To remove my coil and not tell dh?

[tinatantrum]

it came out today and I've not said a word!

[tinatantrum]

Thanks for supportive replies the ones that aren't so then I guess that says more about the posters than it does about me.
The coil was taken out by the dr. because over the last few months I have had spotting many times and some tummy ache.
I told dh this morning not because of replies just because it was the right thing to do. However I am in no way gonna try to prevent a pg so I guess it is up to him.
I really hope those of you wanting a baby get your dream.

[Wotz]

[lou33]

i think you have done the right thing, now he knows he can make a choice about whether or not he would mind another baby coming along

good luck

[colditz]

Look, do you not think you are being selfish? If he doesn't want another child, you don't have the right to make him have one.

And yes, it's out and you have told him, but if you get pregnant, don't be surprised if he leaves you.

[Soph73]

Tina - can´t believe you´re seriously considering not telling him. My SIL longed for a baby and her husband never told her that he´d had the snip. She spent years believing it was her fault that nothing happened, she went to the dr countless times and he said there was no reason why she couldn´t conceive. Funnily enough she is no longer with the jerk who wouldn´t tell her the truth & she is now too old to have kids & she´s heartbroken. YOU MUST TELL HIM. Also, what´s wrong with enjoying the child you do have and being b**dy thankful you have at least 1 healthy child when so many women (who would make great mothers) don´t have any at all.

[lou33]

but he knows now, so if she gets pg then he would have gone into it willingly, knowing hte risk he was taking

[NoodleStroodle]

Soph for your sister. Truly awful.

[Soph73]

Tina - just read your latest post and have breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. It is definitely a decision you both have to make together and I´m so pleased you´ve told him. Maybe you should have explained to us originally that the dr took it out and then some of us probably wouldn´t have been so vociferous Good luck

[giddy1]

Message deleted

[Soph73]

Noodle & Fiofio - thanks. Fortunately she married a wonderful guy last week and is very happy now. It´s just unfortunate that the marriage will never be complimented by children.

[tinatantrum]

Gos some posters are so judgemental and high and mighty. I think a little empathy could go a long way even if you don't agree with someone. Sometimes it is very upsetting to read some replies on here - perhaps if posters took time to preview their comments then sometimes they would review the way they write things and not be so harsh. I really hope some of you are nicer in real life than you appear on the internet.

[talcy0]

I do hope he listens to you tina, and understands how much you would like another child. You did right in telling him
good luckx

[colditz]

yes, and it's all very fair and good, but HE has made it clear he doesn't want another baby, so if she gets pregnant, who knows what sort of problems that's going to cause? How can you expect someone to bond with a child they just don't want? How can you expect someone to stick around and raise a child they specifically decided against having?

Contraception is supposed to be a couple's responsibility. Nobody would be saying it's ok for a man to refuse to cooperate with condom or other contraceptives, because he wanted a baby, we'd all be squawking for the right of the woman to be backed up in her contraceptive choice.

Yes he now knows, and therefore it is fair, but no good will come of this, IMO

[colditz]

yes, and it's all very fair and good, but HE has made it clear he doesn't want another baby, so if she gets pregnant, who knows what sort of problems that's going to cause? How can you expect someone to bond with a child they just don't want? How can you expect someone to stick around and raise a child they specifically decided against having?

Contraception is supposed to be a couple's responsibility. Nobody would be saying it's ok for a man to refuse to cooperate with condom or other contraceptives, because he wanted a baby, we'd all be squawking for the right of the woman to be backed up in her contraceptive choice.

Yes he now knows, and therefore it is fair, but no good will come of this, IMO

[colditz]

Gosh, I actually have a lot of empathy, just because it's going in the direction of your husband and not you doesn't mean I don't have any!

It's an underhanded way to get what you want, and I would never TRY to bring a child into a family where it's father didn't want it

[lou33]

if she gets pg now then he was a willing and knowing participant, that is the diference

[Soph73]

Tina - I´d like to think I´m a nice person in RL and I have never posted something as harsh as this before, it´s just that I felt so strongly about it. I apologise if I upset you in any way. The thing is about MN that you have to accept that you´re not going to be surrounded all the time by lovely fluffy posts especially on a topic as emotive (for some people) as this one.

[lemonaid]

Equally, though, all forms of contraception apart from condoms have side-effects. So why should tina (who wants a baby) have to put herself through side-effects from taking measures to make sure she doesn't have one, when her DH (who's the one who doesn't) does nothing about it? If he doesn't want a baby that much he can do something about it and put a condom on rather than expecting tina to deal with the cramps and the bleeding.

[NoodleStroodle]

Soph is right. You can't post on MN and expect everyone to be sympathetic and agree with you. You have people here with from walks of life and with views you would never dream existed - that's what makes it so lively. Some people are tactful, some forthright - just like in real life.