Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP's behaviour while DS is in hospital

224 replies

nameychanging · 31/01/2019 17:08

DS rushed to hospital today (he's completely okay now), but at the time I was on my own with him, terrified.
I rang my mum first (as she works in a GP surgery and would've sought advice immediately).
Our GP second.
A&E reception third. All in quick succession and was on the phone to 999 within 5 minutes. Before the ambulance even arrived, I messaged DP to tell him to meet us there.
When we got here (including my mum), she mentioned about how I'd rang her, and he got in a huff about how it upset him that I hadn't rang him. Everyone I rang was for medical advice on whether to call 999, not just to let them know!

We were then told that DS might stay in overnight.
A male friend of mine was up at the hospital too. I have history with him (before DP) but was very brief and had a friendship afterwards. DP is aware of it and has been fine with it. He kindly offered to give me a lift to mine and then back to collect stuff for the night. I told DP and he got in the biggest mood, told me I had other options and was just choosing to go with him, and then proceeded to make the atmosphere in the room so uncomfortable. Told me to stop looking at him, kept giving me dirty looks, even put his middle finger up at me when DS had turned round! His mood only let up when I contacted another friend and asked her if she could sort out a lift for me.

I'm disgusted. I really am. On the scariest day for me in so long. Sad

OP posts:
Greggers2017 · 31/01/2019 17:10

The first thing I would have done was 999 then child's dad.
No need for gp or a&e if you think it requires an ambulance.
I'm sure you'd want your partner to call you if it was the other way round. Your partner was probably worried sick just like you are. Let it go

Auntiepatricia · 31/01/2019 17:11

Jeez, he sounds like a catch. I’m not sure I could come up with any meaningful excuse for his behaviour. Even if he was upset, who acts like that!

Porridgeprincess · 31/01/2019 17:12

While he is upset, everything you did was for medical reasons so he needs to get over this in my opinion. Everyone is stressed, prob best you leave it be now.

Jackshouse · 31/01/2019 17:13

How was your male friend there? Did you contact him or bump into him?

Original poster
nameychanging · 31/01/2019 17:13

@Jackshouse bumped into him!

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 31/01/2019 17:13

You need to learn - it's all about HIM! And if it isn't, then it should be! Poor neglected soul...Sad

Jackshouse · 31/01/2019 17:14

If you are unsure if you need to ring 999 then ring 111, they will pass you onto 999 if appropriate. GPS receptionists are medical professionals.

Fairylea · 31/01/2019 17:15

Does the male friend work at the hospital?

Jackshouse · 31/01/2019 17:15

Your ‘d’ is an arse and very unpleasant.

Original poster
nameychanging · 31/01/2019 17:15

@Fairylea nope, visiting someone.

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/01/2019 17:16

It’s when the chips are down, and you’re in need of support the most that you find out who your partner truly is. Today you found out. It’s up to you whatvyiu do with that information but I know I wouldn’t feel at all safe being at his mercy in the event of a long term illness or such that relied on him caring for me or providing support.

Blackbear10 · 31/01/2019 17:20

TBF you probably should’ve phoned your Partner after 999 but before your mother. Your mother wouldn’t be able to give you any better medical advice than 999. I would’ve been a bit miffed about that tbh.

The rest of your post, your Partner is being a dick but maybe he is just worried? Only you know if he has form and if so what do you want to do about it?

JasperKarat · 31/01/2019 17:21

Your 'D' P sounds like an arsehole. He stuck his finger up at you, acted like a jealous imbecile,, because someone offered a to help you out and is sulking, when you're DS is poorly? WTF

howabout · 31/01/2019 17:21

If DS is also your DP's son then I would have expected a call rather than a text. I can understand why, given the situation, he is put out that his MiL and DP's ex knew the state of play before he did.

SpinneyHill · 31/01/2019 17:21

What did he say when you told him to Grow Up and keep some perspective?

Honestly a child in hospital is a situation that sees most decent people offer no-strings attached help (even if there's a 'history'), his jealousy was wholly juvenile.

JasperKarat · 31/01/2019 17:23

*your

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 31/01/2019 17:24

Is your DP your DS’s father? I think that makes a big difference here and if he isn’t, how long has he been in your DS’s life and do you live together etc?

Sirzy · 31/01/2019 17:25

Well he is probably just as worried?

I can understand him being a bit annoyed at being the last to be told. And if there where at least 3 adults with you then why would you need your ex to help?

It’s a shit time for you all. Don’t let things get blown up

Shallishanti123 · 31/01/2019 17:29

You probably should have called for medical advice first then called your partner straight after.

MakeItAmazing · 31/01/2019 17:29

You've done nothing wrong at all. You justifiably rang your mother first for instant advice. To say otherwise is to pander to the tantrum your partner was having. Middle finger ffs. What a twat. Clearly he thinks more about being the big dick I am than what is easier and best for you as the mother of his sick child.

None of what he did sounds like it came from a place of being worried Hmm.

Drogosnextwife · 31/01/2019 17:29

The who yo call first think is pathetic of him, you were seeking medical advice in a hurry.

As for the "male friend" giving you a lift I have to agree with your dp, there are other options. I would have probably gave dp the middle finger if he announce his ex girlfriend was giving him a lift home. Sorry OP, I am very much the jealous type. Hope your ds is ok.

GrandmaSharksDentures · 31/01/2019 17:33

Just out of interest, what did you think A&E reception were going to do?

Serialweightwatcher · 31/01/2019 17:33

He's probably scared and upset too and maybe feels like he was the last to be considered, whatever your reasons - I doubt the ex being around by accident would have helped his mood either though, so I can understand that - hope your son is good as new soon Flowers

headinhands · 31/01/2019 17:36

Sticking his finger up at you says a lot about him. I couldn't imagine my dp doing that or anyone worth being in a relationship with

PanamaPattie · 31/01/2019 17:40

Ok.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.