To be fed up of how my DP wears clothes

[Foxandthehound]

I can hear how much of a twat I sound in the title, but bear with me.

He is a size 8 shoe, he does have wide feet but definitely not unusually wide. He has to wear size 12 shoes apparently, it's obvious these shoes are far too big for him. He doesnt tie his shoes, instead he tucks them in his shoes. His feet are always slipping out and they even often fall off his feet completely. He tucks his jogging bottoms into his shoes.

He's a tracksuit guy, won't ever see him in trousers or a pair of jeans. This alone doesn't bother me, it's the fact he says he has to buy them 2 sizes bigger or he won't wear them. They HANG off him. It's clear they are far too big. He also apparently can't sit down without having to pull his trousers down under his bum so he's only sitting on his boxer shorts. He does this in public and he gets quite a bit of stares.

I have bought him clothes his actual size, and he just donates them to charity or exchange them for a bigger size.

Am I being too picky/controlling and an utter twat, or am I not the only one that can see the problem with this? I haven't gone on and on to him because a) I can't force him to wear clothing true to his size and b) I do think I sound quite controlling .

Why did you post OP? Yes we all agree this is beyond odd. Many of us could not put up with it, you want to. Your query was are being an utter twat? I can't see why you had to ask - of course not.

Yeah this would annoy me a lot and seems very strange behavior. DH likes his clothes quite loose, but not to quite this extreme!

Have you asked him to be honest with you why he wears clothes and shoes that are far too big? There must be another reason that he's not telling you?

I think if you agreed to a second date knowing his dress taste, you can't really complain now. It's odd, but some are odd.

Could he try Harem pants like these www.amazon.co.uk/Mirecoo-Cotton-Jogging-Sports-Trousers/dp/B074YJ9T5B/ref=sr_1_5/261-1772968-8168163?s=clothing&keywords=mens+harem+pants&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1548602617&sr=1-5 so he doesn’t have to pull them down?

It's a.sensory thing.

My ASD pair are very similar.

Ok, look at seamless socks, under wear etc.

My ds has taken to wearing ladies yoga pants from Asda as they just look like smart, black trousers but are a.swimming costume type material. (( I know what I mean )) and so bloody comfy.

giant knicker sized boxers that he dangles down the side of.

Sorry, but that made me laugh.

OP, you'll have to try to persuade him to conform a bit more before his child goes to school, or there will be bullying :(

Would silk underwear help? I'd be trying all sorts of things like that. If you love him and are happy with him it would be a shame if you eventually found his quirks were impacting on the relationship he has with you and his child.

EvaHarknessRose
Could he try Harem pants like these

Holy shit, do people really appear in public in these things? /
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071CTDPF8/ref=sspa_dk_hqp_detail_aax_0?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why do I have an image of a short, overweight clown that's man spreading everywhere he sits?

Sounds just like a grown up version of my niece. She has SPD. She has had many many meltdowns over clothes touching her etc.. she cant wear pj bottoms because it makes her "bum cheeks squish together when she lies down".. does he have any issues with temperatures?

Oh please don’t suggest bloody awful harem pants. He’ll look as though he’s shit himself.

I think you might need to start by getting him to concede that his behaviour is unusual. He needs to look around at other seated males (which as he’s a waiter shouldn’t be hard) and acknowledge that they all have their whole arses inside well-fitting trousers.
You probably can’t (& shouldn’t) expect him to change his behaviour at home but he needs to see that, when he is out of house, he can’t actually carry on like that. It’s inappropriate and embarrassing.

If he will accept that the feelings of restriction he experiences are not typical, he will probably be more open to discussion about how to behave more appropriately in public. You need to concede to him that you understand his discomfort is real. You care about it and you want to help but the solution has to be in finding things he will wear in a more usual way. Bamboo clothing can be very comfortable.

He's very overweight which maybe why clothes feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you could suggest/help him to lose weight. This might help either clothes issue.

When you met him i assume he wasn't like this. It does seem as if something sparked this . I can't help thinking he needs counselling/therapy of some kind.

At 5ft 5 he’s kind of obese no?

That may be why he finds clothes uncomfortable.

Xpost.. yep

It sounds like he is obese and if he lost weight would be alot more comfortable

Sounds like he's generally uncomfortable in himself, gravitating towards big, baggy clothes because he's overweight.

X-post with lots of others!

Those harem pants 😳😳😳

I’m now debating whether I’d rather go out with someone who pulled their trousers down at the table or someone dressed up as Naboon from Mighty Boosh.

Being overweight won't impact on his ability to wear shoes.

It's a.sensory issue, the.good news is there is help out there to.develop coping strategies etc.

It took a hours argument for him to agree to wear appropriate clothing to work but why are you arguing with him about what he wears for work?
Surely he knows what is/isn’t appropriate in his work environment and if he chooses to wear inappropriate sized clothes for work then his boss will deal with it. It seems a waste of your time/energy arguing and ‘compromising’ with him.

In terms of you being fed up and unhappy about it, most people would feel the same. Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with in a relationship.

He is short and overweight, maybe he doesn't wish to reveal his physique so wears over sized clothes?

However something is wrong. He might be lovely, but when you first saw him pull his trousers down to sit down, or walking about in trainers four sizes too big for him, with his joggers tucked into them, did you not find it very odd then?

I do think it needs to be addressed, you have a kid who will grow up noticing and it's possible she may get bullied by other kids if they witness his appearance and pant pulling down behaviour.

Being overweight won't impact on his ability to wear shoes.

People can get quite fat feet, and also fluid retention.