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Original poster

To be a little bit sad that my DH is now a little old man

176 replies

Oldsu · 11/08/2018 22:05

I do love him dearly he is the light of my life BUT
I never really thought of him as old even though he is 69, but I guess having been married to him for 46 years I hadn't really noticed as its sort of gradual.

Today I was waiting for him to come home, a taxi pulled up and an old man in a raincoat had to be helped out of it, it gave me a bit of a start when I realised it was DH.

Mind you I am sure he looks at me and wonders where the young girl with the hour glass figure went.

Its a bugger this getting old lark

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 12/08/2018 10:52

I have enjoyed your replies but I really hope I haven't upset anybody, I do realise I am lucky we have had all this time together and katmarie yes still get that rush of love and affection, hope you have a long and happy marriage

I'm another who is both smiling and a bit teary at reading this. OP, you haven't upset me but reading this thread has made me realise that I'm not alone. I'm 64 and most people are shocked when I tell them that as I look, feel and behave like a woman much younger (not a brag, but just for context). My DH is 71 and is aging rapidly, is less and less inclined to exercise and get out and about, and seems to be getting more frail and dependent by the day. The other day we had a dentist appointment and I overheard the receptionist refer to him as "the elderly gentleman in the waiting room" ... really made me think. He's not elderly to me - just still the young guy in a pair of jeans I met years ago.

So, please, all you young things out there, appreciate the time you have and the people in your lives. It doesn't last forever.

sparkli · 12/08/2018 10:54

My DH is 49 and we've been married 21 years this year. He's 7 years older than me and I still look at him and get butterflies in my tummy!

DF is in his 70s and still referees football matches. DM is mid 60s and struggles a bit with arthritis, but still enjoys life and is loving retirement. FIL and MIL both passed away from cancer within a year of their golden wedding. I'd take arthritis and old age, with all the other saggy bits and pains, over that anyday.

Ironmanrocks · 12/08/2018 10:55

I've only read the first page so far and I'm actually blubbing...[embarrassed] Ive had such a crappy few years and feel like I am heading towards the light at the end of the tunnel and although I wouldn't say I can't wait to grow old with my OH, IYKWIM, I really really hope we stay together and are as happy as you lot. I'm off to give him a hug right now! Thanks you lot.xxx

longwayoff · 12/08/2018 10:55

There are some lovely posts on here. I think its a fantastic achievement to spend so many years together and still be happy with each other. Congratulations to everyone long mayas it last.

airsealengineer · 12/08/2018 10:57

I've had this. Thinking, who is that old man? And it was DH. He's not even 50! But then he has an active outdoor life, refuses to wear sunscreen and gets badly burned repeatedly in the summer. It has taken its toll!

canuck43 · 12/08/2018 10:58

My husband is 80 and I am 75, we cherish every day because we are still walking on the grass not buried beneath it.

deste · 12/08/2018 10:58

My DH is 68, still runs his business, takes all the nieces and other children out on his Kayak. We still ski every year and no sign of stopping. He never stops, he is anything but a little old man. My brother is the same. He retired two weeks ago and he has been up on the roof, landscaping his garden and all the other jobs he couldn’t do while working. I think the secret is to keep busy. None of them wear raincoats by the way.

deste · 12/08/2018 11:01

Forgot to say our wedding anniversary is on the 1st of next month and we have been married 47 years. Our first grandchild is due a few days before.

Stopyourhavering64 · 12/08/2018 11:17

Dh and I have known each other 36 years and married for 31....longer than both sets of our parents managed ( divorce and death)
We've had our fair share of heartache and disappointment and illness over the years...but keep each other going and find that a ( sometimes warped) sense of humour will help in many situations
Dh is my best friend and I'm his!
Youngest dc went to uni last year and we realised it was first time in 24 years that we'd had the house to ourselves!

Nanny0gg · 12/08/2018 11:23

Of course getting old is better than the alternative.

But just wait till you're there and see what you think...

It is a shock when you look at your other half and realise that they are properly old.

fussychica · 12/08/2018 11:24

What a thoughtful thread, has made me laugh and have something in my eye at the same time.
We are 45 years together almost 40 of them married. Our secret has been compromise, being selfish has no place in a successful marriage IMO. We share everything and any money is ours not mine or his.
We are very lucky that we have our health, long may that last! We are pretty active and try to do things to keep us moving in mind and body. The knees cry out sometimes!

I still have a good figure but the face is sagging faster. DH is still slim and lovely. We both love the same things and try to keep abreast of new stuff and listen to new music. I cant imagine my life without him, ever.

We were very lucky that we had our parents until they were in their 70s and 80s and my dad, bless him, still had women falling for him at 84!

Canuck is right cherish every day you are walking on the grass and not buried beneath it.

Nanny0gg · 12/08/2018 11:25

I think the secret is to keep busy.

Sadly, there is no 'secret' and being busy is lovely while you're physically capable.

larry55 · 12/08/2018 11:25

I have been married to dh for 46 years as well. He is now 71 and I am 66. A few years ago he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and I was devastated to think I might lose him. He is now in remission and very active again. I have diabetes and I am going into hospital on Tuesday for a back operation but I know that he will take care of me for as long as he is around.

Mishappening · 12/08/2018 12:23

Nanny0gg - exactly.

I would love to keep active - or to be David Attenborough - but you have to take the hand that life deals you when it comes to health - and try and keep smiling. I look at all my friends going off on lovely holidays together and know that this cannot be for us. We try and find other things that we can do to keep us engaged with life - no good getting in a twist over something you cannot change.

ElseaMoon · 12/08/2018 12:27

My Dad is 69 and I have only just started to realise his age is catching up to him. He's always been active and he kindly offered to pick me and my children up to go to his house and I did a double take when he pulled up. He's always been an older dad compared to.my friends dad's but I'm only just noticing it.

Samcro · 12/08/2018 12:44

i thought of this thread this morning. a birthday cam up on fb, she is 62. I said to DH oh Sally(NC to protect the innocent) is 62, i thought she was the same age as you...... he pointed out that she is only a year older.
i have no idea why i thought he was way younger than her.....

LongSummerDays · 12/08/2018 12:47

I look in the mirror and see my mother looking back at me!

Huskylover1 · 12/08/2018 12:57

Surely 69 isn't that old though?

My FIL is 70, and is fitter than me and DH. He took us on a massive 8 mile trek recently (in blistering heat), and wasn't tired one bit, whereas me and DH were knackered. He also walks 5 miles a day, lifts weights and runs a few businesses. Also has a few sports cars. He doesn't strike me as old, whatsoever. Mu Uncle is 77 and fit as a fiddle.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 12/08/2018 13:01

I'm all warm and floofy. DW hasn't changed much in 29 years as long as she keeps her chin up. However, the redheaded Matt Damon in our wedding pics has turned into a sand and silver Phil Mitchell. Phil is a LOT happier than Matt though, what with giving up drinking.

Regrets? I wish I hadn't fucked my legs up by falling off bikes and rocks.

CrumbsInBed · 12/08/2018 13:01

However, it is a shock to realise we probably need reading glasses as we squint over a menu!

😂😂😂😂.

This most definitely. As soon as the menus appear, I rummage in my bag for my glasses.
You sound so happy op, we’ve been married 26 years this year and hope we get to spend as many years together as what you have 💐xx

Member745520 · 12/08/2018 13:25

Thinking of you @WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Flowers

Bluelady · 12/08/2018 19:07

At least you only need glasses for reading. My rapidly deteriorating cataracts (thanks, Dad) have meant I had to take a long walk with my vanity because my varifocals are permanently on my face now.

longwayoff · 12/08/2018 19:37

O Lord. Isnt it grim when you have to say goodbye to the face you're used to and have to live with nature unadorned because you cant see to put make up on any longer. Where are my eyebrows and eyelashes?

xandersmom2 · 12/08/2018 19:41

DH and I are late 40's, been together 15 years. We always said we wanted to grow old and grey together. I looked at him the other day and said 'well we managed that, what are we going to do next?'

Hate that I feel myself slowing down. I fall asleep on the sofa at 10pm. Have 'old person' aches and pains. Ugh....

wherehavealltheflowersgone · 12/08/2018 19:44

My DH died aged 37. When he was diagnosed (cancer) the doc said "he won't make old bones". How I wish he'd had, and I celebrate my getting-older-bones every day. Tragically he looked like an old man anyway in the months before he died, walking with a Zimmer frame, drooling, incontinent, partially deaf, skeletal... if only his chronological age could have matched his appearance Sad