To think that there's a time and a place to approach celebs

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I've just been reading one of those threads where people talk about nice and not so nice celebs they've met.

While some celebrities have clearly been very rude, telling people to fuck off or giving them the two fingers or reducing staff to tears, there are lots of posts where I really would like to hear the celeb's version of events.

I have a friend who's quite a well known actress. She has been approached for selfies and photographs while queueing for the loo in a restaurant, waiting in a Drs waiting room with her fractious toddler and asleep on a long train journey (yes, actually woken up by a fan wanting a photograph}.

AIBU to think some selfie and autograph hunters probably bring any unfriendly reaction on themselves by their rudeness and that there are definitely times and situations where it is totally inappropriate or just thoughtless and inconsiderate to bother them?

I agree with you - time and place.
I've seen and met various celebrities through the years but have always made it policy to never speak to them while they're on holiday or simply "not working". They don't want to be bugged in their down-time!
I was in a very long queue for the Uffizi gallery in Florence, standing right behind Ian Holm and Penelope Wilton (while they were still married) - didn't say a word to them.

But when I saw Lenny Henry filming an ad for Comic Relief - well, that was fair game, so my friend and I waited for him to take a break from filming and got his autograph.

Dawn French at a restaurant after the show she was in had finished for the night? no.

I think the only time I did bugger it up was by accident - I was at a conference thing, and there was a lady I recognised so I smiled and said hello to her - she looked confused, and it was only then that I realised where I knew her from - she was off DIY SOS!! I went very red and apologised profusely, but she was lovely about it and we had a nice chat.

Without going into too much detail I married into a family where one member was a fairly well recognised actor. It took me a while to realise that he was well known because I didn't recognise him at all when I first met him (I was a teen) and it also took me a while to get used to people approaching and asking for autographs etc because largely they were SO rude and entitled. I lost count of the interruptions, particularly during meals. He was once recognised when we were on holiday overseas but the people were drunk and seemed unable to separate the person from one particular (unpleasant) character. I don't think it's OK, having seen the other side of the coin. To be fair to him, whatever the circumstances, he was kind and chatty even when inconvenient. I do understand that it's part and parcel of being in the public eye but I do think people should be left alone when quite obviously out with their family and living their "private" life.

On the other hand...I recently said hello to somebody in a public place because I thought I knew her...then it dawned on me seconds too late that she was an actress. Mortified

I used to work on the kids shoe section in a very ‘luxury’ department store. Lots of footballers and over celebs often shopped there. I remember once serving a customer who was complaining because they’d seen a certain footballer also shopping there with his kid, who had refused a selfie when asked, citing he was with his child. I remember thinking how entitled this woman sounded, this guy clearly should prioriitise his for year old kid who he was buying shoes for over her. Kept my mouth shut though as I was working.

Screaming I think when people are young and following their interests they're not really thinking about what it might be like to be famous and how that might not be so pleasant.

If they're into, say, acting, they just pursue it because they enjoy it and because it's fun and they're good at it. Fame is so rare, actors don't expect to become famous. Most of them are out of work for long periods of time or working smaller TV jobs or in theatres. They're generally driven by accepting interesting roles and / or a need to pay the bills. I've known a lot of actors and not one of them was thinking 'oh I'd better be careful because I might one day become famous and then have less privacy'.

So it's not really a choice that actors make when they set out. Fame is something that happens to a minority of actors not a majority.

Any young person starting out in any career will usually be fairly blind to the pitfalls of that career. It's only through experience that people learn. I'm sure there are lots of famous people who wish they could go back and take another path now they've experienced it.

Screaming do you have any idea how difficult it would be for a truly gifted creative person to squash that instinct and spend all day every day working at something else.

Yes, many creative people have no option but to take non creative jobs in order to pay the bills, but it's not the life they wish for or one that makes them really happy. Why should they pass up the chance to work at something they're very very good at and would get huge satisfaction from because of the attitude of rude and self entitled members of the public who go around collecting autographs and selfies?

A celebrity being interrupted by a fan is an event they'll likely brush off pretty quickly, but to the fan it's likely to be a chance of a lifetime event they'll remember forever. Having said that it must be a pain to go out and be pestered. Hmmn, I'm on the fence with this one.

"A celebrity being interrupted by a fan is an event they'll likely brush off pretty quickly, "

Not if they're interrupted by fans everytime they go to the supermarket, take their children to the park, go out for a meal with their spouse, nip out to the ATM to get some cash etc etc etc. It must become an ongoing hassle and PITA, not to mention seriously upsetting for their partner and children.

I was once in the same restaurant as David Attenborough (on who I have something of a crush). I wanted to thank him for a lifetime of amazingness and did so by leaving him in peace to enjoy his meal.

Marta JKR seems to have a very active social media presence; and the HP franchise continues to be milked with this spin-off and that spin-off long after the last book was finished, so JKR doesn't seem to be trying to avoid publicity.

Oddly I was watching something with Kem in it from Love Island and he said he always thought he'd love being asked for pictures and autographs and he's found the reality of it quite different, intrusive and stressful.

It was also interesting hearing both James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe talk about it on Norton.

Dan acknowledged that at times people have been EXTREMELY rude and he's been polite in response and posed for the pic anyway because he doesn't want there to be stories about how he refused a pic or was rude even though they were rude to him

do you have any idea how difficult it would be for a truly gifted creative person to squash that instinct and spend all day every day working at something else.

Yes, many creative people have no option but to take non creative jobs in order to pay the bills, but it's not the life they wish for or one that makes them really happy.

So they can make the choice between doing something non-creative and having to squash their instincts, or doing the creative work - with its associated downsides.

By saying they should be free to pursue a career in films (say) but with none of the downsides of being famous, is saying they should be free to do a job that doesn't exist.

I could say I'd like to do my job, but at a salary of £5M - I can't, because that job doesn't exist; and nor does the job of being a famous actor without being subject to the downsides of fame.

I saw a poster on another website post on a celeb thread that Pierce Brosnan isn't very nice because once, when he saw him praying in a church and asked for an autograph PB refused.

The poster was genuinely indignant and couldn't see how rude and intrusive he'd been.

The more you post Screaming the more convinced I am that you really don't have any idea of what it is to be creative, or even any real respect for the wonderful work of gifted actors, musicians, writers etc.

I had a conversation the other day about this. I saw a famous actress walking out of a supermarket with a laden trolley who I recognised from the telly. I didn't approach her as I felt it was her private time and it would be rude. My sister insisted that she would have said hello. But then I'm quiet and naturally introverted and my sister is louder and less sensitive. We both think we're right.

greenlightredlight I have respect for creative workers, but not as much respect as I have for people who do unpleasant and difficult, but essential, life-saving work.

I don't believe celebrities are surrounded by some kind of magical aura which means they have a right to do their job exactly on their own terms.

Sorry Screaming but I agree that you seem to have little understanding of what drives a creative person. It is rarely fame and fortune and usually a desire to produce the best work they possibly can. They don't ask to do a job exactly on their own terms, they ask for their private life away from their job to be respected.

I say 'creative' as opposed to 'celebrity' as many celebrities are just besotted with the idea of fame and don't really care what they do to achieve it.

Acting, singing, dancing and writing can all be done away from any kind of broadcasting screen, if those are things someone is passionate about and wants to do, without the by-product of fame.

Total bollocks. I've done a fair bit of stage acting. Not at all famous. But even I've been stopped in the street or at some everyday place and had people come up to say they saw me in such and such and how much they enjoyed it.

I was more of the 'its part of the job' school of thought until I saw a bit of it for myself. A friend of a friend is in a relatively well known band (not super famous, but enough to sometimes be recognised). Spending time with them recently I was amazed how entitled people can be - to the point of being intimidating. We all had small children/a baby with us but it mad no difference. I'd hate to be famous nowadays!

I used to be airline cabin crew and met a fair few celebrities and royals. I treated them like everybody else. Addressed them by name, polite and professional. If they wanted to chat to me of course I would chat but I would never have approached them to ask for an autograph etc.

One flight attendant was dismissed because she took a photograph of a sleeping David Beckham and posted it on social media!

JKR doesn't seem to be trying to avoid publicity.

She is probably contractually obliged to promote her work - certainly would have been when she started out. That's her professional life. But she does her best to keep her children out of the public eye, because she, and they, are entitled to a private family life.

Re. the Judi Dench story above, I think it's quite well known that Dame Judi is quite visually impaired now, so if that happened recently, it's even more intrusive and innappropriate.

Though I recall Sir Alec Guinness telling a story of how when the first Star Wars film was a big hit, he was being admitted to hospital as an emergency - I forget why - and someone shoved a pen and paper under his nose and asked for an autograph while he was on a trolley or in a wheelchair.

Roughly 4 years ago I literally bumped into Vanessa Feltz as I left my midwives appointment at UCH. She was going in after me and smiled at me as she walked in. I was gobsmacked and wanted to ask "what are you doing here??" but obviously didn't I read later in a newspaper that she had a pregnant daughter so assume she was there supporting her!

I don't believe celebrities are surrounded by some kind of magical aura which means they have a right to do their job exactly on their own terms.

Very few people are in that position. Even if you have a job you absolutely love, the chances are that it has its downsides in terms of the routine, boring bits, or the bits where you have to do the accounts and the tax return, or where you have to carry on even when you don't feel well. However, we wouldn't say it's absolutely fine for people in a client facing role to have to put up with bad behaviour from arseholes purely because the job unavoidably involves occasionally dealing with clients. In the same way, famous people shouldn't have to put up with inconsiderate arseholes. At least the person with a client-facing job probably only has to deal with it during working hours; the unfortunate celebrity has to deal with it at any and every time of day, and whenever and wherever they and their family are.

@ScreamingValenta
What it means is you’re talking shite... and continuing to do so in the entire thread.

My morning commute is usually peppered by celebrities. It’s 1st Class so often other passengers are too embarrassed to approach them, but they talk loudly at each other trying to get their attention. It makes me want to puke.