To ask if you've ever had an awful one night stand?

[greycrisscross]

So on the weekend, a good friend persuaded me to go out which I haven't done in a LONG time. We got very very drunk! she's a bit of a party animal (terrible influence but sure does know how to have a good time)
Anyway I woke up next to the most annoying man ive ever met in my whole life. He was basically professing his love to me and also telling me all about his ex he'd recently split with. It was awful especially combined with a banging hangover. My friend was laughing her head off as I text her whilst I was in the bathroom "PLEASE GET HIM TO LEAVE" it was mortifying!!! Trying to see the funny side of it still and asking have you ever had a really bad one night stand?

Also @Bimgy85 it sounds like you put too much weight on the shit decisions many of us have also made when young
It doesn't shape or define you
The way people treated you then also reflects on them as young people and maybe they also regret who they were back then
Live for who you are now. Hopefully you have good people in your life and no one cares what you did when u were young and dumb
I promise I did some fucked up stuff happy to share if you pm me
For example I once had two boyfriends for a year they knew about one another I was a totally awful user bitch to them both and that's how they remember me to this day but I know that wasn't / isn't me and I regret if

Oh wait actually forgot to add the one where I shagged an old friend as I'd just been dumped and was gutted (aged 18)
It was the night before I was going to uni
We couldn't find the condom after anywhere and i never knew it could get stuck or lost but found it when I got home and I spent the night at home digging it out of my cervix where it got stuck then spent the next morning making excuses to parents to be out of the house instead of packing to leave so I could get the morning after pill

Had a drunken one night stand with my friend and travelling companion on the last night of the trek to Machu Pichu. We woke up v hungover and missed the beautiful morning mist and atmosphere that it's known for. Got there after the masses who just jumped on the train.

Oh, man alive, Hooman! ☺️

As you didn’t know he was a policeman, I’m assuming that he didn’t have his uniform nearby...
But i used to make/ask my bf to dress up as a policeman, so i would’ve been chuffed that he was a copper.

Jesus, he looked good in that uniform...😍

Oh yes haven't we all?

I've never had a ONS (not saying that's either a good thing or a bad thing, just a fact)

Don’tJudge - they say things come in threes!

I was in my 50s and separated from my exW.

I suggested going out for a meal and she asked me to collect her from her house. She opened the door wearing nothing but a dressing gown and took that off as soon as the door closed. I enjoyed the sex and then we went for a Chinese meal. Afterwards she suggested visiting her friend. She told me to massage her shoulders and then encouraged her friend to give me oral. We then went back to her house and she kept telling me that she had lube if I wanted anal. I never saw her again.
The other was again a date to go for a meal and I met her at the station. She said that we should go to my place so she could leave her bag (it was a suitcase) After the meal we went back to mine and the night was good. The next day she wanted to eat breakfast while we were both naked. All good but the next day she emailed and told me she was married.

I had a one night stand with a Geordie lad many years ago now. He worked with my brother and despite never being able to understand a word he said due to his heavy accent and how quietly he spoke, he was gorgeous.

Once in the sack, he mysteriously became more understandable but wanted me to keep saying I loved him over and over until he finished. It was a very weird and uncomfortable situation!

Another one night stand, I met a lad I had grown up with in the pub. Hadn't seen him in years. Ended up taking him home. Now he was very overweight, but this was not a problem for me, i prefer a man with meat on his bones! What was a problem was his hygiene. There were folds of skin that hadn't been cleaned under in quite some time. Still, I didn't want to hurt his feelings so got on with it, literally doing all the work.

Next morning he tells me he was a virgin. Two days later he sends me a text saying "fancy a pump?" The answer, unsurprisingly, was no!

John, you know Penthouse has a letters page, don’t you?

My very keen BS spidey sense is twitching right now...

Mine was a neighbour, because I like shitting on my own doorstep apparently. I was drunk and he was too coked up to keep it up at all so nothing actually happened. I like to pretend nothing ever did, especially when I’m putting the bins out

Oh and about six weeks after the non event I got a text asking if I wanted to finish what we “started”! Flaming cheek, I presumed he was high and said no thanks.

@John was your ONS on groundhog day?

The guy who nearly bit my nipple off during foreplay. Ouch. It didn't go any further.

I went back to someones house and his room was a mess, on top of that he was just not doing it for me was not great at all, like he didnt know ehat he was doing, left in morning and he insisted in walking me to bus stop for him to then tell me his ex wife was coming round to drop his kids off. Then few weeks later when drunk he told few mutual friends we had done the deed and I was like a sack of potatoes! Unbelievable!

Oh a few...one where his Mum came in the room in the morning with a tray of toast, tea and biscuits and we had a lovely chat about poetry. I really liked her.

Another where he sung opera 'at' me the next morning...me and my friends still call him "Opera Boy."

And my favourite was when we were friends and pretended he had missed his last train. We got the airbed out and pretended, then jumped into bed together when my flatmate went to bed. We've been married for a few years now.

ChairmanMiaow123
John, you know Penthouse has a letters page, don’t you?

It might have. I've never read it.
I just thought I'd show that males can have bad experiences as well.
I just realised that I posted my post twice and can't see how to delete one. Trying to type on a train is not easy

my first time was my only ONS.

on holiday, she was very drunk. as it was my first time i was unbelievably nervous, but she was quite encouraging. at least until she phoned her ex-boyfriend during foreplay.

then we did the deed, and i lasted about 8 seconds. this put her more in the mood however, but i'd used my only condom.

had to go back to my hotel room to get another one, where my friend was with another girl.

he wouldn't answer the door, and me knocking on it woke my parents up in the next room, who came out to see what was going on. i had to hide in the fire escape stairwell.

i went back down to the girls' room, but she'd fallen asleep (or had probably had enough disappointment), and wouldn't answer the door either.

so, stuck in between rooms, i spent the rest of the night on the stairs.

pretty much a disaster from start to finish. no wonder it took me ages to try it again.

Mine was I had fancied this boy all through school and had never done anything about it. Leavers night I was off my face and we had a snog. He walked me home and I passed out before we could do anything. I woke up in the morning and he was gone. I never saw him again.

Just the one? Forget it.

As a student, after a bad break-up with my boyfriend of many years, had drunkenly snogged a (nice) friend of a friend on while visiting my friend for a party in the city they lived in. A couple of weeks later he phoned to ask to visit me in my city, I didn’t really want him to but said yes.

After a very boozy afternoon / eve he stayed at mine, fully consensual but bad sex! Due to the alcohol perhaps. Exchanged pleasantries over breakfast, then after that I avoided his phone calls.

It took me until my mid 20s to realise that it was OK to say no to men I didn’t fancy! After the above incident one of my housemates talked to me firmly about this, but I didn’t fully take it in until after a later, toxic relationship with a pushy man who initially was very full on and got involved with despite having misgivings. I felt that if someone showed interest it was rude to turn them down. Not good.

No no no. Nobody from work. No family friends. No friends husbands or boyfriends. Also not the neighbours or parents of your children's friends. I think that's it. Oh, no babysitters. If there's anyone left, feel free

I think most people have.

The worst one for me was the hot Italian Starbucks barista. I’d fancied him for a while and felt a bit of a spark between us whenever I went in for my soy latte . One day he wrote his number on the coffee cup and I was delighted. We agreed to meet up a few days later and got very, very drunk. Went back to his and buried down to watch serial killer documentaries, as you do, before one thing lead to another. I was fully expecting something amazing but he lasted all of one minute , apologised and that was that. I snook out in the night and got a taxi home.