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Original poster

To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man

176 replies

Oldsu · 11/08/2018 22:05

I do love him dearly he is the light of my life BUT
I never really thought of him as old even though he is 69, but I guess having been married to him for 46 years I hadn't really noticed as its sort of gradual.

Today I was waiting for him to come home, a taxi pulled up and an old man in a raincoat had to be helped out of it, it gave me a bit of a start when I realised it was DH.

Mind you I am sure he looks at me and wonders where the young girl with the hour glass figure went.

Its a bugger this getting old lark

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 11/08/2018 22:46

DH's mum died when his Dad was 55. His dad was so hopeless and helpless that we moved across the country to be with him. We were in our 20s and had it in our heads he was a broken old man.

DH is that age now and has just done an Ironman.

But the pp is right about seeing people as you remember them. I still find my DH very attractive. When I go on to my daughters about what a catch their Dad is they look at me as if I'm some crazy woman.

Mrsmadevans · 11/08/2018 23:01

Hee hee Tinkly , l feel exactly the same about my DH . l say to my girls all the time, about how handsome he was and still is and how l fell in love with him at first sight and how l couldn't believe he would ever be interested in me . I am so lucky .

Penfold007 · 11/08/2018 23:05

If he was 23 when you married then surely your fairly nature yourself?

Samcro · 11/08/2018 23:07

this thread has weirdly made me feel better. don't feel so alone.
Dh is 4 years older than me and has an injury at the moment ....so I am doing the "carer" thing, he is 61 and IMO still hot. but having him laid up has made me feel so old(who is that old lady in the mirror? thats not me?)

Jux · 11/08/2018 23:08

...it's a bugger this getting old lark.

Mymum always said that you have be tough to be old. As we get older, dh and I often remember it.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 11/08/2018 23:09

Absolutely Mrsmadevans, I saw him and that was it, no one else has ever come close. I always think I'm very fortunate that DH turned out to be a really decent guy because it was total lust love at first sight and I was having him even if he was an out and out bad un.

NearWildHeaven · 11/08/2018 23:13

Ah I read this and weirdly hope that this is DH and I. His DDad died incredibly young in an accident so I look forward to getting old(er) and grey(er) with him. We're both currently belting out Oasis pretending it's still the 90s so I get how time slips away and you have no idea how you got here Sad

MaMaMaBelle · 11/08/2018 23:13

When I was driving up my parents street a few years back I saw a frail looking old man with a stick crossing the road near their house, who's that I thought.. yep, it was my dad. I hadn't seen him for a while so it was a bit of a shock.
Not quite the same I know.
Well done for 46 years, that's fantastic.

LighthouseSouth · 11/08/2018 23:18

Was it a black cab? I struggle to get out of those just due to being short! I've often thought they must be a nightmare for anyone with any issue at all. Why are they so freaking high up?

TheFormidableMrsC · 11/08/2018 23:18

Congratulations OP! What a lovely and long marriage you've had! It's wonderful!

My parents were together for 40 years, my mum died at 60, my Dad is going to be 80 next year. I am nearly 50, but I have a 7 year old (autistic) son. I am in good shape for my age, exercise daily and often questioned about age (I am also what would be described as vain as I am totally invested in skincare, clothes, how I look). HOWEVER, it is never far from my mind that I am only a decade or so away from when my mum lost her life, I worry about this so much as my son is so small. I look at how fab my dad looks, how smart, fit and trim he is...but he has Alzheimers. I don't know what the answer is...look after yourself the best you can, although I drink far too much wine and frequently don't target my five a day. Even people who look after themselves well get ill and die early. I believe that when your number's up, it's up...so try and go along those lines!

Bunchofdaffodils · 11/08/2018 23:18

Dh and I got together at 16, he’s still a teenager to me at 43. Same as my friends, they all seam much younger than any other 43 year olds I meet. I work with a man, I really see him as a proper adult man, and was shocked to find he is actually younger than me and Dh. It’s amazing how the mind can colour your views. It’s like when you catch your reflection, thinking it’s someone else and you see yourself as others see you.

Tomatoesrock · 11/08/2018 23:19

Aw that is lovely. Maybe today was one of those days you recognised him as older and more vulnerable. It is another road to take and your life journey. I see my Dad help mam in ways she would never have expected now they're 70.

After 46 years of marriage enjoy the next road. You sound lovely and your post made my smile. Enjoy your old man and you know he'll always be young at heart and some moments Wink

Babdoc · 11/08/2018 23:20

I’m v envious of your “little old man” - my DH was 36 when he died. Enjoy every year that you can together - you never know when it will end. And cherish each other while you can.

AlbertaSimmons · 11/08/2018 23:21

This...

To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man
AlbertaSimmons · 11/08/2018 23:22

Sorry pic didn't post

To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man
Time40 · 11/08/2018 23:22

It's lovely that he's still the light of your life, OP.

Purpleartichoke · 11/08/2018 23:23

I know this is meant to be lighthearted. I get it. DH is turning grey and sprouting hair in his ears. I don’t love him any less. I fact I might love him even more, but it still made me weep a bit. My Mom died last month at 69. I’m sad because I miss my mom, but I have also realized I am terrified. Terrified that I won’t get to continue enjoying our middle age and then grow old together. So go kiss your old man. I am going to go kiss my middle age guy.

Hasthemarketsplit · 11/08/2018 23:26

Enjoy every moment with him OP and be glad you can grow old together.

I lost my DH when he was in his mid 50's (cycling accident). That was 12 years ago, but I often think about what he would be like now and how much fun we would have had sharing our retirement years.

On the light side he will be forever young in my memories and I am glad he never saw the saggy, post menopausal, me Smile Smile

JaceLancs · 11/08/2018 23:26

My parents have been married for 58 years and are growing very old together
I’m 54 and wish I had someone to grow old with

Samcro · 11/08/2018 23:27

HANG ON
can I just say that 69 does not = old man these days.
OP i bet your man is still hot.
its taken me a while to realise we all age together. I used to think DH would look at me and think she looks old......but reality is we both do (yep ok he is fit normally and can ride a bile for miles.....i can barely get out of a chair) but we all age together.

Samcro · 11/08/2018 23:28

Hasthemarketsplit so sorry crossed post.

junebirthdaygirl · 11/08/2018 23:28

I'm in my 50s. My great friend from school was introducing me to her new partner. I was very friendly but inside l was thinking .." why is she with someone so old?" Then l realised he is our age. In my mind my friend and l are still in our 20s and l was expecting that age group!! ( That would have been a bit weird!)

Timefortea99 · 11/08/2018 23:29

I am 53. My mum died when she was 40. Now I am 50+ it is a strange sensation. She was young. She was so young when she died.

My dad died when he was 61.

I thought they were old when they died. They weren’t.

Samcro · 11/08/2018 23:32

Timefortea99 i get that
i was 18 when my mum died. she was 56. I am 57 now....its so odd

Timefortea99 · 11/08/2018 23:36

I feel like my mum’s parent Samcro. Weird, but I feel maternal towards her. Our positions have reversed.