I’m “cheating” because DS is going to private school 🙄

[cinderellaeggs]

MIL just found out that DS is going to private school and announced that we are “cheating” and it’s “not fair” because SIL’s children can’t go.

It’s not a competition!

Don’t give it a second thought! Your child, your decision!

YANBU. But your MIL is. I'm guessing your SIL is her daughter (rather than your husband's brother's wife.

cheating in what? Who’s the best GC competition? Crazy.

What is it cheating exactly?? If MIL feels so strongly maybe she can pay for all of the grandchildren to go private

Whatever education choices you make for your children, someone will tell you are wrong.

Just do what you think is right.

AhhhhThatsBass yes that’s it.

She also thinks tutoring is cheating and passing the 11+ is cheating and taking the children to a museum or local history spot in the holidays to review or get a jump on a school project is cheating.

Ridiculous, I went to a rubbish school and husband and his brother were privately educated, I've done far better than both of them. My brother went to a dreadful Sxhool (different to mine) and he's really successful and very academic - had to work for it but did well and been consultant doctor for years
It's about building confidence and drive into your children and making them realise you need to work to get back a good life, at everything not just work

Cheating? That's so juvenile, I would have laughed out loud.

Booking tickets for anything in advance is cheating also🤔

Cheating at what?
Your parenting decision, it's up to you to decide on where they go to school, surely?

Oh she just like having a go!
Smile and wave!

Dd goes to private school and she loves it!

Oh dear. YANBU op. I think this is pure jealousy, frankly. Let her inwardly steam. Daft woman.

I will smile and wave!

This is such nonsense. Don’t give it any head space.

What a very odd attitude for a grandmother to have. You'd think she'd be happy for her grandchildren to get a good education. Sad.

I take it that SIL's children are favoured?

It's envy.

Ask her what she thinks you are cheating at?

Did you not know parenting is a game, and the parents with the children who turn out to have the highest paying jobs and look the most beautiful are the winners?

Oh I’ve encountered someone like this before. Anything ‘extra’ you do with your child is somehow unfair on her children - trips, classes, planning nice craft activities at home, cooking proper meals from scratch, I could go on. Smile and nod!

Booking tickets in advance is cheating?? That’s hilarious. Is that not just being organised??

I would love to know the backstory that lead to this comment! Did she not get tickets to something that you ‘cheated’ at?

Ignore her, she is talking rubbish, silly woman.

I think just smiling is the best way to deal with this. There are lots of ways we can help our children including the basics not all children get of love, smiles, cuddles and fun. It is not wrong to do things that are good for the children and if you have found a school that suits you and your child that's great.

You could turn it round and say it is cheating to burden the state with the cost of educating a child in the state system - which can be about £7000 a year when instead you could pay fees and that £7k could be used to help less fortunate children. The cheating is arguably stealing state school places and in effect money from the mouths of the less well off when you can afford to pay.