A wedding one - children 'begging'

[GunpowderGelatine]

I went to a wedding yesterday, fairly lavish, although the night do guests had to pay for their own seats on the bus at £5 each way. That's not my AIBU though - there were 2 flower girls, sisters who are 6&7, nieces of the bride. There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes. They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table. There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging? Surely the bride and groom give the presents to flower girls and bridesmaids as a thank you?! I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?

I've never been to a wedding where they have passed round money boxes but I did go to a Christening where they did that. I thought it was awful - people had brought presents for the baby and then were being pressured to give money as well.

Do you mean money boxes were passed around inside the church? That is standard practice to give an offering to the church not money that goes to child or family.

Intresting to hear the various regional variations of a scramble.

Like many others on here I thought you were going to find a scramble unreasonable but what you describe is appalling; if I had been the Mum I would have refused to take the kids round

Because weddings aren't expensive enough for guests

Tacky. Really tacky. How could the bride think this was ok?

That's tacky! There's a thread running now about not receiving a thank you for weddings gifts and plenty are chiming in on how they didn't do them as they were busy after the wedding.

Yanbu OP. That’s vile!

ARe you sure it wasn’t a charity collection

Definitely not a charity collection (I've since made enquiries 😂 and one of those girls mentioned buying a rabbit).

There's a thread running now about not receiving a thank you for weddings gifts and plenty are chiming in on how they didn't do them as they were busy after the wedding.

Of course! Spend hundreds on going to someone's party and they're too busy to say ta 🙄 that's another thing - the bride and groom didn't come round the tables once to say hello or thanks for coming. I don't want to be patted on the head or anything but one little thanks is the courteous hint to do?

Grabby as fuck

Poor etiquette. The mum should not have allowed this.

Great. What did they do for evening entertainment? Take them round the local area door to door?

@urbanbeetler - pretty much totally unrelated to this post but we used to chuck our marbles down the street (this was early 80s) and everyone would go running after them (not a clue why we did this, I loved my marble collection!) but when we did it we'd shout "SCRAMBLES!!!!".

As to this collecting money thing at the wedding, yuck, unless it was for a close and meaningful charity, is dreadful.

Incredibly lacking in class

My DD was the only bridesmaid (age 6) at my cousins wedding many years ago, she ended up coming home with about £100 in coins, the more drunk people got, the more money they gave her! Absolutely none of it was asked for however, she was the only child there and almost everyone gave her a “penny for a sweetie” (yes, we are a Scottish). I did try to stop it at the beginning of the night but was fighting a losing battle

Seriously very, very strange and socially unacceptable at a wedding. It makes the bride and groom look like complete twats and will probably be what everyone remembers about the wedding 😯 That said, I never feel pressure to hand over any money in life so as a 'token' I would have given a penny. Just that.

That is really quite odd! Are there any other cultural influences coming into play? Was wondering if it might be a traditional from another country that the bride or groom have a connection too? Even if that is the case, sounds really quite forced and awkward if no-one understands or is expecting it.

“penny for a sweetie”

Aw the memories haven't heard that for years😂😂

Weird.

Unless it's a custom from the bride or groom's home or family culture, that's really, really weird.

AvoidingDM - no the money box was passed around in the pub afterwards, not in the church. I don't remember whether or not there was an offering in the church or whether it was a plate at the back but this was nothing to do with that. It was at the "reception" afterwards.

Odd and very grabby. I would be so embarrassed to have any involvement in something this ridiculous.

Wow. I’d have been tempted to “misunderstand” and take some cash out of the box, just for divilment.
Utterly shameless, to pass the hat around at a Christening

Classless

No the money box was passed around in the pub afterwards, not in the church....It was at the "reception" afterwards

Seriously that is just wrong. I'm debating is its rude or cheeky.

I'm another who finds it rude not to send a proper thank-you for wedding or new baby gifts.
Yes I appreciate after a new baby people are busy but how hard is it to get a bundle of thank-you cards printed with a baby picture on them. Write who it's to sign and chuck in a post box?
You get so many new baby gifts from people who may not actually see the baby (Granny's neighbours etc) that its a nice way for them to see the baby.