To leave my 8 yo home alone?

[hibbledibble]

I've looked up legislation and guidance on this, but there is surprisingly little.

She is sensible, our home has wired fire alarms throughout, and has recently been signed off by building regs. We know lots of neighbours.

Would it be unreasonable for her to be home alone for short periods eg 20 minutes? She is keen.

I leave my 8 yr old. To walk to the post box or shop (either ends of the road) And to collect her sister from nursery (15 mins round trip) Agast so many of you think this is wrong! Mind you I remember a thread when mums were horrified at locking a baby in their car at a petrol station while they went 10m and paid

Oblomov18, the youngest in year turned 9 on 31st Aug. My own DD is not 10 until next summer.

I wouldn't be exploring a parent leaving an 8 year old for 20 minutes in a professional capacity, unless there were other issues that concerned me. But certainly not in isolation. And I work in safeguarding too.

I'm concerned that your daughter is 'keen to be left home alone - makes me think she has an ulterior motive. Jesus wept, seriously? You mean, an ulterior motive like wanting to be grown up and independent?! Silliness like this makes me realise that the biggest danger of leaving your 8yo for 20 mins is coming to the attentions of an official busybody with weird ideas about children and their motivations.

I think ten mins is fine, then gradually increase the time.

frogsoup - agree! DO NOT answer the door will be drummed home harder. 👩‍🏫

@CrabbyPatty could you elaborate?

My 8 year old's most likely motive would be sneak a biscuit or watch the same episode of Henry Danger yet again.

You sound bizarrely suspicious about a young child.

I also find the insinuation that an 8 year old would have a suspicious ulterior motive very strange. At most my DD wants to sneak some extra screen time in.

I read recently that this generation of children (iGen) are the most protected of all generations to date. It’s no wonder many people think an 8 year old can’t be left seeing as many have been brought up to be so sheltered. But refreshing to see that some parents are bucking the trend and helping to encourage a safe level of independence. I wonder also if our culture of excessive protection and safeguarding ( let’s explore more Crabby about an 8 year old’s ‘ulterior motives’) is fuelling some of the anxiety we are now seeing so much more of in both children AND parents.

Crazy replies, safeguarding issue for 20 minutes really!? What about if I was outside cleaning the car for half an hour is that a safeguarding issue? What about chatting to the neighbour outside? Few doors down in the local shop?

I grew up on a farm and my parents were out all the time, still on the property though apart from if they nipped to the shop. Is that a safeguarding issue?

Maybe I've misunderstood what safeguarding is and taking this too personal but I've done the questions on NSPC and even more confident that leaving my son for 15/20 mins while I go to the other side of the village is FINE

It doesn’t just happen the morning of their 8th birthday and then bang, you’re booking winter sun tickets to an adult only beach resort . As a PP said, they wake up at 7am on a Saturday, fetch their own breakfast and watch a bit of TV. The dog comes down, they let him out and back in. They wake up the smaller DCs and give them cereal. Bowls get put in the dishwasher, milk back in the fridge. You come down expecting cereal carnage and are pleasantly surprised. That afternoon, they’re reading their book and don’t want to come to the shop with you. They assure you they’ll be fine.

Not read all if the posts. I personally think 8 is too young - I work in safeguarding and whilst I'm not saying that you need to be referred to a Social Worker if I found this out in a professional capacity I would definitely want to explore this further.. I am a social worker and I think it's fine, I have left my kiddo since 8 years old and now at 10 he gets the bus home alone, let's himself in and waits for 45 minutes

My friend left her year 6 child (can't remember if he was 10 or 11) home alone for an hour or two and there was an attempted burglary - no car in the drive, so the burglars assumed the house was empty. Luckily they ran away when they saw that someone was in the house, but he was obviously pretty shaken. Imagine if the poor kid had been 8!

And imagine if the same had happened but the adult had been in the attic... Or that you'd taken them with you and got hit by a car...Or that an asteroid hit the house. Chances of a burglary in any given 20 minute period is just not one of the risks you should take into account in this kind of scenario if your risk detector is working correctly. At the level of risk sensitivity you are describing, you'd never let the kids leave their beds.

I feel so sorry for the kids of today. We were so lucky in our first house because loads of children played out the front. I’ve got some great videos of my 2 yr old getting pulled along the street on a skateboard with a piece of string by a load of older kids all laughing their heads off etc. Kids have been doing this stuff for as long as we can imagine. Playing with all different ages and different families is so character building for them in my opinion. Then the year 2000 comes along and boom, suddenly you’re a bad parent to let your kids play out of leave them on their own for 5 minutes. Kids playing out in the street are suddenly breaching everyone else’s peace and kids letting themselves in the house with a key before about 15 are neglected!? Suddenly people seem to believe there’s a paedophile round every corner!? Yet the reality is those paedophiles are actually picking kids up via that safe little box (computer) in that safe little bedroom. I know there are neglectful parents out there but most of here are probably like me. Yes we are a bit fearful, yes sometimes if our kids are playing out or left alone we think “Jesus if something happened I’d never forgive myself” but we try to over ride that fear because we truly believe that this is no life for the kids of today.

Vinyl it may depend where you live. Where I am at least half the kids walk/ride to school alone. After school the streets are full of kids playing.

Vinylsamso Thank you Thankyou!!

Everything you say is so true. There has been a big price to pay in the quality of childhood for the massive increase in measures to protect children in general. Yes there have been areas where more needed to be done to increase safety and accountability in the care of children in schools and clubs. All necessary - I’m not against it. Things like wearing a bike helmet which we never did as kid - all great sensible things that reduce risk. But how please how have we ended up with the climate of fear that we currently have? Where people fret about leaving their child alone for 20 minutes above the age of 8. Of course the age will vary between children - not all 8 year olds are as capable - but we should be trusted and empowered as parents to create independent children who can take on these things without thinking of every damn possibility ever that could happen.

Thank you for the balanced replies here. There have been so many bonkers replies: I do wonder what all these children who are never allowed any independence or responsibility will do when they are adults.

What will happen is that by 14/15 years old they’ll be on medication for anxiety (like so many are now) because they will never have learned to deal with things on their own without a helicopter parent over their shoulder. This is happening now and it’s terrifying when you think of the future for these poor overprotected children. Let them grow up.

I've just started leaving my 10yo, only for 5-10 minutes whilst I pop to a neighbours for example. I'm in the village close to home. I think that if I lived within a 5 minute walk to a shop I would, though.