A wedding one - children 'begging'

[GunpowderGelatine]

I went to a wedding yesterday, fairly lavish, although the night do guests had to pay for their own seats on the bus at £5 each way. That's not my AIBU though - there were 2 flower girls, sisters who are 6&7, nieces of the bride. There was an announcement after the wedding breakfast that, as a thank you for their flower girl duties, they will be going around tables collecting money in their money boxes. They then went round with their Mum, an older bridesmaid, and basically begged from each table. There were about 80 people there, 8 on our table and we all gave (because how can you say no to a 6yo!) anything from £1-£5 each.

AIBU to think this is a bit weird and basically begging? Surely the bride and groom give the presents to flower girls and bridesmaids as a thank you?! I think they could have skipped the candy floss stand, or one of the numerous other things they'd brought in, and used the money to buy the flower girls a present themselves?

I had a “hoy oot” at my wedding 22 years ago. The gathered children just stared at the coins then back at my dad and me as if we were mad!!

Sounds like the bride was too mean to buy them a present as a thank you, so figured out a way to get the guests to pay?

How tacky. Clearly the B&G have no manners.

Eurgh...that’s an absolutely horrible thing to do

Thats ridiculous I thought you were going to say they went around the tables scavenging after dinner mints and the little plastic gems used as table confetti which my kids seem to see s their duty after any celebration meal. But to go around with their money box! Thats disgusting!

I went to a wedding where the favours where a small shot glass filled with green jelly beans. The young bridesmaids went round the tables with a big bag and grabbed as many as they could (beans and glasses) and then asked people to pay to guess how many jelly beans were in the bag (not that they’d counted them). So no one got to take their favour home which had been intended as a keepsake, the glass at least. I thought that was a bit off

Completely different situation, I went to a wedding last year where the groom's disabled brother had sadly passed away shortly before the wedding. After the speeches, they spoke of brother and our amazing hospice. there was a spontaneous collection raising over £800 and ruining a lot of makeup. It was beautiful. Bridesmaids begging- no - awful!

Two odd socks traditional in our village to tie the church gates shut and the groom throws coins to the local children to untie them. Sweet tradition I got coins as a kids and happy memory of gates being tied for us too. English tradition as seen in sense and sensibility (based my own wedding on that film )

That’s lovely lastseeninadressinggown. Kind of completely the opposite of the bridesmaids and their money boxes.

FGS, if you can afford to put on a big wedding, at least budget for a little silver necklace for your bridesmaids and flower girls.

Hahahahaha the couple were CFs and too tight to buy a thank you gift for the poor girls

Sounds really tacky.

Wow I am cringing so much at this.

Who wants to place odds on this story ending up in daily mail

This is one thread I'd actually like the Daily Fail to pick up on!

Any Scots know where the Scramble tradition started?

I'm sure it must be a luck thing.

**No thanks love, I thought the flower girl's at Uncle John's wedding were better, you could have skipped ffs.

My gran couldn't walk down the street without crossing a new babies palm with silver. I actually really liked that tradition.

The point is, with all of these traditions, is that they are neither expected or requested. It's completely at the givers discretion.

My gran couldn't walk down the street without crossing a new babies palm with silver. I actually really liked that tradition.

Yes - traditions like hanselling a new purse/wallet for someone is both charming and voluntary. Is it Ray Mears or someone who has the traditional practice: "if somebody gives you a knife, you must give them a silver coin lest the blade cut a friendship".

Urgggggh.

When I was a child the heir to the nearby big estate and title was married and new shilling coins were thrown by the groom to the people waiting to see him and the new Countess coming out of church. That was Wiltshire and about forty years ago.

I sort of remember something similar happening at weddings when I was a kid in the 70s. Not so organised or announced though, it was mainly pissed up adults giving a bit of change to the page boys/bridesmaids as the day wore on. Probably through a fug of sentimentality and alcohol but also to get them to run errands for packets of fags from those machines in pub corridors or peanuts from the bar

I went to the wedding reception of a friend. Her cousins little girl aged around 10/12 Sang a song on stage egged on by the d.j. he then encouraged all the male guests to give her a quid for her performance. My friend did not know he was going to suggest this and felt a little bit embarrassed but all the men gave the money (some more th at a quid) and I recall she made about £150! This was in northern Ireland around 7/8 years ago.

Very weird and very rude of the bride and groom. THEY should be thanking them for being bridesmaids at THEIR wedding! Cheeky fucks.

Not my flower girls, not on my dollar! I'd as

*i'd just say I have no change. It's a cheek & the responsibility of the bride. If she can't afford it, she oughtn't have had flower girls. Did she want a cheque for a wedding present?

I’ve seen little boys in kilts getting money from random wedding guests. But not going round begging like that. How odd.