To think that there's a time and a place to approach celebs

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I've just been reading one of those threads where people talk about nice and not so nice celebs they've met.

While some celebrities have clearly been very rude, telling people to fuck off or giving them the two fingers or reducing staff to tears, there are lots of posts where I really would like to hear the celeb's version of events.

I have a friend who's quite a well known actress. She has been approached for selfies and photographs while queueing for the loo in a restaurant, waiting in a Drs waiting room with her fractious toddler and asleep on a long train journey (yes, actually woken up by a fan wanting a photograph}.

AIBU to think some selfie and autograph hunters probably bring any unfriendly reaction on themselves by their rudeness and that there are definitely times and situations where it is totally inappropriate or just thoughtless and inconsiderate to bother them?

Thank you for your measured and interesting argument against my posts, overnightangel .

However, we wouldn't say it's absolutely fine for people in a client facing role to have to put up with bad behaviour from arseholes purely because the job unavoidably involves occasionally dealing with clients.

I am not saying that celebrities should have to put up with people being actively unpleasant - no one should be expected to do that, as you rightly say. But, it happens - we don't live in a perfect world. Any of these celebrities could choose to take a lower-profile job (or possibly even retire) - they have more choice in the matter than, say, a nurse or teacher who is suffering the same.

If they took themselves out of the public eye, in a couple of years, no one would remember them. In the case of a writer, they could start writing under a different name (without doing a big reveal afterwards).

Apologies as haven't read the whole thread.
I live and work in central (ish) London. I see famous people wandering about all the time. I get that you might not see many famous people if you live in a very remote area but the thought that I would approach a celebrity makes me cringe - imagine how it makes them feel!?
There's a restaurant in Soho that Bill Nighy eats in all the time. So do I. The idea that I would in any way intrude on his private time is just awful.
Made in Chelsea and Towie types are fair game, however. Though why you would want their autograph is beyond me.

I remember reading a really funny story about Rita Simons on here, a MNer stopped her to tell her that her skirt was in her knickers, and before she could tell her RS screamed at her :

"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SHOPPING WITH MY CHILD, GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY"

I've done a fair bit of stage acting. Not at all famous. But even I've been stopped in the street or at some everyday place and had people come up to say they saw me in such and such and how much they enjoyed it.

If you find that intolerable, I would say you're in the wrong job.

I live central-ish and tend to see 'celebs' jogging and walking about a lot.
I just leave them to it...

Although it always seems I walk past Helena Bonham-Carter when my children are playing up... she has given me sympathetic looks

It's almost as if (for some) people the fact they "see" someone on TV in their home every day somehow confuses their brain into believing they have a two way relationship and therefore "why is this person ignoring me? We ate dinner together last night.."

This is exactly it. It’s called a parasocial relationship and it explains a lot about why the public treat celebrities as they do.

Acting or whatever is a job and being famous is part & parcel of that job but the famous person is still a person and not public property regardless of what some people may think. When they are not working people should respect that and leave them alone. If they are promoting their new film or whatever then yes it's fine to approach them but only when they offer that option.

I see my doctor all the time in town but I don't go up to him and ask him to look at my sore ankle or whatever because that's rude & he's not working!

Seriously Valenta you sound as if you haven't a clue....

Put it this way Valenta if an accountant complained that every time he went to the local pub or restaurant with his wife he was pestered by people asking him for advice or to throw a quick eye over their accounts would you shrug and say 'well that's part of the job. Why don't you just go and work in a supermarket or become a taxi driver if you don't want to be pestered in the pub"?

I just don't like the snobby attitude around 'creatives', Lydia.

John Smith has been a teacher for 20 years - he's brilliant at it and mostly loves the job. He hates all the paperwork and sometimes thinks of quitting, but on balance the positives outweigh the negatives.

Jean Smith has been a nurse for 20 years - she's brilliant at it and mostly loves the job. She hates the long hours and tiring physical work, and sometimes thinks of quitting, but on balance the positives outweigh the negatives.

Jane Smith has been an actor for 20 years - she's brilliant at it and mostly loves the job. She hates being recognised in the street sometimes thinks of quitting - oh, no! That's terrible! Jane is so much more special and valuable than Jean or John because she's creative - she can't possibly be expected to put up with an aspect of her job she doesn't enjoy.

If you wouldn't expect your doctor/hairdresser/child's teacher/other professional to be 'on duty' when you encounter them away from their workplace

If only that were true! DH is a local councillor, and some of people think they can accost him anywhere, anytime for an opinion or a rant.

YANBU.

No one's being 'snobby'. You are the one saying that people who work in creative jobs aren't doing anything special and if they don't like the oppressive attention and intrusion they should just go off and do something else.

If anything, you are coming across as being quite dismissive of people who do creative work, and seem to consider it vastly inferior to what you obviously consider to be more 'worthy' jobs.

If you wouldn't expect your doctor/hairdresser/child's teacher/other professional to be 'on duty' when you encounter them away from their workplace

But you don't have to endure your doctor/hairdresser/child's teacher's image intruding into your orbit on the side of buses or on posters or on adverts popping up on your screen.

Oh, and you didn't address my question re the accountant in the pub.

Do you think it would be okay to approach a doctor, a teacher, an electrician or a plumber in a restaurant and pub, interrupt their evening out with their family, and start asking them for advice?

You are the one saying that people who work in creative jobs aren't doing anything special and if they don't like the oppressive attention and intrusion they should just go off and do something else.

But if anyone else was complaining about their job, what advice would you give? Probably to look at retraining for a different job! Why are you viewing 'creative' jobs so differently?

No one has to endure the work of an actor or writer if they don't like it. Presumably the people asking for autographs actually like these people's work.

Out of interest ScreamingValenta do you approach celebs anytime and anyplace you want, insisting they stop whatever they're doing to sign autographs and pose for selfies?

Screaming

I have heard doctors complain about people approaching them at parties or at social events looking for free advice. I don't think they should look for another job, I think those people should have some manners and respect for the doctor's free time.

I know of teachers who've had to go ex directory because of parents ringing them at home. I don't think they should find a different career. I think those parents are being thoughtless and annoying.

I think people in creative jobs should be accorded the same respect.

Do you think it would be okay to approach a doctor, a teacher, an electrician or a plumber in a restaurant and pub, interrupt their evening out with their family, and start asking them for advice?

No one is asking these people for advice, though, are they? They're complimenting them on their work.

I wouldn't see anything wrong in principle in saying to your doctor (if you bumped into them) 'thank you for the anti-biotics, they worked a treat' or a teacher 'I just wanted to say how Johnny's maths has come on since he's been in your class, thanks for being such a great teacher'.

They're not complimenting them on their work. They're demanding photographs and autographs.

Was it Jo Brand who said she was asked for an autograph by a doctor whilst in labour, or giving birth?

I think a lot of famous people are used to smiling/saying Hi back, whilst people are thinking “oh I know you from somewhere, where is it?” Then after sleb has returned the greeting, it clicks- , I don’t know him from school, he’s on Eastenders...funny way to live.

justfloatingpast Isn't it clear from my posts that I have very little time for celebrities? I've no interest at all in celebrity culture, selfies etc.

Oh and I think it would be really rude to go up to a doctor or teacher who's having a quiet meal with their spouse and start talking about how much your child's maths has come on or how their chest infection has cleared up.

There's such a thing as social skills.

Demanding photographs and autographs isn't 'asking for advice' though, is it?