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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To remove my coil and not tell dh?

162 replies

tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:08

it came out today and I've not said a word!

OP posts:
talcy0 · 19/06/2007 09:37

in middle of serious conversation

colditz · 19/06/2007 09:37

He can, and I'm not saying he is being deceived in any way, but I think any child born of this is being short changed! He doesn't want another baby, who says he will change his mind when the baby GETS here?

BandofMothers · 19/06/2007 09:38

If it was the other way around then the woman would just go on the pill or protect herself accordingly.

I know a girl who se DP didn't want another one. She got pg on the sly and didn't tell him til the stick turned blue. He is still there with her and loves his son. It depends on the man and only tina can say whether it's worth risking him leaving.

If he doesn't protect himself now he knows then he should be prepared for the result.

Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:39

Thanks Noodle - that´s why MN is so addictive

lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:39

then if he is that sure he doesnt want another child, now it is his turn to take responsibility for contraception

tinatantrum · 19/06/2007 09:39

I am sitting here in tears thinking about some of you " cold hearted bitches" Everything in life is not black and white. I'm sorry but you have no empathy if you did you would see things from everyones point of view and be perhaps a little gentler with me. You might agree with my dh that is fine I'm sure many will but you could at least have some feeling for the pain that I feel and not do your up most to make me feel even worse.

OP posts:
Grrrr · 19/06/2007 09:40

Soph73, what an unbelievably selfish git your SIL married. How he could remain silent on the matter when she was getting upset each month when not pregnant and undergoing all sorts of tests, is incredible and supposedly he loved her enough to want to marry her !

If there was a bstrd of the decade award he'd be my first nomination.

giddy1 · 19/06/2007 09:40

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FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:41

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lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:42

i think you need to calm down a bit tina, not everyone is on your case, a lot have been supporting you

noone agrees with everyone, just remember you have now done the right thing, so there isnt really a problem anymore

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/06/2007 09:42

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lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:43

lol @ minor slip up

FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:43

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lemonaid · 19/06/2007 09:43

But there isn't a baby, colditz. And if he genuinely doesn't want one, there won't be one because he can put a bloody condom on. I fail to see how this is short changing anybody.

Now yes, if Tina had followed through with her original temptation, that would be unfair. But expecting a grown man to take responsibility for his own decisions is perfectly reasonable.

FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:43

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Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:44

Oh Tina if it´s upsetting you that much then maybe you should stop reading the posts. There is loads of support out there for you and you shouldn´t solely be concentrating on the negative ones. Not everyone will agree with you and you should be grown up enough to accept that. I feel for you I really do and hope it all works out for you, but we all have differing opinions.

Grrr - yep, that nomination would definitely apply to him.

talcy0 · 19/06/2007 09:46

i wanna minor slip up

Right, am off now....good luck tina
and everyone else in fact

TranquilaManana · 19/06/2007 09:46

By giddy1 on Tue 19-Jun-07 08:44:20

"You are not happy to have a device inside your body that prevents you from conceiving a child that you long for.
Thats all you need to say.
The rest is up to him."

absolutely.
good luck.

tinatantrum · 19/06/2007 09:46

You just proved my point mild mannered janitor.
You know what the minority of you that take pleasure in upsetting people can just FUCK OFF.

OP posts:
Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:47

Me too, talcy, me too ....

TranquilaManana · 19/06/2007 09:47

god, theres like 50 posts since i read and posted...! have to read now...

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/06/2007 09:48

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BandofMothers · 19/06/2007 09:48
Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:49

Tina - now that was just downright rude. It´s obviously time you walked away from the computer, put the kettle on and took some deep breaths before re-reading this thread and realising that lots of people are trying to support you.

Squeakybub · 19/06/2007 09:49

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