To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man

[Oldsu]

I do love him dearly he is the light of my life BUT
I never really thought of him as old even though he is 69, but I guess having been married to him for 46 years I hadn't really noticed as its sort of gradual.

Today I was waiting for him to come home, a taxi pulled up and an old man in a raincoat had to be helped out of it, it gave me a bit of a start when I realised it was DH.

Mind you I am sure he looks at me and wonders where the young girl with the hour glass figure went.

Its a bugger this getting old lark

Growing old is hard but remember it’s a privilege too OP, especially if you get to share it with someone you love.

This reminds me of something my grandmother once said to me when she was in her seventies.

She told me you don't really change mentally after thr age of 35, and occasionally you'd catch sight of yourself In the mirror and think how did that happen, when did I become an old lady, is that really what I look like? Realising that your brain and your face/ body don't match.

Was it yeats who wrote the poem about being an old man, looking down at your hand which looked like a withered leaf wrapped round a walking stick with surprise.

It's quite sad really.

Yes, getting old isn't for easy. My mum resents it every day and I feel that it is making her last ten to twenty years miserable. I hope I can embrace it more easily as there is nothing that can be done about it and the alternative isn't great.

The stories of long marriages are lovely. It must be very hard to lose a partner at any time but after so long it is unimaginable. I expect that has made my mum worse as she was so focussed on dads needs with hus Parkinson's that she has been a bot lost now for eighteen months.

Carpe diem people x

My son’s dad has Parkinson’s. He is 38. He’s going to be a little old man long before his time and it breaks my heart.

We are the same age OP and I understand exactly what you mean. We’ve been together for 45 years and I’m very concious that our best years, in terms of health and mobility are behind us now, but I’m trying to look forward to our future with a positive attitude.

To the poster who thinks Gransnet is a depressing place I would say you haven’t seen the support and friendship which underpins the entire site. It does have its share of moaning minnies though, il give you that.

My Dad (in his 70s) attends a local choir. He told me that the first time he went along it was full of old ladies. Then he realised...

Congratulations on your long marriage op. It’s heartwarming to see and hear from other survivors :)
We also are growing old together. The past decade or so it feels like we are completely entwined. I am following him about three years behind in the aging process although we are exactly the same age. Teeth, reading glasses dodgy knees. What’s next?.

My parents-in-law are 69 and 74 and off to Costa Rica shortly where they'll be doing the world's biggest zip line!

They are my inspiration for times to come. I don't think of them as "old" at all.

It's bonkers isn't it? My Mum is 73 and I also have a friend the same age.

The difference between them is nothing short of staggering. My Mum is an old 73. In every way. She's sad, doesn't want to do anything, is resigned to "old age", her demeanour, outlook, everything. She's actually not a very nice person.

My friend is the opposite. Holidays like there's no tomorrow, learnt the ukelele recently, does open mic nights , dances.

It will be our Golden Wedding next year. We met in my first week at university and were married that summer. The picture in the local paper had the headline "Students Marry". 😮
We have two lovely children, much loved DiL and SiL and four beautiful grandchildren.
The only thing that annoys me is that everyone who said "it won't last" is dead so I can't tell them they were wrong. 😀
DH has bad arthritis but apart from that we are both in good health (and I am quite proud of the fact that I can still do the splits). I must admit to some apprehension about the next bit of our lives though. I would hate to be a worry and a burden to my family.

what a refreshing post.

stopPOP this is the same with my gran compared to my grandpa.its hard because it makes me so angry at her.there is nothing wrong with her,cealn bill of health.yet her attitude and mind is appalling.
and yet my granpa has all the health problems of someone his age can possibly have!and yet lives and lives and wants to live every moment.his mind is never giving up even if his body is.
it doesn thelp me sympathise at all then when the gran goes on which leads me to feel shitty

I hope you'll have many more wonderful years with your "little old man"

This is a very touching thread. I'll not live into my thirties so no danger of me becoming an old lady, though I do feel very decrepit these days! :)

I feel so sad that I won't see my parents into their old age. Though my mum will be an absolute nightmare as she's so stubborn about accepting help.

@dementedma what a fab pic!

Do not regret getting older many are denied the pleasure 😀

I just noticed Alberta beat me to it 😀

46 years! Fantastic! Any marriage advice!? Congratulations- it is hard getting old But as other posts have said it's way better that the alternative!

After 49 years I would say the key to a long marriage is communication.

We have always had the same political views, many similar interests and have shared all household chores and child-rearing. We have both had demanding careers and whoever has been at home more has done more. I could never have accepted a conventional wife role and DH would never have wanted it either. This has all taken compromise, discussion and flexibility, but for us it has been the only way.
We still find lots of things to talk about.

That sounds so lovely missclimpson I'm quite jealous! Congratulations to you both

I'm very lucky. In my mid sixties I Iook like Joanna Lumley. Until I catch unexpected sight of Olive from On the Buses across a shop then realise I'm looking at myself in a mirror.

Forty six years for me too; we haven't reached the "little old man/woman" stage quite yet, and I sincerely hope it'll be better than the alternative.
I get on his nerves sometimes, he gets on mine, but he's still the love of my life.
I saw a gif recently which states "Getting old ain't for cissies" and I have to agree.

There's 24 year difference between me and my husband! I will always love him but I think he can also see that he is ageing so he is trying to make himself look and feel better. I will always love him regardless, even though he has a face like a busted boot at the best of times lol.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo -

Thank you! I don't think it is about dreading getting old either. Just trying to plan for the future to make life as good as possible and coping with the inevitable decline when it comes.

And longwayoff .... ..me too !