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To ask if you've ever had an awful one night stand?

191 replies

greycrisscross · 16/10/2018 20:48

So on the weekend, a good friend persuaded me to go out which I haven't done in a LONG time. We got very very drunk! she's a bit of a party animal (terrible influence but sure does know how to have a good time)
Anyway I woke up next to the most annoying man ive ever met in my whole life. He was basically professing his love to me and also telling me all about his ex he'd recently split with. It was awful especially combined with a banging hangover. My friend was laughing her head off as I text her whilst I was in the bathroom "PLEASE GET HIM TO LEAVE" it was mortifying!!! Trying to see the funny side of it still and asking have you ever had a really bad one night stand?


OP posts:
BrokenFlipflop · 16/10/2018 20:59

But ..... but how was the sex?? 😁

ChairmanMiaow123 · 16/10/2018 21:02

What Broken said. 😉

WoodlesLove · 16/10/2018 21:05

I once got so pissed and met a guy who's number I got off Tinder...

I fell asleep on him whilst he had his head in my vagina... we didn't get further than that and I crept out in the night! He woke me up midway through him giving me oral sex to ask if I enjoyed it? When he realised I was half asleep, he stopped and rolled over 

Another time I met a guy who took 2 viagra and couldn't open his eyes due to the headache it had given him... I was laid with a stranger in my bed who couldn't speak/open his eyes and I didn't dare move because I wanted him to think I was asleep.

mimibunz · 16/10/2018 21:06

Does doing the walk of shame the next morning count?

cadburyegg · 16/10/2018 21:07

Yes. It was so small I hardly felt it

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 16/10/2018 21:07

Oh god yes. I kicked him out early too because my future DH was arriving to see me that day from many, many miles away Blush

I had to wash the sheets and everything!

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 16/10/2018 21:08

Another time I met a guy who took 2 viagra and couldn't open his eyes due to the headache it had given him..
Continuing on this theme, but the guy I was with had drunk something ridiculous like 8 cans of red bull. Total disaster.

BitchQueen90 · 16/10/2018 21:10

Yes, years ago with a colleague (both single and drunk at a works do).

The sex was awful. Luckily we laughed about it after but it put me off one night stands!

EnglishRose13 · 16/10/2018 21:10

A guy I had a massive crush on as a young teenager invited me back to his house after a night out when I was 19. The one and only time I went home with someone.

He was completely renovating his house so there wasn't even a bed! We had a bit of a fumble, and then he tried to have sex with me, but I wasn't quite ready. It was extremely uncomfortable so he stopped and took the only condom we had off. We both then just went to sleep on a sheet on the floor.

iliketomoveitmoveitMOVEIT · 16/10/2018 21:14

I met a guy online, on a sort of common interest website (nothing exciting, think cars or television programmes or something, not leather and lace!). We had a couple of months of loooong conversations and loads of emails and texts and I really liked him.

Met him at the pub. He was boring, self centred, wearing a dreadful jumper, and much much larger and sweatier than he’d said. Nonetheless we had a few drinks and I thought, maybe the real him is in there somewhere (stupid idiot, moveit, that so clearly was the real him).

Went back to mine. Unbelievably awful. His foreplay was so inept that it actually hurt. He simply couldn’t get it in. Eventually he gave up and fell asleep, snored all night, left in the morning - and was rude about me on the website!

First, last and only one night stand. He put me right off them.

DitheringBlidiot · 16/10/2018 21:14

Oh yes, took a guy home who started going on about god and his crucifix. He then left the crucifix necklace at my house and then messaged to ask for it back. I told him I’d post it.

Stillwishihadabs · 16/10/2018 21:16

Oh yes haven't we all? The sad thing is I really fancied him :(

DitheringBlidiot · 16/10/2018 21:16

And another one where I met him through a friend of my brothers. He kept talking dirty but really really badly so I kept laughing and he got in the huff. Skip forward a few years and he married a friend of mine and now we are good friends.

CantankerousCamel · 16/10/2018 21:20

This guy who kept biting me?!

Was really, really bad at foreplay and I was like ‘why are you doing that?’ And kept on telling me ‘some women like it’ I was saying ‘no, no women like that and if they do you can start gentle and wait for them to bloody invite you to BITE them’ weirdo.

I also had a one night stand with the most beautiful tree surgeon I’d ever seen. He was FABULOUS at it.

LavendarGreen · 16/10/2018 21:20


And another one where I met him through a friend of my brothers. He kept talking dirty but really really badly so I kept laughing and he got in the huff. Skip forward a few years and he married a friend of mine and now we are good friends.


To ask if you've ever had an awful one night stand?
alittlequinnie · 16/10/2018 21:23

I slept with my then boss on a very drunken one night stand straight from the office.

Sex was terrible - I kept doing fanny farts - first and only time - he tried anal without any lube and in the end we were so drunk we just gave up.

Next day at work he wouldn't speak to me and I ended up getting the sack a few weeks later which was no conincidence!

Not my one and only one night stand - but the worst one!

DitheringBlidiot · 16/10/2018 21:24

@lavendar, accurate 😂 add in a few “you like that don’t you” and a few “err not really” though 😂

stellabird · 16/10/2018 21:24

Sure - haven't we all ?

Bimgy85 · 16/10/2018 21:26

Yes lots.
When I was 18 I slept with lots of guys, all of them are awful thinking back

The second guy I had sex with was some scumbag in a nightclub I wen back to a hotel with him and his foreign friend. They were clearly rough and into drugs/selling drugs/ crime etc. the guy spilled his life story to me about losing both parents and having a fucked up childhood. Clearly off his face on drugs, the Romanian or foreign friend tried to 'have me' many times I felt like something in a movie, I remember him saying to the guy I was with 'come on, let me, she's just a girl, there are lots of them' I left the next morning in stupid heels and obviously couldn't stop thinking about the guy, being young and all. He rang me once and never again, I was constantly texting him.

Another, I was absolutely black out drunk and met some guy I can't even remember in a nightclub, it was a student night. Before the peak of the night we went back to their student house, had horrible drunk sex in a room with a door open while the friends walked past and laughed, in the other room they robbed my cigarettes from my bag,

Afterwards, they all told me to leave and walked me to the door. I cried leaving and smashed my brand new phone off the ground. and when I went down the road I seen a guy and asked him for a lighter, I ended up going back to his house.. two in one night. Giving me a little bit of hope, this guy was actually sweet and gave me a lift home the next morning because it was lashing rain.

Oh fuck. The worst one. Trying to rack my brain thinking of more, there are so many it's hard to remember.
I was at a friend of a friends wedding do. A gay wedding in a large house. As usual, I got nearly blind drunk, vague snippets of walking into an attic with my tights down, then memories of walking through a field barefoot to this rotten guys house, where it was so messy, and smelly and I dunno if there was a sheet on the bed. He was a past boyfriend of my friends mum and also he had slept with the gay couple. He was a 'anything goes' guy. He clearly took pure advantage of the fat drunk girl. I walked back to the wedding house the next day to find my tights and bag. We ended up staying for a bit of a party, he didn't even look at me for the day or night.

Sorry, this thread just racked lots of memories. I was an insecure, wild in a bad way, holy terror when I was 17/18. It has faded me as a person, I'm in a long term relationship now and do not have a sexuality really, never enjoyed exploring sex or similar after several experiences, my poor normal partner never realised why I don't initiate sex or enjoy to please him.

I think I must see a therapist at some point to delve through all my self destructing memories in order to move forward in my life, as all my younger actions have brought extreme anxiety, introverted ness and paranoia.

So sorry for the ridiculously long post but it felt good to get it out.

afrikat · 16/10/2018 21:27

Oh god, so many back in the day. At least 3 that are mortifying looking back but the worst was probably the Italian waiter I took home. He had lube with him. As in, he'd taken it on a random night out in case he hooked up. It really creeped me out and I had to make up an early parental visit to get rid of him

My saddest one was with a guy I completely adored but I knew he didn't feel the same way about me. I creeped out the next morning and cried all the way home as I knew it was a one night thing and I lurved him.

LavendarGreen · 16/10/2018 21:28



Reminds me of the thread on here once ......Penetration Man.....

LavendarGreen · 16/10/2018 21:29

Sorry @Bimgy85 but your thread made me LOL! Grin


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LavendarGreen · 16/10/2018 21:29

I mean your POST sorry Bimgy!

PenelopeChipShop · 16/10/2018 21:29

Yeah we all have, don’t beat yourself up! My most recent bad one was with a guy who actually is extremely nice. So I feel a bit bad recounting it. But it was the definition of TOO nice. ‘Is this ok?’ ‘Is that ok?’ ‘What shall I do now?’ ‘We’ve got all night’ (this last one when it was already midnight and tbh I was just like ‘will you just do it already so I can sleep after’.

The other tht stands out is 20 years ago! I fancied him SO much but when he found out I was a virgin he wouldn’t do it and just cuddled me. I was really frustrated.

I’ve literally just realised there’s a common thread here!!! What’s with the over nice guys. Shame the one I married wasn’t GrinSadShock

iliketomoveitmoveitMOVEIT · 16/10/2018 21:30

This is going to end up in “the sun”, isn’t it? Sad

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