A wedding one - children 'begging'

[GunpowderGelatine]

I went to a wedding yesterday, fairly lavish, although the night do guests had to pay for their own seats on the bus at £5 each way. That's not my AIBU though - there were 2 flower girls, sisters who are 6&7, nieces of the bride. There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes. They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table. There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging? Surely the bride and groom give the presents to flower girls and bridesmaids as a thank you?! I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?

never heard of that one before the bride is supposed to give a little gift such as jewellery or similar keepsake very tacky

Amazed the Mum condoned this. Definitely weird. Bride's responsibility to reward attendants not guests. Hope this isn't the latest mad trend going on with weddings.

that sounds the same as putting a coin in a new purse or wallet for luck putting money in a sporren

Really tacky. The £5 each way charge for the coach for the evening guests wasn't great either. Was that per person, or per couple? I presume that you had to buy your own drinks when you got there too?

I would of just refused, it's the wedding couples responsibility.

They have no shame!!! thats so cheeky, i can't even imagine that

I grew up in Edinburgh and I think we called it a poor-oot?

Yes, I grew up in Midlothian and we called it a poor-oot too.

I can't remember if it was thrown after the church service, or when the bride left her home with her father in the car to head for the church.

There was a lot of giving money for luck in Scotland, the child's sporran, silver in the new baby's pram and to this day I wouldn't give a purse as a present without a coin or two in it.

Asking for money - never.

How dreadful! Bad Taste or what!!

I've never been to a wedding where they have passed round money boxes but I did go to a Christening where they did that. I thought it was awful - people had brought presents for the baby and then were being pressured to give money as well.

I remember going to a family wedding in the 80's and remember the family collecting up all the copper we could because the local children would hold a rope across the road in front of the wedding cars and we had to throw them money to be allowed to continue.

Cheap tacky and utterly lacking in class.
It never ceases to amaze me how some couples expect the guests to cough up for wedding favours.
If you can't afford a lavish wedding don't have one.
I would have been livid.

I'm so embarrassed for them. WTF.

Really gross behaviour who comes up with such shite??

My cousins used to do this regularly whenever anyone visited, my mum still seethes about it 🤣

She made a killing that night all the drunk friends and relatives giving her cash as she handed them round.

as children in Scotland we'd make a fortune at Hogmany going round all the adults in the house and offering them a fag from a Christmas pack of 50.

That's awful.

I remember the "scramble" too as a child growing up, round our way it was something the father of the bride did as they left home on the way to the church. The woman next door but one got married when I was about 8, all the money thrown was pennies, 2p, the odd 5p. I made about 40p and was SO chuffed, that was about 3 Mars bars.

you really didn't know that church services always include a collection being passed?

I think it was a church collection too, not money for the family. Only the church ushers would have access to the collection plates.

I went to a service at a friend's church (RC) when I was a teenager. They took the collection, brought it up to the front where the priest looked at it, judged it inadequate, and told the ushers to pass it around again.

As to the wedding grabbyness, I think it's more out of control on your side of the pond. I just can't imagine a bride here sanctioning a flower girl collection during the reception. The only thing left seems to be selling tickets.

Urbanbeetler I remember scrambling too although I remember it being when the bride was leaving her house and her dad came out and threw all the coins. Sounds weird describing it 😂😂

I loved a good scrammy.

Happy Days, and yes we were happy with enough to buy a mars bar or the likes.

Scottish here too and yes to the scramble (for local kids, not wedding guests) and also not uncommon to pop some coins in little boys sporrans. Getting the flower girls to go round with a begging bowl is weird and grabby. If she'd simply had them carry little bags or something then they would have made a killing without asking.

Toe curlingly embarrassing. How bloody awful.

isnt it up to bride and groom to thank them not guests?

In Ireland the scramble thing is called a grushie...
But the coins are thrown by the father of the bride, how it that in any way related to sending some of the wedding party among the guests with begging bowls?
And little kids, that you can’t say no to?
Spectacularly tacky.

Jesus, I thought a £1 in the pot was for strip clubs. How tacky.

grasping and frankly strange

They usually get a necklace or something from bride and groom.

That's really odd - they weren't flower girls for the guests