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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be jealous of women going on maternity leave?

278 replies

TheBestMusic · 10/12/2018 20:59

I know this sounds daft, but I can't help but be green with envy when colleagues go off on maternity leave, knowing they will not have to work for a whole year.

I know they have to look after a newborn which is work in itself, and the money isn't a lot (but it's something). But the fact they get to spend a whole year out not even thinking about work makes me feel so envious.

I haven't had more than a week off since I started working 9 years ago, and every holiday I've thought about and worried about work. I'd love to have a reason to not have to think about it.

OP posts:
Purplehairdontcare · 10/12/2018 21:00

Yabvu HTH

Cherries101 · 10/12/2018 21:01

A long mat leave often comes back to bite women in the bum later though as they lose out on promotion opportunities or stop taking them altogether. The grass isn’t always greener.

silverliningsa · 10/12/2018 21:01

Hahahahaha. The grass is always greener!

Girlfrommars77 · 10/12/2018 21:01

yanbu. its about wanting change.

bananananananana · 10/12/2018 21:02

Then have a baby/adopt a baby and take leave...

Cheby · 10/12/2018 21:03

Lol. It’s not a year off. It’s quite hard work you know. 😂

Hmmmbiscuits · 10/12/2018 21:04

I am going on mat leave in a few months. I know what's coming though! No sleep and a lot of stress, not to mention going back to work full time with two kids! It's great to have a break from work, but it does cost your career too, and working full time with kids is hard.

Sounds like you need a change.

Blueshells · 10/12/2018 21:04

I'm with you OP.

Namechanger55555 · 10/12/2018 21:06

OP have you got children?

Hmmmbiscuits · 10/12/2018 21:06

And working full time while pregnant and you already have a kid isn't much fun either!! People don't give you concessions like you think and it's more or less business as usual. In fact I am probably busier preparing my dept for my mat leave in top of my usual duties!

Autumnsunrise · 10/12/2018 21:06

Swings and roundabouts.

Not working is pretty sweet. But there are things I miss about working. Strangely, the money is not one of them.

coffeeandpyjamas · 10/12/2018 21:06

You sounds totally ridiculous and very ignorant OP. If you want a year off work, have a baby and then come back and tell us how you feel then.

Sexnotgender · 10/12/2018 21:08

I’m going on mat leave in 2 weeks and I cannot bloody wait!

TenForward82 · 10/12/2018 21:08

Have a baby. Then we'll talk.

Littlemissdaredevil · 10/12/2018 21:08

I was relieved to get back to work after DD. I didn’t drink a hot cup of tea the whole time in my own house. Others had babies who napped and were watching Netflix.

Gillian1980 · 10/12/2018 21:08

Yanbu to feel envious.

However, many women spend the year thinking about work a lot while they’re off. I know I did (wondering about my case load, changes in policy, legislation, impact on career, the impending juggling act of work & family etc etc).

And I also found being on maternity leave far, far harder than being at work - physically, emotionally and mentally.

BarbarianMum · 10/12/2018 21:09

But why havent you had more than a week off? And why cant ypu switch off from work? That's worrying and not a little unhealthy.

BrightStarrySky · 10/12/2018 21:09

OP you need a proper holiday

museumum · 10/12/2018 21:09

Take two weeks off and go off grid. You are entitled to holiday.

MedicinalGin · 10/12/2018 21:09

Not sure if you find much of a sympathetic audience here, OP. You make mat leave sound like a good excuse to hide from work - honestly, once I was on mat leave, I spent quite a lot of time thinking back to those heady days when being at work was all I had to worry about!

I know what you mean though- I’ve had jobs where I have felt threatened, unsafe, vulnerable and really distressed and I longed for an escape hatch somewhere. Maybe it’s time you thought of a new job somewhere else? You shouldn’t have to be wistful about other people avoiding the workplace for a bit- you deserve better than that.

bunhead34 · 10/12/2018 21:09

I feel the same!
I am trying to conceive tho, so that might have a bit to do with it!

Blueshells · 10/12/2018 21:10

I didn't get a drink, hot or otherwise, at work today until 3.

Don't know why the OP is getting hate.

tryinganewname · 10/12/2018 21:10

I'm on maternity leave now.. I was so excited about 10 months off and I do love it BUT it's a lot harder work for less pay!!

That being said, I'll be heartbroken when it's over.

HammerToFall · 10/12/2018 21:10

Adopt a baby - if only it were that easy haha

sirmione16 · 10/12/2018 21:11

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I'm DREADING maternity leave. My parents and partner all work fairly long hour jobs so it'll literally be me and baby most of the day (after his 2 weeks paternity), you say it's some money - it's not even enough to cover my half of the mortgage and bills which usually we split equally and I have plenty and am able to save/spend - but I'll literally be skint. Plus not all of the year entitlement is paid.

IMO you sound rather naive and unrealistic. Maternity leave is not an easy way to not do some work Hmm plus babies are bloody hard work anyway.