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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up of how my DP wears clothes

204 replies

Foxandthehound · 27/01/2019 14:08

I can hear how much of a twat I sound in the title, but bear with me.

He is a size 8 shoe, he does have wide feet but definitely not unusually wide. He has to wear size 12 shoes apparently, it's obvious these shoes are far too big for him. He doesnt tie his shoes, instead he tucks them in his shoes. His feet are always slipping out and they even often fall off his feet completely. He tucks his jogging bottoms into his shoes.

He's a tracksuit guy, won't ever see him in trousers or a pair of jeans. This alone doesn't bother me, it's the fact he says he has to buy them 2 sizes bigger or he won't wear them. They HANG off him. It's clear they are far too big. He also apparently can't sit down without having to pull his trousers down under his bum so he's only sitting on his boxer shorts. He does this in public and he gets quite a bit of stares.

I have bought him clothes his actual size, and he just donates them to charity or exchange them for a bigger size.

Am I being too picky/controlling and an utter twat, or am I not the only one that can see the problem with this? I haven't gone on and on to him because a) I can't force him to wear clothing true to his size and b) I do think I sound quite controlling Blush.

OP posts:
thewayoftheplatypus · 27/01/2019 14:13

I would hate this, it would drive me crazy! But I hate sloppy dressing as a rule.

However it does sound like sensory processing disorder? My friends son has this, and is exactly the same: can’t bear to wear clothes at all most the time and when he does they are very loose and baggy. It could be that it’s not his fault but YANBU to not like the way it looks!

TheFifthKey · 27/01/2019 14:14

Well, it’s clearly not controlling not to want a partner who pulls his trousers down to sit down. I can honestly say I’ve never seen this, or someone walking around in shoes four sizes too big for them. This sounds like very odd behaviour l.

NoPhelange · 27/01/2019 14:15

He wears shoes 4 sizes too big and s his pants down in public before sitting down? Jesus Christ. I just couldn't. I am a size 6 shoe, DP is a 10, I can't even take a step in one of his shoes without my foot leaving it behind on the floor. Does he realise how ridiculous he must look?

WrongKindOfFace · 27/01/2019 14:16

No, it’s not controlling to not want your partner to show his arse in public.

Ocicat · 27/01/2019 14:17

I couldn’t live with that, too embarrassing.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 27/01/2019 14:17

Is he employed???

Does he dress like that for work?

frogsbreath · 27/01/2019 14:17

He's a size 8 shoe wearing a 12?! That's insane. My husband is a size 12 shoe and they are boats, he must look like an absolute fool shuffling about in them.

Clothes hanging off him too? He must look like a child in daddies clothes. I just can't think why he wants to look so daft.

Foxandthehound · 27/01/2019 14:17

I don't think he cares how he looks. His father constantly tells him (his father isn't a very nice man imo) and it doesn't seem to phase him. I have wondered whether it's a sensory thing tbh.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 27/01/2019 14:18

Is he a clown? This is seriously strange behaviour.

BertieBotts · 27/01/2019 14:19

I think it is a bit controlling to expect to have a say in what he wears. But it's not controlling to find it unattractive and tell him so - I would probably suggest to try and say so in a tactful way, though!

frogsbreath · 27/01/2019 14:19

If he has a sensory problem with clothes being too tight then fair enough but it's not safe to walk about in shoes four sizes too big, he'll trip over all the time!

AornisHades · 27/01/2019 14:19

How did you get to the DP stage if he's always been like that?

WrongKindOfFace · 27/01/2019 14:19

Is he employed???

Does he dress like that for work?

I was wondering that. Does his boss spend all day saying, ‘Paul, put your arse away.’?

Guineapiglet345 · 27/01/2019 14:20

He must have a fantastic personality because I can’t see how you we’re attracted to him in the first place, he sounds a bit unhinges to me Hmm

Thankssomuch · 27/01/2019 14:20

He sounds as if he some serious issues, but I couldn’t/wouldn’t be out with someone who presents like that.

Deepbloos · 27/01/2019 14:20

He pulls his trousers down to sit? Why?? I don't get it.

Either way, it's bloody strange Confused

I couldn't tolerate such odd behaviour OP. YANBU!

Foxandthehound · 27/01/2019 14:20

He is employed. After an hour argument I have managed to convince him to wear trousers 1 size bigger and shoes 2 sizes bigger for work. We've met in the middle. I know that still sounds ridiculous, but compared to how he usually looks its a massive improvement.

He is a waiter at a hotel. (As far as I'm told) he's received no complaints at work because of his appearance

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 27/01/2019 14:21

What does he wear to work? Surely his employer doesn't allow him to pull his trousers down, or to be slopping around in dangerously loose shoes.

Oysterbabe · 27/01/2019 14:21

Hard to see how he made it past date 1.

BertieBotts · 27/01/2019 14:22

It's about owning your own behaviour/reaction, not expecting him to change his.

He's free to wear whatever clothing he likes, but you're free to say no thanks, it's off-putting. And if you give him the information that you find it off-putting then he is OK to choose to change in response or not.

Loopytiles · 27/01/2019 14:22

What does he do for workwear?!

Does this affect your sexual attraction for him?

Foxandthehound · 27/01/2019 14:23

He said the pulling the trousers down thing means his trousers isn't pulled tight against his balls while he sits. I didn't object to this because I don't have a set so wouldn't know! But i did find what he said ludicrous, knowing that no other men do this (as far as I know) and his trousers are far too baggy anyway!

OP posts:
firstevernamechange · 27/01/2019 14:23

Tbf I think sensory issues are a strong possibility.

As embarrassing as I would find it, I would proceed very carefully.

JohnnyKarate · 27/01/2019 14:23

He pulls his trousers down to sit down??? 😂😂😂 Im actually laughing out loud.

Just picturing you going out for food and him dropping his joggers before taking his seat 😂.

Thankssomuch · 27/01/2019 14:25

Sorry, but he’s clearly insane.

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