‘Disgusting’ for pumping in public.

[TopazPearl]

I was recently out for my best friends hen for my first overnight stay without my babyDD.

I’m breast feeding my baby so took my breast pump out with me

Can’t say I’m surprised by the comments - people are so disparaging about pumping in this country. I posted here a little while ago and mentioned pumping and someone said “pumping?! Do you mean breastfeeding?” as if I was making up its existence!

I’d be slightly uncomfortable with someone pumping in a public place - but I’d keep my thoughts to myself, as it’s my hang up, and would defend you doing so to idiots like your friends MIL to be. Bodily functions don’t come at will, ffs, you do what you need to when you have to.
You didn’t ruin her hen, her MIL did, and she will ruin a lot more for her. Poor BF, after my experiences with my first MIL, her behaviour would make me reconsider the wedding.

How long after the incident in the bar did she come into the bedroom what happened in that situation?

You did it under your coat so I don't see the issue. Personally I'd rather pump in a toilet (if I'm disposing of the milk it's just relieving myself of a bodily fluid not to feed the baby) so I guess she saw it as inappropriate to do that at the table.
It wouldn't bother me to see a woman relieving herself of excess milk in public but I can understand why it might bother others.

Although I fully accept the ‘should have just gone to the toilet in the first place’ comments - not sure what’s over the top/attention seeking/entitled about it.

Definitely didn’t stand on the chair and tell everyone to look.

I don’t have a pump with lots of parts etc, literally attach and press on. I didn’t even need to get any breast out - just pull my bra forward and pop the funnel round..

It’s a rechargeable battery powered one so quiet anyway and couldn’t be heard over the music. The pump was under my coat and the controller on my lap.

My friends, the hen, told me to stay and not leave the night for twenty minutes to go and sit in a toilet so where exactly is my sense of entitlement in this

What a dragon! Your poor friend having a MIL like that. She sounds nuts.

I don't think it's a bad thing if you're discreet about it. I've seen people get worse out in a bar!

If the consensus of your table was that you should stay there the MIL should accept it.

I pumped in public a lot as I exclusively pumped for my first as she couldn’t latch, but I wanted her to have Breast milk.

I was always discreet, mostly did it in cars but also did it using my hands free bra walking around London zoo.

Why do people think it’s any different to breastfeeding? I had to pump every three hours to prep enough milk for my baby and to keep my supply up. It was no one else’s business whether I had to do it or needed to. I wouldn’t have sat in a toilet to pump just like I wouldn’t sit in a toilet to BF’d.

I was always discreet, and wore my DHs big coat if I was pumping out and about.

Your friends MIL seems to have issues.

You haven’t been entitled OP, the MIL has been a twat.

I agree MarthasGinYard.

The MIL has just messaged me to apologise, maybe she is on Mumsnet..

Damn right the MIL should apologise ! You did nothing wrong at all! She assaulted you !!

I'm gobsmacked by some of the shitty responses on here.

**Could you not have just taken yourself off to the bedroom for ten minutes to express? It sounds like you ruined your bestfriend’s hen do which is a shame.

That is the worst comment for me. So ignorant and spiteful.

OP you carry on love, we are role models for women everywhere who need to see breastfeeding and pumping in order to normalise it for future generations. I bet if you had kept the pump in your own bag then no one would even have noticed. My pump runs on batteries and I might just go out and pump in a restaurant today in solidarity!

Good for you for putting your body and your baby first and not letting narrow minded prudes stop you.

Jesus Christ, the things that go on in the world and people get flamed for discreetly pumping under their coat. What the fuck! Do you live in Devon by any chance? If the MIL lives here then I'd set up a pumping protest outside her house, 40 women openly pumping and bringing shame on her home!

Ignore the haters OP, I'm proud of you!

Her MIL must have some serious hang ups to have had such a reaction! Even if she thought it was a bit odd, why act like that? She must have been stupidly drunk?

How drunk was MIL? She was utterly out of order.

I personally think people who would disapprove are being rather peculiar but at least people like LaLoba combine it with being decent human beings

@Mummyoflittledragon - I've had two bf children thank you so know all about it - can't say in all that time I've gone out for a few hours and needed to bf whilst out ... it's not a constant running tap you know 🙄

I pumped at the Royal Albert Hall once... They let me use their first aid room. :)

Needs must - you didn't do anything wrong.

Good.
I hope she has also given heartfelt apology to the hen.

I have to say I’m wondering how she is going to mend bridges now...

But the one you might want to remember is that you have great friends who have your back! And are enlightened enough not to see pumping as something to be ashamed off and to hide

(I’m wondeing what will happen if the soon to be bride has a child and decide to express. I’d be tempted to express in front of MIL again )

What has the hen said to them since?

flumpy
Again this is another comment about someone, who doesn’t get some women produces more milk than others. I missed a feed with dd when she was 6 weeks and took a bottle of expressed stuff. I ended up in agony with stretch marks. I didn’t even have excess milk. Op said she was engorged. She filled her bottle in less than 10 mins. She needed to express there and then.

It’s the same as not understanding periods can run like a tap all over again.

I think that people who are old enough to drink in a pub should really be old enough to be able to cope with the knowledge of how breastfeeding works. But it's not about that really. She came into your bedroom at 11 at night, grabbed you, and starts going on about who's talking about her? If I were the bride I would be having a serious talk with my fiance about a) has he realised his mother's a total nutter and b) what steps he will be taking to make sure that his mother's batshittery doesn't blow back on the bride.

I’m glad she’s apologised op.

OP The only thing I take from this is the MIL is an Ass and I am really impressed with you being able to pump a full bottle in a short time.

I could only pump about 15 ml in 30 mins. You must have been really engorged and it can get really painful if you don't pump. She is a very ignorant woman.

If I had been somewhere and knew you were doing that discreetly at a table I would think good for you. Too many women (me included), breastfed our poor babies in disgusting toilets so as to not upset other people, it is ridiculous I really feel we should support women to breastfeed as much and as comfortably as possible.

@Vitalogy so did I

I've had two bf children thank you so know all about it - can't say in all that time I've gone out for a few hours and needed to bf whilst out ... it's not a constant running tap you know.

flumpybear Actually you don't know all about it. You only know your experience. Yes lots of people can go a long time without needing to express. Some people produce so much milk that they need to express and feed.

My DGrandma, fed my mum and also took 3 bottles a day of breastmilk to the maternity unit for babies in Special Care because she had so much milk.

I could barely get 25 ml whenever I pumped so completely different from DGrandma.

You did nothing wrong. I had to express three times on a hen do. First time I went to the toilet but the other two times I did it wherever we were. Meant I didn't keep missing out and it was all underneath my clothes.

I'm glad she's apologised.