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Original poster

Will my son go to prison?

307 replies

MrsPortious · 28/10/2018 17:03

DS is 17. He has been arrested before for assault but it was dealt with by youth justice serve so officially not charged.

Early this week, he was arrested for affect. An unprovoked attack on an unknown male, caught in CCTV, where he was seen kicking him over 20 times in the head and face. Unknown male has not come forward. Behind the scenes, DS was already being investigated for threats of arson and threats to kill.
Solicitor says it has prison written all over it. I can’t get my head around that. He’s currently released without bail pending further enquiries.

Will he go to prison?

I’ve tried so hard to get him help. Have referred him to social devices, drug counselling, Cahms ... cahms are the only ones still involved.

I’m just stuck in limbo now waiting for a court date. I have no support and it’s killing me. His father was supposed to be having him this weekend but “something came up”. I don’t get the opportunity of “something coming up”. I have it 24/7.

The CCTV is so sickening, it’s the kind of thing that will go viral on Facebook if the press gets hold of it. DS cares not one bit. When solicitor told him it could be a prison sentence, he didn’t react at all. Solicitor rang me the next day to say he’d never seen such a violence assault and he’d never known such an emotionless response from the offender.

Will my Christmas Day involve me signing into the visitors book at HMP? I have nobody to talk to about this.

OP posts:
Unicornandbows · 28/10/2018 17:11

That's so sad for both you and the young man he assaulted, however I think time in jail might actually do him some good? I can only imagine what you are going through however he is a danger to the public which is also not fair. I would perhaps have a psychologist examine him to see if there was any underlying causes

Aprilsinparis · 28/10/2018 17:11

Agree with mamamedic

bridgetreilly · 28/10/2018 17:11

Oh, OP, that's so hard. I don't know why your son doesn't seem to care, but that's part of what's got him to this point. If prison was a deterrent, he wouldn't be doing these things.

I think your best hope is that he might get some kind of counselling in prison that can help him start to see things differently. It sounds as though you've already done as much as you possibly can for him. He's almost an adult now and he has to start wanting to change before anything will change.

Soontobe60 · 28/10/2018 17:11

He probably will get a custodial sentence. And so he should. He could quite easily have killed the victim.
Please do not try to make excuses for this appalling crime; many people have had horrendous lives where their parents treated them abysmally, yet they don't go on to commit such violence.

JellieEllie · 28/10/2018 17:12

Yes he will most certainly go to prison.
He is 17 and it may be a shock to the system and may actually help him in the long run to learn some consequences for his actions. He needs to be severely disciplined.
I'm sorry you have to go through this but the end result will be blessing in disguise for yourself, your son and any future victims/families he hurts because of his actions.

Original poster
MrsPortious · 28/10/2018 17:12

I felt sick watching the CCTV it was that bad. The solicitor told him before the interview to say he felt threatened. Once he was watching it even he had to take a deep breath and shake his head. So now, DS is out with his mates without a care in the world, his father is dealing with “something that came up” and I’m sat here wondering if my son will survive prison. He weighs about 7st and looks like a 12 year old.

I know he deserves it, Christ if he doesn’t go I honestly think he could end up killing someone next time. I just have nobody to talk to about it and nobody seems to care, least of all, DS

OP posts:
AriadneCrete · 28/10/2018 17:13

Yes, it seems likely he’ll get a well deserved prison sentence.

How much CAHMS involvement is there?

BritInUS1 · 28/10/2018 17:13

Sorry, but Yes I hope he goes to prison, he is a violent criminal and needs to be punished

cheaperthebetter · 28/10/2018 17:13

Yes with out a doubt!...Affray is normally custodial sentence and with the cctv too!...In your post you say the person he assaulted has not come forward, Was there actual witnesses? If so I would say yes he will be going to prison, if not then not sure, but the CPS can prosecute without the actual person being there especially with cctv

Seniorcitizen1 · 28/10/2018 17:13

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MyDcAreMarvel · 28/10/2018 17:13

Does he have any additional need that could explain his lack of emotion?

Andro · 28/10/2018 17:14

If you head to the crime thread, you'll find the 'what to take to prison' support thread, unfortunately, it sounds likely he'll be headed that way.

PearsOfWisdom · 28/10/2018 17:14

I’m so sorry.

I have friends whose son got in this kind of trouble, he was even younger. I know they did everything they could to get him help. It wasn’t their fault.

Sparklesocks · 28/10/2018 17:14

I think it’s quite likely due to the severity of the offence and the fact he’s been in trouble before.

To be honest it sounds like it might be best, he’s clearly a danger to people and shouldn’t be mixing with society. And it might be the beginning of him turning it around.

The cold detachment is quite scary, but maybe he hasn’t accepted or dealt with the reality of the situation so it’s not really hitting him. Otherwise is it possible he might have a mental health issue which affects how he empathises?

Andro · 28/10/2018 17:15

crime section, not thread - it's in the 'other stuff' list.

bloodylovethemoomins · 28/10/2018 17:16

I know he's your son but I hope so. People like him don't need to be on the streets.

MrsStrowman · 28/10/2018 17:16

Hi OP I work in the justice system. Was his youth adult an out of court disposal, a youth caution, a youth conditional caution or a youth referral order? The threats he was being investigated about, are they related to this assault? Is this charge just affray or is there an assault abh/gbh as well? Is he intending on pleading guilty and are there any mitigating circumstances (mental health, self defence etc)? Sorry for all the questions but the more I know the more accurate I can be with my advice. The reaction you're seeing is common for those facing prison, it can be about denial, price or sometimes just an absolute lack of self worth our feeling like they have anything staying in the outside for. Sometimes it's the false impression given by the media that prisons are like holiday camps. I'm in then across the country regularly and trust me they are not.

GreenTulips · 28/10/2018 17:16

Not sure what you are after.

AriadneCrete · 28/10/2018 17:17

OP you do sound like you’re really struggling. Sad That’s why I asked about CAHMS, because where I am they offer parents/ career support and advice too.

FishesThatFly · 28/10/2018 17:17

So sorry to read this OP - not for him, but you.

There is just no help out there for troubled young people and it's the parents.... mainly the Mum.... who ends up with the guilt and feeling of failure.

It will be a sentance l suspect but l truely hope they also ask for a Mental Health assessment. Could you ask the solicitor if this can be a condition of his sentencing.

Original poster
MrsPortious · 28/10/2018 17:17

Part of me thinks prison will do him good, and selfishly it would be a blessing for me to have a break.
He’s given no reason and it wasn’t a kid he attacked, it was a man in his 50s (estimate). Victim looked like a drug addict, it was 4.30 in the morning. No witnesses other than the CCTV and his friends who obviously won’t testify against him (although the are seen in the video trying to drag him off him).
It has been referred to CPS

OP posts:
Fucksgiven · 28/10/2018 17:18

He will go to youth custody, and hopefully he'll get the help he needs, as long as he gets long enough. He sounds very troubled, and you sound exhausted with it all.

While he's inside take advantage of the chance to breathe, get your life where you want it, and only have him back if he can/will fit into a reasonable way of behaviour.

All the best to you ok. Make this your turning point

PiperPublickOccurrences · 28/10/2018 17:18

An unprovoked attack on an unknown male, caught in CCTV, where he was seen kicking him over 20 times in the head and face. Unknown male has not come forward. Behind the scenes, DS was already being investigated for threats of arson and threats to kill.

He should be in prison. He's a danger to other people. Hopefully it will give him the opportunity to get his life in order.

colditz · 28/10/2018 17:18

Probably comfort and reassurance, GreenTulips. Is that an alien concept to you?

LukeSkywalkerBoots · 28/10/2018 17:19

OP forgive me for asking but I imagine something must have made him such an angry young man? You mention his dad not being about during this crisis so do they have a bad relationship?

I’m wondering if the source of his anger and bad behaviour can be found then that might be the key to turning things around.

Does he have any MH problems at all?