Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 8 yo home alone?

221 replies

hibbledibble · 23/09/2018 20:56

I've looked up legislation and guidance on this, but there is surprisingly little.

She is sensible, our home has wired fire alarms throughout, and has recently been signed off by building regs. We know lots of neighbours.

Would it be unreasonable for her to be home alone for short periods eg 20 minutes? She is keen.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/09/2018 20:57

To do what?

LusaCole · 23/09/2018 20:57

I have a very sensible nearly 9yo and I wouldn't leave him at home alone yet. I started leaving my older child from age 10.

Haggisfish · 23/09/2018 20:57

Is she really though? My dd is keen but instantly is not so keen when I actually leave!

Itchytights · 23/09/2018 20:58

Nope. Eight is too little.

For what exactly??

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 23/09/2018 20:58

I wouldn't dream of doing this.

ChanklyBore · 23/09/2018 20:59

I was and would be fine with this. Knowing my home and children.

If you are fine with it, knowing yours, great.

formerbabe · 23/09/2018 20:59

No I wouldn't do this.

NotANotMan · 23/09/2018 20:59

I've been leaving mine since 8 for short periods, such as popping to the local shops (no more than 1.5 miles away) and it was fine.
You know your kid, your neighbours, your home, potential hazards etc much better than we do. Make an informed decision.

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/09/2018 20:59

Yes yabu.

RedHelenB · 23/09/2018 20:59

Depends where you'll be and for how long.

Jimdandy · 23/09/2018 20:59

I would for 20 minutes to nip for some milk or something like that. Not for any longer.

overagain · 23/09/2018 21:00

I wouldn't. There is very little legislation about it however if something were to happen it's very difficult to argue a child under 10 has the maturity to be left alone.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 23/09/2018 21:00

For what? There is no pressing need, it's just to start giving her some independence. At her age I was popping to the corner shop alone etc. We would be local.

OP posts:
scunner · 23/09/2018 21:01

Yes, it would be most unreasonable and very worrying as to why you need to leave a young child by herself.

Happyandshiney · 23/09/2018 21:03

Eight is too young in my opinion.

lifecouldbeadream · 23/09/2018 21:04

Having 2 children older than that, I’d say it depends on the child. The thing you need to consider is not- will they be ok watching tv for 20 mins..... because the answer to that is undoubtedly yes. What you need to think about is what their decision making is like. How sensible could they be if something very out of the ordinary happens. Even my (very sensible) 14 year old..... doesn’t always make the decision you might expect. It’s only when the unexpected crops up, that you realise how far they have to go to be ready to leave home.

ittakes2 · 23/09/2018 21:08

Too young - even a very sensible 8 year old would not know what to do if something out of the ordinary happened.

JennyOnAPlate · 23/09/2018 21:10

Too young. We started leaving dd1 at 10.

ChanklyBore · 23/09/2018 21:12

Most kids are playing out/walking to the post box or local shop etc at 8, and many will be walking to and from school too - or will be in the not too distant future. Most kids by 8 are able to operate in the home without adult supervision - sure, if you want them to actually do anything like homework or housework you’ll be standing over them guiding their every muscle step by frustrating step! But generally getting up in the morning, sending them upstairs to play, putting a dvd on for them and getting on with something at the other side of the house, or garden, they have the freedom to move around the house and garden as they like, and I suspect are often in spaces you are not for well over 20 minutes at a time. They are left at classes and birthday parties, can swim without an adult, use changing rooms without an adult to get changed.

I don’t see why you can’t leave them at home for 20 minutes if they are willing.

LusaCole · 23/09/2018 21:46

Chankly, at my DC's school they're not allowed to walk home from school until year 5.

Sassielassie · 23/09/2018 21:48

I suppose you have to ask the yourself the question.. What happens if something happens to her if i go out? Can you reasonably justify it with...well for goodness sake, shes 8, she should have been responsible and managed on her own! ... That might help with your decision.

LesLavandes · 23/09/2018 21:51

No. I would not do this. She is much too young

Dhalandchips · 23/09/2018 21:51

I'd have no problem with it if she's a sensible 8yo. You know her.

MarthasGinYard · 23/09/2018 21:55

No

I have a sensible 8 yo dc

No chance

thisneverendingsummer · 23/09/2018 21:55

Words fail me! Shock

Yes of course 8 is old enough to leave at home for 20 minutes. She's not a baby. Shocked at posters saying no WAY would they do it! Confused

They're talking, and acting like the kid is 3 or 4. She is "much too young...?!" WTF? No wonder young adults are soft snowflakes these days, who are scared of their own shadow, if their mothers are treating them like toddlers at EIGHT years old!