I’m “cheating” because DS is going to private school 🙄

[cinderellaeggs]

MIL just found out that DS is going to private school and announced that we are “cheating” and it’s “not fair” because SIL’s children can’t go.

It’s not a competition!

As mentioned there are loads of threads and pages and pages of evidence mostly in the form of newspaper articles on studies done; pick just about any one:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3276276-to-ask-how-do-private-schools-produce-such-confident-kids-adults-and-how-I-can-do-it-at-home
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/education/3312953-Can-you-be-a-leftie-and-use-private-schools-Are-people-prejudiced-against-the-privately-educated?msgid=79615841
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/2972941-state-schools-eclipse-eton-in-rankings-for-a-level-science
et cetera

This attitude baffles me. I completely understand that people are irked when wealthier people have advantages, but why such vitriol against education? The people who object don;t have similar objections to the gross housing unfairness. they don't all move to high crime rate sink estates where people are scared to leave their homes just so their DC don't have an unfair advantage over children who are raised there. They don't refuse to buy books or extracurricular classes because other children's parents can;t afford the, They don't live on a diet of high fat and sugar, low fresh food and protein because some children exist on this due to poverty. They don't reject foreign travel, visits to restaurants, theatres, cinemas, good quality clothing etc. Why is there rage against private education but not other equally discriminating circumstances?

@THEsonofaBITCH

Bollocks.

Agree with her on the tutoring. What's the point in practicing to pass an exam from the age of 5 or 6 like kids round here do, when it's supposed to test how intelligent you are. You either got it or you don't. They're changing ours to be "untutorable" and I think it's great.

Private school is a personal decision though, she sounds a bit batshit

Is you SIL struggling money wise a bit?

Some parents work all hours, go without and have only one child in order to be able to to afford private school fees. Why isn't your SIL doing that?

As mentioned there are loads of threads and pages and pages of evidence mostly in the form of newspaper articles on studies done; pick just about any one - very suspicious!

Bollocks
what part? I don't agree with the "proofs" obviously but that is where most of the education threads on Mumsnet seem to end with those saying private is evil and should be abolished and it doesn't do any good. I say if it doesn't do any good what's the harm of having idiots like me pay for it.
Or were you saying bollocks that parents should know/choose whats best for their child

LeighaJ ah, I see.

What's suspicious? Here is a link that links to most of the reports that are then cited in the papers:
www.philosophy-of-education.org/dotAsset/8f451f94-b0f7-40e1-93d1-6c1bb8efc1ca.pdf

pages 12&13

Sorry OP, I was actually trying not to have the thread go OT into Private v Public debate and sent it OT!

Tell her being an interfering and controlling bitch is cheating. Then give her a red card and tell her shes disqualified and so she cant speak to you ever again.

What's suspicious?

Because you are either sharing vague links (it's somewhere in this 1000 post thread) or what you're posting doesn't show what you think it does - e.g. all the evidence that those from private schools dominate the professions.

I think all children should receive the best education possible, this means properly funding state schools and having good support for children who are struggling, have no family support, SEN etc., this is one of the main requirements to be able to create a fair society with equal opportunities (of course, it is not sufficient to this end)

If private schools did give an advantage to kids, I think they should be banned, they would indeed represent a way of buying privilege, and yes, therefore a form of cheating (I also think you can't blame parents for wanting the best for their kids given the options, though, so as long as we don't have universally good state schools I can understand those who can afford it sending their kids to private, that's why I think they should be banned)

As it is, the evidence is mounting that they really do not give you a better education at all. It is simply the wealth of the parents that is linked to better outcomes, not the school per se, so, no problem if you want to waste your money on a private education!

Hi Lay, see the summary one I did just for you. The articles I have read in those thousands of pages. I personally disagree with their findings but happy to have those who hate Private education trot them out as in the end, if they are right there is nothing to complain about as my spending on private education just makes me an idiot paying for no advantage. Personally I think there is an advantage, hence why I pay for it! But the most important lesson in all the threads is what I said in first post - ITS UP TO THE PARENTS TO DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR THEIR CHILD - anything else/anyone else can just go pound sand.

THEsonofaBITCH that’s ok, we’ll just chat amongst ourselves

DH thinks MIL means cheating SIL. And the tickets (for a well publicised sold out show that he bought 6 months in advance and MIL waited until opening night to decide she wanted tickets only to be told they had sold out months before) was cheating her. He cheated her out of tickets by booking his own early.

cinderellaeggs, I'm going to leave quietly now as no one is actually reading what I post anyway. I think MIL is foolish for the record!

@THEsonofaBITCH

"Bollocks" because the things you said were, well, bollocks.

"State educated get higher acceptance levels than private for Uni;"

The paper you linked to cites "Official figures show that almost two-thirds of A-level students from the independent sector went on to Britain’s leading institutions in 2010/11 compared with less than a quarter of those from the state system."

agree with her on the tutoring... when it's supposed to test how intelligent you are“

yes, that’s MIL’s view. No tutors, no practising, no buying books for the home that might be educational, no motivational museum visits, just tested on the knowledge you are born with.

Shame that means that no child is ever stretched or encouraged or taught in a way that motivates them individually because we all have to be taught the same so SIL’s kids are cheated.

Aren’t cheated.

missperiguine

Your post summed up, far more eloquently than me , my own feelings on it . PS I love your user name , I have read the book and loved it . Not so keen on the second one, can't get into that.

Hi Nanny!

The recent stories published are in the links and according to the findings starting around 2015 more students at UK unis were from public education than private like this one about Cambridge:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-38842482

But I'm done doing the research for you/others and especially with going OT - believe me or don't I can't really get too worked up but if you read my posts you will see I think Parents know best irrespective of all the stupid arguments. Cheers and goodbye.

If private schools did give an advantage to kids, I think they should be banned, they would indeed represent a way of buying privilege

Then other rules should also be put in place. SIL should be banned from smoking so she can provide a healthier home for her kids. Or do we all have to start smoking so our children don’t have an advantage?

Cheating a odd word to use. Have you asked her to look up ‘cheating’ in the dictionary?

It’s no one else’s business where you send your dc’s to school or where you take them for trips out. It’s not your fault other family members can’t afford private education.

We’re cheating too - apparently if all my Inlaws grandchildren can’t go to private school - then ours shouldn’t either. My inlaws are idiots.