To ask if you've ever had an awful one night stand?

[greycrisscross]

So on the weekend, a good friend persuaded me to go out which I haven't done in a LONG time. We got very very drunk! she's a bit of a party animal (terrible influence but sure does know how to have a good time)
Anyway I woke up next to the most annoying man ive ever met in my whole life. He was basically professing his love to me and also telling me all about his ex he'd recently split with. It was awful especially combined with a banging hangover. My friend was laughing her head off as I text her whilst I was in the bathroom "PLEASE GET HIM TO LEAVE" it was mortifying!!! Trying to see the funny side of it still and asking have you ever had a really bad one night stand?

Sorry about all the typos.

Also that was my one and only one night stand. Lesson learned .

fifithefoof
How were they awful John? Aren't you going to describe her 'panties' too?
I might be old fashioned but the first one was before we had even talked much and going to her friend's was not what I wanted. Despite all of that I wanted to meet her again but he said she only wanted ONS.
The second just freaked me.

I think I was trying to make up for lack of experience before I'd got married and wanted more than a ONS 

Young and inexperienced I met a guy in a club who was very charming. I was very shy but also tanked up on cider so went back to his house.

His place was a mess. He had a very small penis which coupled with terrible technique (think flapping away on top of me like a fish out of water) I couldn’t even tell if it was in most of the time but he insisted he wouldn’t stop till I came (not a chance in hell) so it just went on and on and on till eventually I just faked it to get it to end.

In the morning I came on my period and bled on the bed which to his credit he was very sweet about but he wanted to continue relations and I just wanted to get out of there. The house was in the middle of nowhere so I couldn’t go until he drove me home. I gave him a blow job in the kitchen to hasten things along.

Tbf a lot of why it was crap was because of my poor boundaries and inability to assert myself. Still, I never had a ONS again though.

One from ten years ago stands out. Awful. Awful, awful, awful. Such a car crash. We were drunk, I expect I was on drugs, I was definitely heartbroken by a hideous breakup. We hadn't a clue how to work each other.

We've now been together seven years, and are expecting our first baby. I love the bones of him.

First one on a camping holiday with a bunch of teenagers and 20 somethings. I really fancied this bloke but it turned out (after a lot of snogging) he was into my friend who wasn't on the holiday. So I slept with this nice guy on the rebound. In a tent! With no contraception. Years before MAP. Years before AIDS. Worried few weeks and one negative pregnancy test later and it was all fine.

One at uni, just been dumped after the exams by BF. Slept with his friend, sort of a revenge shag. I was an idiot. Nice guy again but his only condom was in a key ring, sort of novelty item, bright blue and it split while putting it on so we just fumbled about a bit. Embarrassing next day/week/ third year when both sober.

Next one I brought back to my uni house after a party but despite lots of oral he couldn't get it up so I chucked him out as neither of us could sleep comfortably in my single bed. At 3am. Harsh.

Next one was a work colleague. We'd gone out in a group drinking and we both fancied a takeaway so he came back to mine. Great sex, but it turned out he'd just started dating someone else. No hard feelings but on my last day at that work he said, 'We must have a Chinese again sometime.' And I blushed really badly.

Last one was the brother of my friend from school. We got something going at friend's housewarming party and dated for a couple of weeks, so not really a ONS, but only had sex once. Average. He was more in love with himself than with me. Met his family once.

6 months later went to another party at friend's house and got off with friend. Yes, last one's brother. His mum said, 'You again' when I went around there. Reader, I married him.

22 years and 3 kids later now divorced. No more ONSs since, sadly.

Well, never had a good one... Gave them up after university.

They do rather blend into one - I only had three (four if you like, one was a threesome). All a bit of a theme - moderately to very pissed guy(s) finding there was nobody else single left in the bar/party, trying it on and being somewhat disconcerted to find me agreeing, followed by some unpleasantly dry sex on those special super narrow university halls beds with a big central dip in the mattress. I have no idea why I didn't think I had the right to sex with someone I actually fancied, or the right to say no to obvious opportunists. Though the first time I did say no and the bloke turned really nasty, I found out.

Bigmy - yes, have some therapy, it helps. TBH it sounds like you are quite a survivor.

Bigmy - be kind to yourself. Sometimes people take advantage of us when we are in dark places.

Haha yes, I think we all have! It was actually with a plumber 😂 he came round to do some plumbing, gave me his number and I invited him round a few nights later. We watched some tv for a bit, then found ourselves getting intimate. It was over very quickly, he flipped me over and pretty much humped me like a dog.. just awful 😂

Back in the 70s used to see this bloke in a pub went back to his flat left him on the sofa when I came back from the loo he was sound asleep on the sofa plus he had pissed himself.I made a quick exit ewee nasty.

I've never had a ONS with a stranger.
I did once have sex with my boyfriend's best mate. I have no idea why other than alcohol was involved, I was 18, he was funny.
He also had a very skinny penis, like a long chipolata. He was prone to a bit of premature ejaculation. It was a horrible, horrible experience, I was his first and I can't blame the boy for not knowing what to do but it was just terrible. (Especially as my boyfriend was good! WTH was I thinking?!)

Too many to recount, one which I posted on here and lovely Expat was awake in the middle of the night and made me feel a million times better as I was heartbroken because I loved him and he was a dick.

Then there was a funny one who rolled over after sex and asked if i 'wanted to play xbox'

@CantankerousCamel I also had a ons with a beautiful tree surgeon! Maybe its the same one spreading the love

Was he tattooed by any chance?

Went on a blind date, met a lovely woman, got on really well then back to hers. Later that night when in the middle of a brilliant night there's a knock at the door.

"That's my BF, you have to go". Threw my clothes at me, opens the French doors to the garden and ushers me out. It's about 2am, December and frosty.

I get dressed in the garden listening to the escalating row. Manage to climb over fences, through neighbour's gardens and eventually find my car.

"Well that was a strange night" I think "but I've got my car keys, wallet and pho.........oh crap". Realise phone is on bedside table. Sit in car outside house and eventually BF leaves slamming door behind him. I wait for a while then knock on the door. She answers and hands my phone to me. "You're not going to want to see me again are you?" She asks.

We didn't see each other again.

Oh yes. Went out one night many years ago and broke the rule of never going home with someone except there weren't local so I went back to their hotel. Did the deed which was crap (very small penis) then his mate who he was sharing a room with phone. So spent the night with his mate in the next bed and had to do the walk of shame through a hotel and then get an expensive taxi home 😂

The guy I had fancied for ages in the office. Took him home after a works party. Totally into the foreplay thinking how Greta the night is going to be when suddenly he skips on a condom and ejaculates. Just like that.

The guy who was so pissed he obviously forgot he had a one inch dick. Went all missionary, it obviously wasn't in but he was eager and to be fair I did orgasm thanks to him rubbing the one inch all over me.

The guy who I ended up with once Christmas Eve after the pub chucked out, he lived in a huge house and was well spoken but 'i want to shoot my load right into your womb' just didn't turn me on regardless of accent.

Omg I don't mean to sound prudish but aren't you all scared of catching stds?!! I've never slept with anyone without insisting on seeing their negative std results first. Some guys were surprised I made them get tested first but they did it. But then I was in my teens when aids was exploding so I guess I'm super cautious. I know several people who contracted nasty infections from one night stands and it has always scared me.

Only two, and one doesn't really count as was someone I knew from college.
Second was more traumatic-on the rebound, I was at Paris airport when I discovered one of those dramatic French air traffic controller strikes going on. Big burly American businessman in the queue said he had to get to a meeting in London by next morning, did I want to come with him? I thought "aye, aye" as he was pretty damned attractive. Ended up at the Intercontinental Hotel in Knightsbridge. He was a nice guy but he kept fiddling around down there so ineptly in foreplay whilst saying "Am I hurting you?" that I felt it was as sexy as having a gynae exam from a doctor!!

Oh god. I once broke up with my ex, and went out to get absolutely hammered and forget about him.

I did get hammered. I also went home with a colleague, cried, called him my ex’s name, told him I loved him AND THEN I came on, on his bedsheets.

I literally left at 5am, and then had the shame of having to face him the next day.

Went out drinking with a friend of a friend who was very into me and thought I was a LOVELY girl. Had to stop for a wee in an alley on way home. Staggered and erm landed on bare bum. Got home. Pulled off knickers. Fag butts from the alley fell out. He had premature ejaculation and squirted on my leg. We are still friends now but do NOT mention this night

Omg I don't mean to sound prudish but aren't you all scared of catching stds?!!

I would be now. 25 years ago I accepted a condom as being enough.

I was utterly wild and stupid but think I did use condoms...

I went out with a mate who was determined to have the first of many one-night stands after a bruising break-up when I was 19. I was seeing someone at the time, but got so drunk I decided to go for it and have my own one-night stand. That was 35 years ago. We’ve got two lovely DDs, we’re not married but moved in together within six months of meeting and I’m still calling our relationship the longest one-night stand in history.

I had a ONS. With my best mate from school when I was about twenty. We went clubbing, walked 4 miles back to our village then realised he lived another mile up a hill so he came in, we got down to it and then I locked him in my parents spare room until the morning. when I took him home where his parents were stood outside pacing.
To make things worse I was his 16 year old sisters line manager and their lovely mum was the overbearing type who wanted to meet with me regularly to change the daughters hours and all sorts. the final nail in the coffin I hadn’t used any contraception, so had to get the sister to cover me, ended up going to the doctors for the map (wasn’t available otc iirc) and offering to take next doors six month old for the walk into town (its ten minutes away, and she was a single mum with awful pnd so I often walked her dd round the block so she could relax.) so I’m in the doctors, with a baby, getting the MAP with the most ridiculously loud receptionist saying “PENISB 11 OCLOCK FOR THE EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE” take a seat in the waiting room.
Both my ex boyfriends mum and gran AND ons guys dad are in the surgery and I’m bright pink.
Then exs mother picks up next doors DD out the fucking pram and starts “NICE OF YOU TO TELL US ABOUT OUR GRANDCHILD THEN”

I know as an actual adult now it’s really no buggy but at the time I was gutted
I’d never been so mortified in my life
Such a scene
Such an ordeal
And the sex was only 3/10

Imagine needle-dick (my first and only one) combined with 'you like that don't you?' and that's my worst one. shudder

I have had way too many (always used protection).

First was when I was 17, met this guy, he offered to take me out the next night, had sex in his van, he was very very large, he then took me to a pub with his friends and I could hardly walk