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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To treat my dog like one of the family?

159 replies

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:09

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they've always been treated like part of the family.

We're planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he's a 'burden'. They've said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I've NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We've said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they'd like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn't be doing late nights anyway. They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

Just after other people's opinions...

Thanks

OP posts:
KC225 · 20/07/2018 15:20

A distinctional relationship, and my dog is the only the only one who understands me?

Storm4star · 20/07/2018 15:22

family wedding coming up and we're upset our dog hasn't been invited.

Original poster
Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:26

Your responses are so much better than my actual problem, I’d rather discuss those Grin

I’ve been trying to update with mumsnet but here’s the gist:

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they’ve always been treated like part of the family.

We’re planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he’s a ‘burden’. They’ve said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I’ve NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We’ve said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they’d like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn’t be doing late nights anyway. They’ve said it’s unfair on our child that we’re restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

OP posts:
SillyLittleBiscuit · 20/07/2018 15:28

I'd take the dog and leave the humans behind.

Jeippinghmip · 20/07/2018 15:30

No solution for you but just to say taking our dog on holiday, is part of our holiday for us. We get immense enjoyment out of finding dog friendly beaches and seeing her run on the beach and play in the sea. So for me YANBU.

VickyEadie · 20/07/2018 15:31

I'm a dog owner, but have no kids. We believe that our dog is part of our family, but even though we don't have kids, we do put her in kennels if we want to go away on our own. We do also rent cottages and take the dog with us, however.

I think it's your choice, because it's your child and your dog and your lives. I don't see how taking the dog with you is "restricting 9your son's) holiday enjoyment at all."

thecatsthecats · 20/07/2018 15:33

Storm - my wedding is dog inclusive, so it can't be us Grin

Storm4star · 20/07/2018 15:34

Ok, I do think them saying it's not fair on your child is not a nice thing to say. I'm guessing your son loves the dog and would be more than happy for it to come along! If they have some specific issue on you bringing the dog then they need to say so. Not make silly excuses/reasons. Calling the dog a "burden" is also ridiculous.

I'm not particularly a dog person but you're not putting them out in any way by having the dog there. So I think they are the unreasonable ones.

Original poster
Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:34

Just me and the dog would be a much more relaxing holiday experience i’m sure!

We do have a busy household with a toddler and a dog but they get on fantastically and I hadn’t even considered leaving the dog behind. Whenever we went away on holiday as children the dogs always came with us (as we always stayed in the uk) so I just saw as a family holiday as including the dog. Just wanted other people’s opinions on leaving the dog and whether my son will be missing out due to it?

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 20/07/2018 15:35

Take dog leave judgey ILs.

Storm4star · 20/07/2018 15:35

@thecatsthecats Smile have a lovely wedding!

billybagpuss · 20/07/2018 15:37

I'd take the dog, in-laws will get over it. As you say its not like you're going to be doing late nights anyway and lots of toddler friendly places are dog friendly too.

KC225 · 20/07/2018 15:37

It seems that your in laws think your dog will restrict them. The thing is with such a young child you will be limited to earlier nights. I suppose the only thing that could hinder would be long day/car trips that might be dog friend.

Original poster
Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:40

Thanks guys! @billybagpuss that was my thought. We’ve never went away with the in laws before but have always took the dog and never had trouble doing what we want to do. If it was just hubby and I then I could understand them thinking we’d be out late at night and it would be better for dog to be at home but that life is a bit behind us anyway so I don’t see it being a big impact. In laws feel like I “overly humanise” our dog (their words). I don’t think I do, but I do still feel like he’s part of our family.

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 20/07/2018 15:43

Sounds like they just don't like your dog. But then they aren't being forced to go on holiday with you either so that's their choice. They can't tell you what to do.

I have refused to go on holidays with dogs and that's perfectly fine.

It's better than them going with the dog then being resentful towards it.

Just tell them, the dog is coming, if you don't like it, don't come. Obviously in a less blunt way.

wtffgs2 · 20/07/2018 15:47

I'm a cat person but even I think you should take the dog and leave the ILs Grin

Dogs always look like they're having a mega time when they're out on trips - (a cat would give you an IDGAF look and carry on licking their bum if you tried to take them on an outing GrinGrin)

runningkeenster · 20/07/2018 15:50

Well I hope my son doesn't marry a dog person and put their dog before me.

But it is what it is you clearly prioritise the dog over you in-laws.

So they can either go along with that, or not go.

Anyone who says that the dog is part of the family is humanising their dog by the way. Dogs are pets.

LoniceraJaponica · 20/07/2018 15:51

What sort of accommodation are you looking at? If self catering I can understand why they might not want to share a house with a dog. If in a hotel I can't see why it would matter.

I grew up with dogs, and we always took our dog on camping holidays.

moose234 · 20/07/2018 15:53

We took our dog on holiday, and will do in the future! We have a month old child and both will come on holiday with us, my dog is part of the family!

missbattenburg · 20/07/2018 15:58

OP, you are being ridiculous. Dogs are really not very important and should be handed over to someone else to deal with whenever possible.

Says me, someone who absolutely does not consider the new car to be Battendog's first birthday present because it was bought specially for him to have a bit more space to stretch out in.

Also, Battendog is not currently sleeping on the guest his own double bed. Even though we have guests staying Grin.

On a more serious note, I am not sure what point there is in getting a pet (essentially a vessel for love and care) and then not flooding with love and care. Surely the point of having a pet is because you love it and enjoy its company? I say take the dog on holiday and enjoy sitting on the beach feeding him chips Grin

Furrydogmum · 20/07/2018 16:03

I have 3 dogs they are absolutely part of my family - quite often we leave our teens at home and go for a long weekend with the dogs 😊
They all have passports and we plan our regular travel to France around them - people who don't have dogs often struggle to understand, but one of my girls really suffers separation anxiety when I go away so avoid leaving her unless for a wedding or similar. You are not being unreasonable 😊

Original poster
Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 16:04

Missbattenburg - that did make me chuckle! Smile

OP posts:
user7469322 · 20/07/2018 16:06

We have 2 dogs aged 14 and 6 1/2. They both can me with us on all of our holidays. We used a kennel once when the eldest was a pup but have since taken them everywhere. We even took him that the Isle of Wight! They love holidays but I would’t go anywhere they couldn’t go. So I say take the pooches, ditch the people!

JudyGrandChamp · 20/07/2018 16:07

We bought a motorhome so we could take our dog on holiday with us ... Then we got a second dog and a bigger motorhome so ... YANBU Grin

liverbird10 · 20/07/2018 16:09

Tell your obnoxious in-laws to mind their own and to go jump in a lake.

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