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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man

176 replies

Oldsu · 11/08/2018 22:05

I do love him dearly he is the light of my life BUT
I never really thought of him as old even though he is 69, but I guess having been married to him for 46 years I hadn't really noticed as its sort of gradual.

Today I was waiting for him to come home, a taxi pulled up and an old man in a raincoat had to be helped out of it, it gave me a bit of a start when I realised it was DH.

Mind you I am sure he looks at me and wonders where the young girl with the hour glass figure went.

Its a bugger this getting old lark

OP posts:
MercuryRising · 11/08/2018 22:07

Wow how fantastic that you have been married for 46 years! That is a real achievement.

Blackteadrinker77 · 11/08/2018 22:09

The alternative to getting old is even less desirable

Mishappening · 11/08/2018 22:09

A bugger indeed. My OH is a similar age and has PD - he now weighs 42kg. I can hardly bear to look at him sometimes, he looks so ill.

So - to all the young Mums on here - grab life by the balls and enjoy it while you can - you do not know what is round the corner!!!

bananaskin123 · 11/08/2018 22:10

I so know where you are coming from Oldsu. We have been married for about the same number of years. My DH is 72 and he has aged so much over the last couple of years. His walking is affected because he has a few conditions. I'm scared for the future if I'm honest. On good days I still feel 21!

InspectorIkmen · 11/08/2018 22:11

Its a bugger this getting old lark

That is very true. I'm just renewing my passport - I know nobody has a great passport picture but bloody hell - I look 90 in mine. It's only a slight improvement on DH's who also looks 90 but as though he just got out of prison.
And everything hurts. So yeah, you're right - it's really no fun.

SteviaStephanie · 11/08/2018 22:12

46 years? Wow, that’s amazing! On a tiny scale I know what you mean when I see old school friends on Facebook - I kind of kid myself that I haven’t aged that much.

He’s still the same person inside even if his joints creak a bit! Wine

SummersB · 11/08/2018 22:12

Your post has made me really sad! But then again - my step mum has just died of breastcancer ages 58 and my dad is absolutely bereft. He has literally stopped functioning Sad I think he would give everything for her to have lived until she was a little old woman. So would I, come to think of it Sad

Scifi101 · 11/08/2018 22:13

Mishappening

What's PD? Hope you don't mind explaining x

Singlenotsingle · 11/08/2018 22:14

Getting old isn't for wimps!

C0untDucku1a · 11/08/2018 22:14

My 88 year old gran was getting her hair cut a months or so back. She looked ahead and said who is that old lady! The hairdresser looked at her, then her reflection in the mirror, then back at her and laughed!

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 11/08/2018 22:14

My dad turned 70 this year and him and my mum celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next month. He said he looks in the mirror and wonder who the old bugger looking back is.
Like Black says the alternative is less desirable I celebrate every birthday because there are far too many that don’t make it to my age.
Congrats on 46 year though Smile lovely that he is still the light of your life. My dad still heads straight to kiss my mum before he does anything else when he walks in the door.

Singlenotsingle · 11/08/2018 22:15

Parkinson's?

flowerythorns · 11/08/2018 22:16

My 72yo Dad has just started Couch to 5k and came with me to parkrun Smile

My mum said after 50 years she didn't think anything would surprise her about him the belligerent old bugger

flowerythorns · 11/08/2018 22:16

PD = Parkinson's disease

caseoftheexfiles · 11/08/2018 22:17

@oldsu

With age comes wisdom and a marriage that’s lasted as long as yours really shows your commitment to each other and your marriage.

My mum and Dad have been married for almost 44 years and we almost lost him at the start of year from a very sudden and life threatening illness. Thankfully he survived and my mum cherishes him even more than she did before (as do I because he’s amazing)

monkeymamma · 11/08/2018 22:19

Oldsu, I understand!! If I travel to my hometown I often see young folk and think “oh, isn’t that so-and-so I used to hang out with”, forgetting they will all be thirty something like me! My mum always says she still feels like a teenager and I know what she means - we all get older but don’t adjust in our own minds. How lovely that you are growing older together though ❤️

Original poster
Oldsu · 11/08/2018 22:19

SummersB sorry I didn't mean to make you feel sad, my heart goes out to your dad

OP posts:
BogstandardBelle · 11/08/2018 22:20

My manager’s husband has Parkinsons, he’s about 67. She told me that one day she saw this bent, shuffling old man in the street and felt a bit concerned for him - and didn’t even recognise that it was her own husband. They’ve been married forever!

ReggaetonLente · 11/08/2018 22:22

Agree that the alternative to getting old is much worse. We’ve just lost my dad suddenly at 55 and my mum would do anything for the chance to grow old with him. She took for granted that he’d get to be an elderly man.

So while I can understand it gave you a start - I’d say you’re very lucky.

GrandTheftWalrus · 11/08/2018 22:23

I always find that whatever age I meet people at that's the age they will always look like to me. If that makes sense?

I was with exh from 13 to 29 and I never saw him as a man. Just exh.

Whereas I met DP when he was was 32 and he's a man.

I met with an old school friend the other day. We are both 33 but she has a 15yo and she still looks like she did when we were in class together 20 years ago.

I hope what I'm saying makes sense.

llangennith · 11/08/2018 22:25

I'm 66 and sometimes get a shock when I glance in a shop window at this dumpy old woman and realise it's me!

Mrsmadevans · 11/08/2018 22:26

It is what is inside us that matters , l am 57 and l feel as young as girl of 16 honestly. It must be the way we think about life , glass half full or half empty. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things . Nothing does .

Bluelady · 11/08/2018 22:28

Yup, 65 this week and I really, really don't like it. I'm not going down without a fight!

AnnieAnoniMoose · 11/08/2018 22:30

Yep...it’s definitely not for the feint hearted, but better than the alternative. My Dad was only 65 when he died, suddenly. I’ll never get to see him as a ‘little old man’ and my Mum is SO lonely without him.

I know it took you by surprise and your post was lighthearted, but honestly, just make the most of every minute together. You and your little old man 💕

GrandTheftWalrus · 11/08/2018 22:34

My mum is 60 next month and doesn't seem like it. When I was younger a woman of 60 was dead old.

She still works full time etc and so does my 59 year old dad.

Yet if I was 20 and knew people that age they would be old people.