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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should he be taking me on better dates?

219 replies

Callmedarcy · 19/12/2018 20:03

Dates in orde

  • Drinks
  • Dog Walk
  • Film at mine, cooked dinner together
  • Shopping
  • Film at mine, cooked dinner together

My friend said that he should be taking me on better dates where I’m getting dressed up for dinner etc and that he’s only coming over to mine because he’s interested in one thing (we’ve not had sex yet)

I would like this (posh dinner dates) but I’m also very happy with how things are going. I like being with him regardless of what we’re doing.

This is also coming from a friend who’s never been on a date or had a relationship ... so I’m not sure if they’d view is a bit more romantic than realistic

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/12/2018 20:04

What sort of dates do you take him on?

FritataPatate · 19/12/2018 20:05

Stop cooking dinner and go out. Or let him cook for you!

IamSerena · 19/12/2018 20:06

Same question as @WorraLiberty

StoorieHoose · 19/12/2018 20:06

What sort of dates do you take him on?

Holidayshopping · 19/12/2018 20:07

Surely dates are a joint decision?

If you want to go to nice restaurants then suggest it. If you don’t, then I don’t really see why your friend’s opinion is relevant.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 19/12/2018 20:07

How many of the dates have you planned?! If you want to do something specific then suggest it and make the arrangements yourself.

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2018 20:08

Stop cooking dinner and go out. Or let him cook for you!

But they cook it together?

OP, if you want to go out for dinner, invite him out.

Then next date, he might do the same for you.

Also, get a conversation going about what his/your 'ideal or fantasy' date would be.

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 19/12/2018 20:09

Posh dinner dates are expensive. DH wooed me over £1 Iceland pizzas and cherry Lambrini because that's what we could afford back in the day. Your dates sound nice.

Thesearmsofmine · 19/12/2018 20:10

Why don’t you take him out for a posh dinner?

Joinourclub · 19/12/2018 20:10

You’re not some passive little doll. If you want to go on better dates then take him on better dates.

userofthiswebsite · 19/12/2018 20:11

Sounds fine to me.
Perhaps movies followed by a meal out?

babysharkah · 19/12/2018 20:12

Why are you taking him out to?

PinkFizzz · 19/12/2018 20:12

DP and I have been together over two years now and most of our "dates" were walks, films at his with a takeaway or drinks at our local.

If you enjoy that, why change it? If you want something fancier, suggest it.

Its not "better" to go out on the town, just different.

PurpleDaisies · 19/12/2018 20:13

Is your friend stuck in the 50’s?

Original poster
Callmedarcy · 19/12/2018 20:13

I think people are reading it wrong. I’ve been happy with the dates.

But friend is saying he’s only after one thing and should be taking me out on romantic dates.

OP posts:
CatnissEverdene · 19/12/2018 20:13

I'd say it's a casual relationship OP and he's taking it slow.

Nothing wrong with that and quite nice that he doesn't feel he has to impress you.

shiningstar2 · 19/12/2018 20:14

I would say that the op doing dinner at hers is the date she is 'taking' him on if she is providing the food/drinks. I think I would now be expecting him to reciprocate that with dinner at his or if this can't happen because he lives with others or something I think that as she's done dinner at hers twice if would be nice/reasonable/fair for him to treat her to a meal out ...not necessarily anywhere expensive but just in the spirit of wanting to do something for her.

speakingtruthfully · 19/12/2018 20:15

To me it's a bit cosy and domestic , not that cosy and domestic is wrong but in my opinion too early in the relationship , yes I agree you should do a few meals out , theatre , cinema something a bit more unusual than sharing an everyday occurrence
It doesn't have to be expensive it just has to have some element of romance about it where you both dress up a little and take an effort to impress each other

brick10 · 19/12/2018 20:15

If you’re happy then ignore her. There’s no rules about what dates have to be.

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2018 20:16

If you were 100% happy with your dates, you would have immediately dismissed your friend's irrelevant opinion.

Again, if you want to go on a romantic date then arrange one for the pair of you.

TheBigFatMermaid · 19/12/2018 20:16

Honestly, if you are happy and he is happy, that is what matters. Your friend may be a tad jealous and trying to put a fly in the ointment! Don't let er tarnish what sounds like a nice thing you have going on.

TheBigFatMermaid · 19/12/2018 20:17

her*

ApolloandDaphne · 19/12/2018 20:17

Sound like perfectly nice and low key dates. Dating in real life isn't generally like the movies!

ikltownofboothlehem · 19/12/2018 20:18

DH & I 'courted' over Tesco potato skins, chicken satay sticks, red wine and Band of Brothers 😊

JudasPrudy · 19/12/2018 20:19

I think your friend couldn't be more wrong about him wanting one thing, blokes who want one thing in my experience either don't bother asking you out, just text you after a night out to try to meet, or they take you out and try to get you drunk enough that you'll shag them.

If you enjoy the dates then it's fine, but if you're looking for a life of Fancy restaurants and nights on the town this guy doesn't sound like a good match for you.

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