. I wouldn’t have said anything but I also wouldn’t have done it. I don’t think that pumping in a toilet is in any way similar to feeding a baby in the toilet. It definitely wasn’t worth the fuss the MIL made but sense should have made you think that it probably wasn’t an appropriate place to do if

Fiona0x · 04/02/2019 07:13

I imagine you were in a bar of some sort, and fully covered up, surrounded by women you have trusted for a long time - I genuinely don't see a problem with it.

Fuck her OP. Hats off to you. I never had to confidence to BF in public, I think you're great.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 04/02/2019 07:14

I think mil to be and bf were spoiling for a scrap. It's going to be an interesting marriage.

MsTSwift · 04/02/2019 07:16

I breastfed in public a lot but seeing someone pumping milk out of them makes me feel abit icky tbh. Appreciate that’s my issue so wouldnt have said anything but internally would have wished you hadn’t

GCAcademic · 04/02/2019 07:17

I hope the bride-to-be has taken good note of what she can expect when she gives birth to this woman’s grandchild.

Jaxtellerswife · 04/02/2019 07:20

Do some posters not realise that If you didn't pump then you'd probably soon be pouring milk all over yourself which would be much more noticeable than a quick discreet pump.

'Attention seeking'
Nobody wants to have to do these things, it's just one of the charming things the body brings when breastfeeding, certainly for some women.

I've done it op, I had the perfect spot at a take that concert and if I'd moved I would've lost it to fellow crazed fansGrinnot an ideal situation but they'd life, nobody seemed to notice or care

musicMerchandiseWebsite · 04/02/2019 07:22

This reply has been deleted

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LaurieMarlow · 04/02/2019 07:22

I imagine you were in a bar of some sort, and fully covered up, surrounded by women you have trusted for a long time - I genuinely don't see a problem with it.

Fuck her OP. Hats off to you. I never had to confidence to BF in public, I think you're great.

I second all of this.

As for the 'I support bfing, but don't want to see pumping in public' brigade, you need to start owning the contradictions in your thinking. Pumping is a key part of maintaining bfing for many woman.

If we believe that feeding shouldn't happen in a grotty toilet, why should the OP be consigned to one to pump if there is an alternative as there was here? Does she not matter? Hmm

MIL sounds like a fricking nightmare. I feel bad for the bride.

Lovingit81 · 04/02/2019 07:23

Your best friend sounds amazing. The MIL is a back dated insecure idiot. Let it go out of your mind and go back to your gorgeous baby. Congratulations x

Mabumssare · 04/02/2019 07:26

I sounds like you were discreet and your BF was on board so I dont think you did anything wrong. May the MIL will regret her outburst when she is sober ?

Those who don't see why it's a bid deal to go to the toliet. Where would she sit ? On an actual toliet? It took 9 mins to do one side so she would be spending say 20 mins in a bar toilet which could be smelly, either taking up a cubicil or standing in the middle of the floor as people came in and out which surely would be much more 'on show' than sitting tucked away in a booth with a coat over her. Yes she could go to the toliet but why when she could stay among friends and be discreet.

purpleelk · 04/02/2019 07:26

How were you discreet when another table in a presumably loud bar knew you were expressing under that coat?

Original poster
TopazPearl · 04/02/2019 07:30

@purpleelk the mother in laws mother was the one who offered to put my breast pump in her bag for the night so the MIL was there when I asked for it and obviously saw me stay at the table.

OP posts:
recreationalcalpol · 04/02/2019 07:32

I had to pump in public the other day - I travel for work and, whilst a meeting room was supposed to have been booked for me to express in, there was no one around to tell me where it was. The next best thing was a staff room where I sat in a corner and got on with it. I had to pump then as I’d already been away for a number of hours, and I wouldn’t get a chance again for a few more hours. I couldn’t use a toilet as firstly, I’d have needed a plug socket and secondly, I didn’t particularly want my 4mo to consume milk that had been pumped in a toilet.

I was not unreasonable and the PP telling OP that she’s disgusting or ‘icky’ need to give their heads a wobble. We can’t all be with our babies 24/7 in order to feed them directly. We should be supporting those women to carry on BFing.

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