To ask if you've ever had an awful one night stand?

[greycrisscross]

So on the weekend, a good friend persuaded me to go out which I haven't done in a LONG time. We got very very drunk! she's a bit of a party animal (terrible influence but sure does know how to have a good time)
Anyway I woke up next to the most annoying man ive ever met in my whole life. He was basically professing his love to me and also telling me all about his ex he'd recently split with. It was awful especially combined with a banging hangover. My friend was laughing her head off as I text her whilst I was in the bathroom "PLEASE GET HIM TO LEAVE" it was mortifying!!! Trying to see the funny side of it still and asking have you ever had a really bad one night stand?

@outpinked i'm married to an Italian. I think they truly believe in the Gino d' Campo's saying that you put 'minimum effort for maximum satisfaction' in every aspect of their lives especially in bed like your 'hot' barista

Some of the comments have cheered me up no end! I had a few terrible moments in my late teens/early 20's. Finally scoring with the really lovely lad that I'd fancied for years, ended with me getting my coat after uttering the immortal words 'Is it in yet?' Apparently it had been for several minutes! 😂😂😂 I was sooo disappointed!

Also reminds me what the future potentially holds, as I separate from my ex. After 18yrs with him, the dating world is an alien landscape to me. I'll either be back regaling you with my own, new horror stories or locking myself in the house with a good book and a nice cup of tea....time will tell!

Girl turned up late to a first date (we'd been messaging on Guardian Soulmates, and she said she'd been getting ready), with her (girl) flatmate, a dog, and some random 50 year old dude in a suit. Later turned out her and her flatmate had been on an all day bender and met the dude in the suit in an earlier pub.

The flatmate quite openly tried to swap the dog for coke in the pub beer garden. The dog actually belonged to the guy in the suit.

All went back to hers and had some fun but didn't call her again. Actually it was a hilarious night out.

(And before anyone asks, the dog didn't get swapped for coke in the end).

I met a guy at a party and we went out the following week. He was awful. Nasty to the waiters and an arrogant dick.

We had the most awful shag - he was limp but was still attempting sex. This went on for ages. Never heard from him again.

A guy once opened his wallet to give me some money for a taxi home in the morning (went back to his hotel after a night out) and after handing me a tenner he took his wedding ring out of his wallet too and put it on......... I was so angry!

Not to gang up on the Italian blokes, but...

how can it go so very wrong, when they’re so beautiful and romantic and charismatic? My favourite was the Lovely Francesco. Curly of hair, crinkly of smile. Met him at my cousin’s party in Milan. Eyes locked, then a few hours later, legs locked too.

At his gorgeous apartment, made it into his gorgeous bed. He was a bit inexperienced (as they tend to be). So I took the lead. I was on top, I reached up to do the dramatic sexy hair release. I had a long silver clip in. The second I pull out the clip, he screams, flips me off him and leaps out of bed. Races to the en-suite bathroom and locks himself in. Refuses to answer me for the next half hour. I get dressed and leave, go back to the party nearby.

My cousin gets a call from him the next day. Apparently he thought my hair clip was some kind of dagger that I was intending to plunge into his heart. No jokes. Obviously he’d heard tales about us promiscuous foreign witches, and our taste for blood?!?

We’re friends on Facebook now, of course.

Another one.

Shagged a guy who, as soon as deed was done, jumped out of bed and started switching the light on and off whilst saying "Disco, disco, time to go now!".

Wondering what happens to these poor men with their teeny appendages ... do they ever get the girl? and get it in ... is anyone going to own up to being married to one, because I'm worried about them

Was about 19 and thrilled to have pulled the very sexy DJ. Met up for first date about a week later, all was fine went back to his.... He lives with his mum, fine, no problem there. She comes home, ok no big deal, we'll put on a film and 'chill'. She starts screaming up the stairs at him about something totally unrelated, he goes down and they have a blazing row then he comes back all normal and fine like there's nothing weird at all about having a screaming match with your mum as an adult. Starting to get a bit weird now but he is very sexy so soon get back in the mood....she fucking walks in while I'm laying there half naked and starts shouting at him again, completely ignores me, they row some more while I awkwardly try to cover up. She finally leaves and it's awkward as fuck but try to laugh it off. When we did eventually do it it was crap and he turned out to be a complete dick (surprise surprise) very selfish and immature in bed and quite horrible after. Never saw him again, fine by me.

I went to a festival when I was about 20. I borrowed a sleeping bag off my mate and met a guy there who came back to our tent and we had sex in the sleeping bag. I gave it back to my mate unwashed

I had sex with a guy I met at until again I was about 20. He was gorgeous but his dick was tiny. I think he knew because he turned nasty the next day and told me I was wide down below. Loser

I shagged some guy in Aiya Napa when I was 18, the first and last one night stand I ever had. We met in some bar and when we were all walking back to our apartments he tried to sneak me into his room but we couldn't get past the security guard so that was that.

I bumped into him a couple of days later after phoning him from a phone box several times like the desperate little twat I was at the time and he managed to sneak me into his room.

The sex was absolutely shit, I think he just thought I was some silly slag he might as well bang so why put any effort in. I did try and talk dirty to him to make things a bit hotter. He laughed in my face...

The room he was in was being shared between him and his male friend and I'm sure the two single beds were pushed up against each other 😳

It was mid afternoon by the time I did the walk of shame the next day, when all the normal people were out shopping and having lunch. They KNEW!

Never again.

@DavedeeDozyBeakyMickandTich wasn't a drum and bass DJ by any chance was he?

So so so many tales , I was pretty promiscuous and had low self esteem and almost gave myself a dare to have worse and worse ones . Some were sexy , many were sordid , and most could be characterised by a lack of respect

Funnily enough (I’m 45) I have forgotton them and have very much forgiven myself for them . As many posters have said i used to hate myself for them , loathe even

But having done some personal work I have
Managed to wipe the slate clean

So for all the posters who feel shit . Please do what’s needed to move on . I bet the men don’t define by their sordid past !

@plates to be honest with you I can't really remember, it was an over 21's bar going back about 12 years, which pretended to be really mature and exclusive (as opposed to Yates and the like at the time) but everyone was on coke and pills . He dj'd at a few places. He was very handsome and charming, but an absolute man child.

@DavedeeDozyBeakyMickandTich ah no it won't be who I'm thinking of then.

@stopfuckingshoutingatme - I'm also a lessons learnt then wipe the slate girl and have definitely found it to be the best attitude. It's taken some time but it's been very positive.