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AIBU?

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Original poster

‘Disgusting’ for pumping in public.

219 replies

TopazPearl · 04/02/2019 06:12

I was recently out for my best friends hen for my first overnight stay without my babyDD.

I’m breast feeding my baby so took my breast pump out with me

OP posts:
FeedMyFaceWithBattenberg · 04/02/2019 11:13

I can't believe what I'm reading!
I exclusively pumped for 10m.
And I pumped everywhere.
Parks, 1st class train to and from Scotland every 3 hours, day and night around the clock every 3 hours, because I wanted to feed my son.
It is exactly the same as breast feeding and you shouldn't be ashamed to do what is right for you and your baby.

trooth · 04/02/2019 11:17

You did nothing wrong OP. Some of the replies here are so utterly disappointing. The breastfeeding rates in this country are so low, with attitudes like this you can see why mums may find breastfeeding and pumping (which is a normal part of supporting milk supply) too embarrassing/intimidating a prospect.

I struggled with both my babies but with my second, I had to discretely pump in public at times (under a blanket like scarf/wrap). I had to fly to Spain when he was 3 weeks old as my father died - I pumped in the airport, on the plane, in various places in Spain (which by the way, seemed a lot less judgemental on the whole vs UK) just to keep my supply up. I was terrified my supply would dwindle and I would fail this baby too.

Keep pumping op.

2019Dancerz · 04/02/2019 16:51

I would think twice about going to the wedding, after this. I wouldn’t want to be near such aggressive people.

Dextrodependant · 04/02/2019 18:45

I said earlier could you have expressed before you went out and reading through that thread I realised that I had assumed quite a lot of information that I didn't actually have.

I breastfed for almost 3 years and never had to pump in public, but thinking about it, I didn't have a social life so it was never an issue for me.

I had assumed that the hen do started with dinner, you have since said otherwise so of course pumping before you went wouldn't have been sufficient.

I had also assumed you would be dumping the milk, you haven't said either way.

I also assumed it was an older baby so well established milk supply, feeding to supplement weaning. You haven't mentioned the age of the baby.

So OP I apologise for being presumptuous and hope my post didn't make you feel bad in anyway. Keep up the good work!

Firestars · 04/02/2019 18:50

Wow. This and some of the responses on here are Shock

A lot of Britain really has a weird and unhealthy attitude towards breastfeeding etc.

Nobody would bat an eyelid where I live. Bunch of pearly clutching twerps.

Firestars · 04/02/2019 18:51

Women are applauded for breastfeeding and everything associated with it here. Thank fuck most places aren't as anally retentive as the UK! Easy to see why your bf'ing rate are so piss poor.

WetWipesGoInTheBin · 04/02/2019 18:59

When I went to register the birth of my DD a woman was expressing completely in public. My only thought was do 6 months babies make you produce that much!?!

I have friends who have expressed on nights out in public. No big deal the group hides them if there is no suitable place for them to pump in private. Oh and strange guys if they see them look away so I've come to the conclusion it's another women shaming other women issue.

CountessVonBoobs · 04/02/2019 19:56

I've never dumped milk, fwiw. I have a small coolbag and the hotel/bar have always put it in the fridge for me. I am constitutionally incapable of pouring breastwork down a drain.

CountessVonBoobs · 04/02/2019 19:57

Um... Breastwork? Shock I think you all understand me.

Foxandthehound · 04/02/2019 20:12

Some of the comments on here are very, very odd. I'm failing to see how pumping, discreetly, in a room full of people is attention seeking? Not as if she had her boob (or even the pump for that matter!) on display.

You didn't ruin the night op. What you done wasn't weird, or disgusting. It's perfectly natural.

There is nothing unreasonable about what you done, you shouldn't be made to of sit in a grotty toilet. Pumping isn't a disgusting thing that should be hidden away!

SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2019 00:30

If any of you pumping mum's are pumping milk to pour it down a tube, high five. You should be beyond proud of yourself

#tubefeedingweek

nocoolnamesleft · 05/02/2019 00:50

The table is a more appropriate place to pump than a scummy toilet.

MilkybarsROnMe · 05/02/2019 01:08

Unless you had your tit out resting on the table next to your drink I see no problem. I've pumped at Wimbledon on centre court watching the final, at a Coldplay concert, on my own hen do (not in a toilet), out for meals, I just get on with it and do it (discreetly). Unless you are taking your entire dress off and getting naked in public what's the problem? Personally I'd rather have some woman having a hissy fit for 20 minutes than mastitus for the next few days.

She sounds a bit bonkers anyway, just ignore her.

Ribbonsonabox · 05/02/2019 01:18

Who are these people who can 'Express before they go out'? My breasts fill at my babies usual feeding times... if I try and Express outside of those times hardly anything comes out... and my breasts will still fill up at the time I usually feed my baby...

I've had to express in a bar before.. it's that or get swollen rock hard boobs leaking milk all over your clothing! And who wants to sit for half an hour in minging bar toilets? No woman should have to do that in this day and age.
The MIL was nuts and I'm so pleased that she was being called up on it by people.

MilkybarsROnMe · 05/02/2019 01:24

I don't understand how the women commenting on this thread that have breastfed think that you can express before you go out and that's you sorted for the entire day/night?! If your boobs are used to feeding a baby every 2-3 hours they'll fill up and require emptying after that amount of time, at least that's how mine work.

StoppinBy · 05/02/2019 01:25

I am super jealous of all the Mums on here who have such great success expressing milk, I fed my first til almost 2 and my second is 21mnth and feeding still but as for expressing, it used to take me all day just to get enough for a bottle.

300+ from one breast! Amazing!

I can't believe the fiancé's GM saying what she did - both cows the pair of them!! You didn't ruin the night, they did, don't feel a moments guild about what happened.

StoppinBy · 05/02/2019 01:26

@milkybars I can go a day without feeding/expressing and mine just slow down rather than get really full, in one way I am lucky but in another way I always wished I had excess so I could bottle it.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 05/02/2019 02:00

All I can say is breast pumps must have got a hell of a lot better since my day. I hired an electric contraption from the hospital which came in its own mini suitcase, I looked and felt like a cow being milked. There is no way I could have done it discretely in public (under a coat!).

The MIL totally over-reacted.

StarlightLady · 05/02/2019 03:50

Not disgusting at all. Hold your head high and be proud. Well done!

TheSerenDipitY · 05/02/2019 06:44

@StoppinBy they were GG and settled to a HH after the first month or so and have gone down to a E cup now, i had to pump both at the same time as once one started they both were like open taps, so messy and bloody annoying like clock work 4 hours bam the taps opened!! went liek that for 5 and a half months then poof all gone, i had a ton in the freezer though so went to formula after that

TheSerenDipitY · 05/02/2019 06:47

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1
Avent did a nice small battery powered one that wasnt too huge or loud at all, compared to the avent hand pump, so still possible to be discrete and use it
the electric one i used in the hospital was enormous it sat on a tea trolley sort of thing

CountessVonBoobs · 05/02/2019 06:52

@alwayscrashing hospital grade double pumps are still pretty big and noisy, but now you can get things like this:

www.elvie.com/shop/elvie-pump

They don't have the suction of a hospital grade double but they do just literally sit inside your bra.

Fancyacuppaluv · 05/02/2019 06:53

Some of the comments and attitudes on here are truly outstanding!

Unless you had your tits out at the table, I absolutely cannot see the issue with discreet pumping. Anyone who has BF should know, it’s not always possible to get your breasts to fill up with milk to timetable and you should be applauded for your commitment to feeding OP.

The MIL was a twat. You didn’t ruin the night and pumping discreetly is absolutely not disgusting.

And if you haven’t BF, then shut the fuck up and leave the OP alone.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 05/02/2019 07:03

You shouldn't have to sit in a public loo for 20 mins (and hog a cubicle). It sounds like you have a great system worked out with the battery pump inside your bra and your coat on. I think expressing at the table was fine. The MIL completely overreacted, if she disapproves she can surely do so quietly.

The MIL will be a complete nightmare when she becomes a grandma, I hope your friend is able to stand up to her!

Weirdwonders · 05/02/2019 07:23

Weeing is a bodily function but I wouldn’t set up a plastic potty in the corner of a bar, drape my skirts over it and go there either.
Can we try and retain some public decorum? You weren’t breastfeeding.

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