Will my son go to prison?

[MrsPortious]

DS is 17. He has been arrested before for assault but it was dealt with by youth justice serve so officially not charged.

Early this week, he was arrested for affect. An unprovoked attack on an unknown male, caught in CCTV, where he was seen kicking him over 20 times in the head and face. Unknown male has not come forward. Behind the scenes, DS was already being investigated for threats of arson and threats to kill.
Solicitor says it has prison written all over it. I can’t get my head around that. He’s currently released without bail pending further enquiries.

Will he go to prison?

I’ve tried so hard to get him help. Have referred him to social devices, drug counselling, Cahms ... cahms are the only ones still involved.

I’m just stuck in limbo now waiting for a court date. I have no support and it’s killing me. His father was supposed to be having him this weekend but “something came up”. I don’t get the opportunity of “something coming up”. I have it 24/7.

The CCTV is so sickening, it’s the kind of thing that will go viral on Facebook if the press gets hold of it. DS cares not one bit. When solicitor told him it could be a prison sentence, he didn’t react at all. Solicitor rang me the next day to say he’d never seen such a violence assault and he’d never known such an emotionless response from the offender.

Will my Christmas Day involve me signing into the visitors book at HMP? I have nobody to talk to about this.

AIBU never fails to make me sad that there are so many people that don’t care about other peoples feelings. People who can read a short post and leap to whatever conclusion they want.

OP I hope that you are able to ignore posts like that. I work at a youth base charity and see so many parents trying for years to get their teenagers help only to have door after door shut on them. Then when things go so badly wrong they not only get blame from everyone but they also blame themselves. Mental health services in the UK aren’t fit for purpose.

OP please visit your GP, tell them how you are feeling. Hopefully you can get some counselling. Make sure you look after youself.
I agree with the others who have suggested your son has a mental health assessment. Good luck and I hope he turns his life around.

Wow. Yes. I think he will. Any kicking of the head or face makes the attack MUCH more serious - i don't meant to scare you bit unless something has changed since I studied law (5 years ago) worst case scenario he could get between 5 - 20 years.

OP

Your son is probably going to prison and there is nothing you can do about that.

You need to look after your self. This is NOT your fault, he is an adult and responsible for his own actions.

Your natural reaction is to wrap your child in a blanket, and tell them everything will be OK. You can't do that.

Decide just how much support you are going to give him. I have a friend who's daughter has been in prison a few times, she has never visited her in prison. It is a decision she made and has stuck to it.

Are you going to court? Are you going to write to the judge? Are you going to give him a home after he comes out?

Hopefully your son will access some help in prison.

As for his attitude.

Maybe he doesn't care.

Maybe he is scared but not wanting to show it.

Maybe he sees it as a chance to sort out his anger issues.

YOu will not be visiting Xmas day, normally there are no visits.

There are some very mean posters on this thread.

OP I am sorry for you. I hope he gets the help he needs - and you get a break x

It’s very likely yes. Wesoecially with the added aspect of showing no remorse.

What is also clear is that he’s an angry young man. It’s clear, as you mention there are underlinnng issues that haven’t been dealt with. No one is born violent. It’s a string of circumstances that has led him to this point.

I’m not justifying it. God knows my son is very violent but there’s always an underlining cause (anxiety and ASD) And I thank my lucky stars I’m able to address his violence whilst his still young.

Here’s wishing you the best. No one wants to see their child donthis to anyone.

I’m so sorry OP. You sound so distressed by this and it’s clear from your posts that you’ve done your best. I know nothing about the prison system so can’t comment on that aspect, but wanted to say this isn’t your fault.

To the posters coming to kick the OP when she’s down- what is this achieving about from breaking an already broken woman a little bit more? Show some bloody compassion!

Op have this moved to the crime section.

OP i think prison is a good thing here, for you, for the safety of the general
Public and for your son. I hope it gives you the break and rest you need, and that they provide support for him inside and when he is released. I would strongly consider not letting him live with you on his release.

I'd have thought so, yes. Especially as this isn't his first dalliance with the law, and that the attack seems to be unprovoked.

At his age though, he'll be in a young offenders institution, where there are a lot more services and support systems he will be encouraged to access.
Good luck to you both.

My cousin had a very troubled youth, his mum died when he was tiny and his stepmother was a cold fish. He got into drugs etc and went to prison for a few years for aggravated robbery and arson .

He is now a minister, runs a homeless shelter and a has a lovely wife and son. He says prison was the wake up call he needed.

Lots of love for you x

My partner said he doubts he'll get sent down because my partner got arrested for affrey when he was younger. He'll probably get youth offenders, community service. But then depends what mood the judge is in. And depends if it's at crown court.

If it was my son I'd want him to go to prison and have him taught a lesson. If nothing else's is working.

Also you have to be 18 to go to prison. He'll get youth offending.

DEpends when they set a date - if he turns 18 in the mean time. Sometimes there can be a delay for trial.

The man may come forward or he may have and since died - you don't know what might happen

It has nothing to do with what mood the Judge is in. That's not how justice works.

OP, I hope you're bearing up. What a sad situation for you and your son.

It's important to remember that solicitors do state the worst possible sentence. That said, it's important the pre-sentence report is accurate.

I'm not sure that a YOI is the best place, however if that's where he's heading, that's where he's going.

For your sake, I'd recommend you allowing the justice system to take its course. Come and join us on the What to take to prison thread in the Crime section. You'll receive support not judgement, and the posters there have similar situations.

Your son is in the hands of the justice system and he'll be treated with respect and hopefully it will trigger some pathways for him. It's not going to be easy for you as a family, but family is vital for resettlement. There's something going on with him that you can't get to the bottom of and it's time to hand over to a system that is not without its issues, but does support.

All you can do is be there. Like Drinks has in the thread over in crime. She has narrated her journey with her daughter and you'll find some great handholds.

I hope so!

Young offenders prisons like Feltham are horrendous with a high suicide rate. Posters saying he will get the help he needs are ill-informed. Prison services are privatised now and education and rehabilitation are not priorities. Op’s DS will probably come out a lot worse than he went in.

For what it’s worth my sympathy is with whoever he is kicking in the head who will probably have neurological problems later on.

I have to agree with a poster above. YOI are pretty horrendous. And they don't get the help they need. Its pretty much impossible to get mental health help outside of prison - inside is ten times worse. There have been so many cutbacks to the prison service its more containment than rehabilitation. Statistics say that 2/3rd of the prison population have mental health issues. Thats pretty shocking. Yes your son should be punished. But he obviously needs some help too and he won't get that in prison.

Hi again OP

Just a warning again to pick carefully what to read on here, it is only a small minority of posters who know anything about the youth justice system. (Sorry Skyrocket, missed you in my 'know's what they're talking about list' earlier, wasn't personal!)

I'd visit the other threads on what to take to prison for a more balanced and knowledgeable view.

I hope so. Sickening.

I feel sorry for all the posters on here who think empathy is a finite resource. I can feel sorry for OP's son's victim, for OP, and even some for her son despite how horrendous what he's done is. You have to be either pretty thick or pretty low on compassion to think it's an either/or and that everyone who is offering kindness to the OP clearly doesn't care about the victim.

Hopefully he will yes.I feel for you, but that person he attacked is someone's son too, and an unprovoked attack like that will have probably affected him badly mentally,and could possibly have killed him.Prison is the best place for your son for the general public and possibly for him too.

It sounds like he needs one.

Has he always been violent OP?

At seventeen I doubt there is much you can do. Sorry to say.