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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A wedding one - children 'begging'

216 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 02/09/2018 20:00

I went to a wedding yesterday, fairly lavish, although the night do guests had to pay for their own seats on the bus at £5 each way. That's not my AIBU though - there were 2 flower girls, sisters who are 6&7, nieces of the bride. There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes. They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table. There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging? Surely the bride and groom give the presents to flower girls and bridesmaids as a thank you?! I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?

OP posts:
Winterfellismyhome · 02/09/2018 20:03

That is so weird. How is it a thank you to get the guests to give them money?

1CantPickAName · 02/09/2018 20:04

Just weird!

foodiefil · 02/09/2018 20:05

Urgh

DanSullivan · 02/09/2018 20:05

That is really weird!

peachypetite · 02/09/2018 20:05

God, how grabby can you get.

CharlieWork · 02/09/2018 20:05

I've never heard of this!

Fairypiggy · 02/09/2018 20:06

Sounds a bit tacky.

CharltonLido73 · 02/09/2018 20:06

What is it with weddings that all good sense and common decency seems to go out of the window?
Poor show!

NonaGrey · 02/09/2018 20:06

That’s very weird. It’s the Bride’s responsibility to thank the bridesmaids.

Apart from anything else, what are the guests thanking the flower girls for - looking cute?

Inforthelonghaul · 02/09/2018 20:06

Wonder if they got to keep all the money or just got a cut. Either way it’s awful.

hidinginthenightgarden · 02/09/2018 20:06

That is so inappropriate. A £5 piece of jewellery is a thank you - why are the guests thanking them?

Fatted · 02/09/2018 20:07

I have never heard of this before. It basically is grabbing and begging.

Thesearmsofmine · 02/09/2018 20:08

Tacky! And evening guests having to pay for the transport???

PositiveVibez · 02/09/2018 20:08

Omg. Shocking. We are half Scottish and when we go to a Scottish wedding or the Scots come down here (for family weddings, kilts are worn), they usually put a few coins in the kids sporran, but I've never heard of kids going table to table asking for money.

PawneeParksDept · 02/09/2018 20:09

Gross. I would have said "sorry I've got no change" regardless of whether it was true

AndromedaPerseus · 02/09/2018 20:09

CFers I’ve heard it all now

LemonSqueezy0 · 02/09/2018 20:09

That's so horrific! I hope it doesn't catch on.. Isn't the idea is that the bride and groom get them a keep-sake gift as a thank you? Not classy at all...

EmeraldVillage · 02/09/2018 20:10

Oh that is horrid. I’d be mortified if it happened to me.

Rainatnight · 02/09/2018 20:10

Yuck

Powerbunting · 02/09/2018 20:10

Very weird.

Urbanbeetler · 02/09/2018 20:11

We used to scramble for pennies in Scotland at weddings (1960s), thrown by guests and the bride and groom. It had its own verb - scrambling.

We weren’t guests though - just local hopefuls who turned up at the right time as they were all leaving church!

This sounds weird.

Havaina · 02/09/2018 20:13

Cunts

SauvignonBlanche · 02/09/2018 20:15

Sounds awful! Shock

AstralTraveller · 02/09/2018 20:17

What Havaina said, in a nutshell.

Bluelady · 02/09/2018 20:17

How low can people sink?

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