To be fed up of how my DP wears clothes

[Foxandthehound]

I can hear how much of a twat I sound in the title, but bear with me.

He is a size 8 shoe, he does have wide feet but definitely not unusually wide. He has to wear size 12 shoes apparently, it's obvious these shoes are far too big for him. He doesnt tie his shoes, instead he tucks them in his shoes. His feet are always slipping out and they even often fall off his feet completely. He tucks his jogging bottoms into his shoes.

He's a tracksuit guy, won't ever see him in trousers or a pair of jeans. This alone doesn't bother me, it's the fact he says he has to buy them 2 sizes bigger or he won't wear them. They HANG off him. It's clear they are far too big. He also apparently can't sit down without having to pull his trousers down under his bum so he's only sitting on his boxer shorts. He does this in public and he gets quite a bit of stares.

I have bought him clothes his actual size, and he just donates them to charity or exchange them for a bigger size.

Am I being too picky/controlling and an utter twat, or am I not the only one that can see the problem with this? I haven't gone on and on to him because a) I can't force him to wear clothing true to his size and b) I do think I sound quite controlling .

I’d just yank his trousers down at every opportunity (in private obvs)... Dh and I do this all the time when we’re wearing pj bottoms.

Thankfully dh never wears tracksuit bottoms.... grown up baby clothes we call them

Why on earth wouldn’t you just buy wide fit shoes?

I really hope this isn’t actually true after all.

A few people have questioned my attraction to him and why and how I made it past 1st date.

He is a genuinely lovely guy. The funniest guy, hard worker, brilliant family man. I knew him for a couple of years as friends before anything happened. We have a 17 month old dd and we've been together for 2 years and a few months. I got pregnant from a contraceptive error 3 months into the relationship .

I love our relationship, I don't exactly want to dump him because of his appearance!

It does sound as if he has major sensory problems. I can sympathise as I wear clothes a size up.

Have a Google for sensory processing clothes for adults. He should be able to find bottoms that fit him and accommodate his nuts.

Why are you with this weirdo? Raise the bar and run for your life.

Has he tried 'barefoot' shoes that are more foot shaped, wider across the toes? If I compare my foot to the insole of a regular shoe then they do not fit, the 'right' size is uncomfortable.

@WrongKindOfFace Hand on heart this 100% true. He says wide fit shoes are too narrow still. I am wondering whether he has a sensory disorder, so although they may fit perfectly he will still have to have looser shoes

Just please, please don't take him to school events when he dresses like that and pulls his trousers down to sit.

When your kid is in school, they really have enough to worry about without being embarrassed beyond belief by their dad walking around with his shoes falling off, his clothes swinging around and his trousers pulled down to his thighs when he sits... Just please don't allow that to happen.

He’s certainly got some kind of disorder. So what would he wear to a wedding, for example?

What attracted you to him? did he dress so ridiculous when you first met him?

The waistband of his trousers should be nowhere near his balls. They should be near his waist

Can't see what attracted you to him op.

Does he really pull his trousers down before he sits down? Even in public places? I would find that weird and creepy if i saw him do this.

I agree with chrisjen absolutely do not inflict this on the children. They’ll be bullied within an inch of their lives.

Come on, OP, you are expecting us believe that he is a waiter in a hotel who never wears trouser?

A colleague told me about her husband and how he only wears tracksuit bottoms and t shirts - even to special occasions and she wasn't embarrassed of him as he's always clean and he literally doesn't conform or care what other people think. I personally think that's an admirable trait.

However this, this is on a whole other level. Pulling your trousers down in public is just wrong and I'm very surprised nobody has raised it before. He needs to see a doctor to be referred, as maybe it is a sensory issue, his reasoning for it sounds like it's all made up in his head. If he's a waiter in a hotel I imagine they'd surely have had some comments around his dress. You can't wear tracksuit bottoms to wait tables in a hotel surely?!

Is he dysmorphic ie genuinely believing his feet or body are bigger?

He said the pulling the trousers down thing means his trousers isn't pulled tight against his balls while he sits. I didn't object to this because I don't have a set so wouldn't know!

But you had to have noticed that other men don't do this. They all have testicles and manage without pulling their pants down in public.

My daughter has sensory issues - she wears shoes a size too big. She screams they are tight if you put her in wrong size. She likes to be amble to move her toes freely.i king of get where she is coming from as I don't like my feet constructed however 4 sizes is a bit much......

And isn't he a health and safety risk carrying plates of hot food In and out of kitchens with clown shoes flapping on his feet.
And are you saying also that he wears shoes and trackies, not trainers?

What a catch! A man who shuffles around in shoes 4 sizes too big, only ever wears tracksuits and pulls his trousers down in public to sit on his underwear! Amazing specimen of a human being.

Never mind "wouldn't have got past first date". Wouldn't have even GOT a first date.

The only people I’ve ever known with such a stubbornly odd approach to dressing are young adults I worked with who had a variety of disorders. Those with sensory processing issues tended to have clothes that were far too big. One young person would take their shoes and socks off the second they were inside, no matter where. There was one other young person who had issues around control and absolutely resisted wearing anything that was expected of them.

he maybe needs something like those Hotter shoes, or shoes you can get that are made of softer materials so they don;t feel as if they are constricting his feet. i think the pulling his trousers down over his pants to sit down is odd and frankly unacceptable in public.
But I do understand about wanting to wear loose clothes - I wear bigger clothes than I need because I don't want to feel constricted - so a size larger underwear and trousers for me - but I don't expose myself and I do wear the correct size shoes - otherwise I'd fall over.

I do have fairly severe claustrohobia and I can't bear the feeling of anything trapping or restricting me (I could never wear a coat you pull over you head, unless it was very baggy, as I'd feel I couldn't get out of it quick enough if I needed to.)

Come on, OP, you are expecting us believe that he is a waiter in a hotel who never wears trouser?

Yeah, I’m finding it hard to picture a waiter in a hotel who is shuffling around in oversized shoes and voluminous trackie bottoms

What type of hotel does he work in? Are you writing a comedy sketch show? Two soups ... Is it on the trolley? ... Don’t mention the war ...

Could he try some 'barefoot' shoes? Vivo Barefoot make shoes with really large toe boxes to mimic being barefoot which might help him. 4 sizes too big is a massive trip hazard.

The pulling the trousers down to sit down thing is very weird.

"Insane", "Wierdo", "What a catch"...what the fuck is wrong with some of you?
I don't pretend to know what is going on, sensory issues possibly...but the insensitivity and judgement on this thread boils my piss...