A wedding one - children 'begging'

[GunpowderGelatine]

I went to a wedding yesterday, fairly lavish, although the night do guests had to pay for their own seats on the bus at £5 each way. That's not my AIBU though - there were 2 flower girls, sisters who are 6&7, nieces of the bride. There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes. They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table. There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging? Surely the bride and groom give the presents to flower girls and bridesmaids as a thank you?! I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?

At the back or passed around it varies from church to church.

That's so tacky, how embarrassing.

Weird and offensive. I would have gone to the loo to avoid that rubbish.

@FabLaura what a lovely flower girl gift!

I also enjoyed scrambling at weddings (NE England) in the 1980s. Never anything like this and it didn’t happen at the wedding I attended last weekend, thank heavens.

To clarify - B&G are white British

Tacky!
Surely the couple should be thanking them for their ‘duties’ as it was their wedding!

Guests have already shelled out for transport, accom and gifts without being guilted into giving kids cash too.

YANBU - a collection for the flower girls is foul and I hope it doesn't catch on.

Sounds like they are just CFs, I’d avoid especially they have kids. No doubt will wants gifts before and after baby is born.

Ha! What class! 😳

Never heard of this one before and I go to a load of weddings (huge family). I hope this isn't a new thing.

I agree the begging is weird but I don't get the issue with the transport? I've NEVER been to a wedding where I'd expect the bride and groom to pay for me to get there?

Whaaaat..... That's so grabby! I would be shocked at that. Were people muttering about it as it happened? At an absolute stretch I can imagine one greedy person suggesting something like that but I can't ever imagine how this was planned... I just can't imagine someone ever suggesting something like this and other people actually agreeing to do it!! So odd... Thy have no shame clearly!

Oh well a funny memory you can look back on and laugh at I suppose?!

Wayoutinthewater
I always put money in the pram of a newborn.

Why on earth would the guests thank the flower girls for doing a good job , it doesn't even make sense as they were only doing a job for the bride and groom so any and all thanks should come from them only! I wouldn't have given, I would have said I didn't have any change, stupid idea.

I’m gobsmacked. What a cheek!

Very tacky and grabby.

The flower girls collecting sounds very odd. The church passing around a collection plate is pretty normal ime.

Grabby and vulgar

I don't like the sound of that at all. When I got married my friend's DD was flower girl. She was about 8 at the time and hugely into dolphins, so I bought her a chain with a dolphin in it. She was delighted.
I'd certainly never have sent her round asking for money!
Have never seen this at any wedding. I hope it's not a new trend.

i would email the bride to say "lovely day blah blah" and such a cute idea doing a collection for charity, via the flower girls and (name of their mum) - but you were sorry but didn't catch what the charity was and didn't have any coins on you so wanted to make a donation direct.

Let her explain it wasn't for any charity explicitly.

(i'd have said i have no change at that stage, cheeky people, the B&G buy a gift for flower girls or bridesmaids, not the guests!)

Bizarre, beyond bizarre. And paying for seats on the bus ??

It does seem odd but DD(9) was a bridesmaid recently and at the reception she made quite a bit out of various people giving her money for doing such a good job - the bride and groom had asked her to try and keep the little kids occupied during the reception though so I suspect a lot of that was actually parents who were just grateful for a bit of peace.

the married couple are supposed to get the flower girls a gift.
this is weird and grabby..