To think that there's a time and a place to approach celebs

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I've just been reading one of those threads where people talk about nice and not so nice celebs they've met.

While some celebrities have clearly been very rude, telling people to fuck off or giving them the two fingers or reducing staff to tears, there are lots of posts where I really would like to hear the celeb's version of events.

I have a friend who's quite a well known actress. She has been approached for selfies and photographs while queueing for the loo in a restaurant, waiting in a Drs waiting room with her fractious toddler and asleep on a long train journey (yes, actually woken up by a fan wanting a photograph}.

AIBU to think some selfie and autograph hunters probably bring any unfriendly reaction on themselves by their rudeness and that there are definitely times and situations where it is totally inappropriate or just thoughtless and inconsiderate to bother them?

YANBU. I read some of those posts and go hmmmm.

It is often obvious, reading between the lines, that the celeb was understandably irritated at being approached by fans when trying to just go about some private business. People will say 'oh but it only takes a second......' not bothering to add up the many many people demanding selfies and autographs while some famous person is trying to enjoy a family meal or whatever.

I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. Lots of people are inconsiderate nuisances, in the way they conduct themselves generally, not just towards celebrities.

The celebrities can't expect to have it all ways - it's a downside of being famous that they'll attract the attentions of inconsiderate nuisances more than non-famous people will. If they want to go about their lives without this kind of thing, they should stop appearing on TV/social media.

Google why sia recently decided to shy away from fame. Still very successful in her own right.

A lot of people become famous because they happen to be exceptionally good at something that they are really passionate about - acting, singing, dancing, writing. The fame is more a by product of their career than something they actively chase, and I think they're entitled to a level of consideration when going about their ordinary day.

I agree the famous for being famous brigade, who constantly advertise themselves all over social media can't really start picking and choosing when they want attention and when they don't.

But I do think genuinely famous and talented people shouldn't be constantly bombarded with requests for photographs and autographs, and then slagged off on sites like this if they refuse.

YANBU. We were at a family attraction at Christmas a couple of years ago when we spotted a well known TV actor. My DM was super excited and wanted to greet him and get a photo with him. I told her to back off, he was with his children and it just wasn’t fair.

YANBU at all

some people just have no manners and no respect for anyone. They are tragic.

YANU. I would only approach a celebrity if it was an event and they were ‘working’. Other than that I strongly believe that they are just people living their lives. No better than me no worse than me but deserving of privacy.

We were at a theme park and had paid to queue jump (can’t remember what it’s called!) We were standing by the gate when I looked up and saw a very famous American actor. With his kids. He looked a bit worried. I smiled at them then carried on chatting to my kids. He looked so relieved.
He was having a family day out. Not walking the red carpet. It doesn’t matter that I admire him as an actor and think he’s fab. He’s not doing his job at that time. He’s being a dad.

Yanbu. I cringed so much when a tittering fawning woman asked James Nesbitt to give her an autograph, when he was sitting having lunch with his daughters in a cafe in the area where he lives. Ffs!

There's someone very famous who goes to one of the playground where I take my kids. Everybody seems really respectful, so I am guessing that's why that person comes often. At least people should respect the kids!

The fame is more a by product of their career than something they actively chase

Acting, singing, dancing and writing can all be done away from any kind of broadcasting screen, if those are things someone is passionate about and wants to do, without the by-product of fame.

There's no real need for anyone to know what a writer or singer looks like. Dancing and acting are visual arts, but don't have to be performed on broadcast media. There aren't many recognised-in-the-street actors and singers who have only ever performed live on stage.

@dancinginthehall has pretty much nailed it on the head.

I agree, although I think to an extent it depends how much the individual celeb courts the media.

If they just do their job, eg acting/singing, and maybe a few interviews about their job, I really feel for them if they then get hassled in public. The degree of ownership that some people feel over celebs, just because they watched them act in something, is crazy.

If they choose to up their "presence" with a very personal public instagram, lots of interviews about their love life, family life, photoshoots at home, etc (all of which they will be cashing in on) then I kind of think they've chosen to court the public and cash in on the attention and attention in public is all just part of the job.

If they are a "personality" celeb then quite honestly I don't give a toss, it's entirely their own making.

I forgot about eating in a restaurant and seeing James Nesbitt. Made my evening!
I certainly didn’t speak to him or approach him.

@ScreamingValenta talking clart

Acting, singing, dancing and writing can all be done away from any kind of broadcasting screen, if those are things someone is passionate about and wants to do, without the by-product of fame.

No they really can't. If someone wants to do movies and earn a living from it it's going to be impossible not to be famous. Likewise if you want to sing for a live audience and have the songs you write listened to by as many people as possible people will have to know who you are. Some people court fame more than others though.

I've googled 'clart' and I'm none the wiser!

If you wouldn't expect your doctor/hairdresser/child's teacher/other professional to be 'on duty' when you encounter them away from their workplace, outside working hours, you shouldn't expect it of an actor or singer or writer or sportsperson either, imo.

Most people in the creative/entertainment industries will have a contractual obligation to undertake a number of public appearances to promote their work. Or they'll do fan conventions, or promote good causes. Then they should be on their best behaviour.

But when shopping in the supermarket, or having a quiet meal with friends, they should be left alone. It's especially not on to bother them if they are with their children. The children didn't ask to have a famous parent.

I really don't agree screamingvalentia. It is very difficult to be a successful actress, for instance, and really achieve your potential if you're not performing at a pretty high level. Likewise, nowadays writers are put under a lot of pressure by publishers to do interviews etc.

My DP works in an industry with well known people (he is behind the scenes). He says people are at times rude and usually feel that it is their right to have a photo or autograph. Like the person is public property.

why sia recently decided to shy away from fame

She'd do well to be recognised at all with that hair do! (which was, I presume, the point of it)

Anyone remember Magenta Devine and her ever-present sunglasses?

If they are a "personality" celeb then quite honestly I don't give a toss, it's entirely their own making.

Agreed, although I wouldn't be interested in meeting them anyway.

If someone wants to do movies and earn a living from it it's going to be impossible not to be famous

Yes, so they go into movies making that choice to (potentially) become famous; in return for a financial reward, rather than choosing to act on stage for less money, or go into accountancy and do am dram at the weekend.

YANBU. When I was a teenager I was in a cafe in central London with my parents and there was a very famous Hollywood actor in there with his children. He had bodyguards to stop people approaching him, but that didn't stop everyone staring, giggling, pointing etc. In the end they left.

But Screaming people want to make a living out of something they enjoy and are very very talented at. That doesn't mean they should become public property.

Totally different with the 'I want to be famous' type who are constantly seeking recognition and attention but then expect to be left alone when it suits them.

I used to live in a place with lots of celebs. We would recognize someone at every restaurant or grocery run. Mostly very minor people, but the occasional big star. We never once approached or did anything more than a neighborly hi because this was clearly not ‘work’ time.