To think that there's a time and a place to approach celebs

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I've just been reading one of those threads where people talk about nice and not so nice celebs they've met.

While some celebrities have clearly been very rude, telling people to fuck off or giving them the two fingers or reducing staff to tears, there are lots of posts where I really would like to hear the celeb's version of events.

I have a friend who's quite a well known actress. She has been approached for selfies and photographs while queueing for the loo in a restaurant, waiting in a Drs waiting room with her fractious toddler and asleep on a long train journey (yes, actually woken up by a fan wanting a photograph}.

AIBU to think some selfie and autograph hunters probably bring any unfriendly reaction on themselves by their rudeness and that there are definitely times and situations where it is totally inappropriate or just thoughtless and inconsiderate to bother them?

The way I see it, if I would randomly make small talk with a stranger no matter whether I knew who they were or not (I have been guilty of completely ignoring a very very famous actor from one of my favourite ever TV shows!) well then that's okay. If I'm leaving the theatre and see one of the performers/director etc then I will approach to thank them for their performance etc. Other than that though I don't get why anyone would start making crazy demands of people going about their lives. It's almost as if (for some) people the fact they "see" someone on TV in their home every day somehow confuses their brain into believing they have a two way relationship and therefore "why is this person ignoring me? We ate dinner together last night..".

dancinginthehall But acting and writing are difficult fields in which to have a career in anyway - they're highly sought after with lots of competition.

If people are unhappy with the potential by-product of fame, there are hundreds of alternative career options they could take much more easily where there's no chance of becoming famous. They've chosen to pursue a career where fame is a potential by-product - no one forced them into it.

YANBU - I think people are incredibly rude and entitled on this point. A friend shared a picture from her holiday on Facebook, it was her and Paul Hollywood who looked less than impressed, she'd clearly interrupted his meal to ask.

Well I disagree. If someone is a brilliant writer or actor they should be allowed to use their gift without being hassled everywhere they go. Why waste a wonderful talent that so many people can enjoy just because some rude people think they're entitled to snap their fingers and any famous person they meet will drop everything to have a photo taken with them?

Sdisagreeing with Screaming there, not the OP.

people want to make a living out of something they enjoy and are very very talented at

Most people, given the choice, would want to do a job they enjoy and are talented at, but you can't pick and choose which bits of the job you accept and which bits you don't. If fame is a by-product of the job, then that's tough luck.

So they should never be able to go out of the house without being mobbed.

So if someone is a successful and talented writer/actor/dancer they should accept that they have no right to peaceful time out with their children or partner or parents?

They should choose a career with a lower profile if they don't want to run the risk of attracting unwanted attention.

From my experience working with slebs...they moan about people asking for selfies but theyd moan (at us) even more if there was no one asking!

Keep asking to after gig or at parties I reckon..private dinner, shopping, queuing aren't a good idea. Not airports!

I smiled at Bernice from Emmerdale (I know, A-List right?) and she smiled back and said 'hi'. I think if I saw Tom Cruise I would do and probably expect the same.

I think they surely must expect to be recognised and in a sense it's the life they chose but, I think running up for selfies is not cool. If you really want to meet that person show up before a premiere or whatever. My niece REALLY wanted to meet Serena Williams so they went to Wimbledon and hung out outside the practice courts- SW even had her own Sharpie so she was clearly expecting it and happy to see people, she chatted with niece for about a minute. Had my niece pounced on her when she was out with her daughter then I'm sure SW's response wouldn't be so nice and my niece's memory of meeting her not so nice either.

NC for this. We happen to live very close to the royals, outside London. My children have been happily playing when George and Charlotte rock up. We just leave them to it, smile and treat them like anyone else. A relative of mine was often in the same place as them.

You could tell when George was at nursery as there were rangerovers positioned all around the roads nearby. Same as when they royals are all in, an awful lot of rangerovers are on the roads just parked up or driving around in convoy. If you ever see more than one big range rover around here driving together you can guarantee it's a royal outing.

I did see someone pap Kate once and the bodyguards had her out of there quick as a flash.

With the royals you obviously can't approach them as easily because of the guards, but in a local village they often walk freely and are said to enjoy being there because they know they are just treated like everyday people going for a walk!

They should choose a career with a lower profile if they don't want to run the risk of attracting unwanted attention.

OK, let's pretend we live in a world where instead of celebrities getting public attention, people in your profession got public attention. Everywhere you went, because you were - let's say, an accountant - you got people pestering you for selfies, asking you for autographs when you were having a meal in a restaurant, getting arsey with you in public, even if you were with your kids, because you didn't give them your undivided attention in what you had meant as family time.

Your thesis is: "Oh, you don't like the downsides of being an accountant - well, why not get another job?" - well, why should you have to, if you like your career as an accountant and are good at it? Perhaps the culture should change, not the jobs people have.

Many people who go into performing don't do it for 'fame' though. They don't even do it because they think they are going to earn millions (and most don't). They do it because they enjoy it, are passionate about it, because they love playing a role or because they love the creativity of creating work be it theatre or music. Often when they make it big they don't expect that, unless they've been through a manufactured band type scenario. Something being 'a hit' can be completely out of the blue.

Performers have a right to a private life. The vilification some people get for not stopping EVERY NIGHT at stage door post-show in the West End is disgraceful. I have a friend whose husband used to be incredibly well known and was renowned for not doing interviews etc (as he wasn't interested in 'fame', just wanted to make music). They used to get death threats. How is that ok?

Essentially it boils down to the same thing, people thinking that they have a right to someone's time and space.

Agree with you op. I find it bizarre how entitled people are re approaching celebrities.

I think it works both ways. Sometimes celebs can be diva-ish and rude and there’s no excuse for how they talk to people no matter who you are. Other times I agree people take the mick and approach them in inappropriate situations like when they’re eating, or with their kids.

Also, it might they’re just having an off day, we all have them. There’s no way of knowing if they’re having a terrible, stressful day moments before a well-meaning selfie requestor stops them and catches them at a time they’re not up to chatting. They’re still human after all.

Attention from the public is a trade off of their wealth and fame, and yes there is an element of ‘it’s part of the job’ but it can go too far. Being famous doesn’t mean you are public property. But if you are promoting a film/album part of that job means you need to play the game occasionally, and remember it’s those people who are buying your product.

But then it can’t be easy being followed by the press. Or getting off a 10 hour flight and being greeted with a stack of 20 photos for you to sign, not from fans but professional autograph hunters who then go on to flog the signed items on ebay for profit.

So there’s definitely a balance needed.

Annie I think that’s true at times about the brain getting confused. I made a twat of myself at legoland once as we saw this comedian who we watch on the tv. He’s the same background as dh, he had a show which included his mum etc etc and when I saw him I temporarily forgot that although we know who him and his mum are that he has no clue who we are, I was saying to dh oh we should go and say hello etc... then dh was like erm no.. the poor bloke looked over and I was like Hiiiii. He gave me such a weird look, and I was mortified in the end, but it was all my own fault for being such a div - I wouldn’t say the person was being rude. Obviously this would never happen with a Hollywood type star but something about this particular person made him feel so familiar. I have seen other tv people out and about and managed not to do anything like that!

ADropofReality I'm a shy person and I chose my job because it's low-profile and anonymous! If the world switched its focus and accountancy-type jobs suddenly attracted the selfie-seekers, I'd be auditioning for a part in EastEnders!

Seriously Screaming do you really think we should be deprived of the work of brilliant creatives because some idiots think they have a perfect right to hassle and pester these people when they're simply going about their private lives, trying not to be recognised?

YANBU at all in the context of the examples in the OP. I'd never do more than smile briefly at a sleb, even someone I really liked, if they were 'off duty' in the supermarket or whatever.

I will say, though, that on these threads and IME, there are also examples of slebs who are ON duty being rude to fans who've queued/paid to see them, people who are working with them etc.

dancing Who would you class as a 'brilliant creative' in the category of person who gets hassled for photographs? Mostly these people are actors and singers, who are talented, but not irreplaceable.

Yes. Although Cliff Richard was rude to my mum at the stage door, so he is an arse.

I used to work at an airport and have met a few low level celebrities. As far as I was concerned I had a job to do and be professional about it so would never ask for a photo or autograph. Many of my colleagues did though.
I think as a celebrity it should be expected that members of the public are going to ask. Celebs should have a right to say no though and not be branded as rude or arrogant as a result.

Writers, actors, etc, don't know that they're going to be hugely successful when they start out. As pp said, most aren't. JKR didn't know that HP was going to be such a massive phenomenon when she started writing it. Should she not have written Philosopher's Stone, just in case it was a big success? Should she have stopped writing halfway through the series, because she didn't like the attention (and because her children were papped)? And then millions of children wouldn't have had the pleasure of reading the books.

Screaming I saw Judi Dench being pestered for selfies by a bunch of people when she was at the airport and obviously anxious to get to her gate for her flight.

I also saw Sheridan Smith being bothered for selfies and autographs over and over in a restaurant where she was trying to have a quiet dinner with a couple of people.

They are hugely talented actresses who should be allowed to make a career of their talent without being deprived of any right to a private life.