To treat my dog like one of the family?

[Everydayimsnugglin]

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they've always been treated like part of the family.

We're planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he's a 'burden'. They've said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I've NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We've said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they'd like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn't be doing late nights anyway. They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

Just after other people's opinions...

Thanks

I'm a dog person, and we've never used kennels either. But we HAVE got a couple of options for where we can leave her if we want to go abroad.

We've also taken DDog on holidays. It IS restrictive. Very few beaches allow dogs in the height of summer, so that means either not going to the beach (which IMHO would be a shame with a little one) or going miles to a (generally) not so nice one - eg stony.
Also, to the PP above who said lots of places that welcome toddlers also welcome dogs, lots don't and lots of toddlers are scared of dogs and their parents wouldn't be impressed with having one imposed on them. Even most play areas (in parks) are fenced off.
So take your dog by all means, but don't kid yourself that it won't be restrictive and won't mean compromises for all members of the family.

I also have to chuckle at the person who says that taking the dog on holiday is 'putting the dog before ILs'. The ILs can understand why the dog's coming or they can understand why they aren't invited along et cetera - the dog has no idea, it's being put in a kennel with no explanation, no knowledge their owner is coming back.

This can be really distressing for a lot of dogs.

We take our pooch on holiday with us as she's family. Why should she miss out? She'll love it. Ours wouldn't cope in kennels. I'd take them as you might just worry if you leave them behind feeling bad and then you might not enjoy your holiday as much

We have done holidays with and without dog, overall I found holidays with dog too restrictive so he stays in other accommodations, but I know he is pretty cheerful doing it.

But the restrictions are only if the family feel restricted. One persons restrictive holiday is another's ideal unrestricted one.

If people want to put their dog in a kennel or home board to go on holiday then there is nothing wrong with that but 'telling' someone to do that when they don't want to is out of order and effectively that is what the ILs are doing.

We put our dog in kennels. But he's nicer to me than my dcs. I really love him. He's always pleased to seen me, likes cuddles, takes me for walks and keeps me company. He's really helped me get over my depression and anxiety. He helps the dcs too as he's so loving.

Missbattenburg, we bought our current car as the boot is higher up and I think it's safer for our dog! So we bought it with our dog in mind.

Judy, we did much the same except I chose a small second dog that would fit in our motorhome with Ddog1.
Snugglin you are teaching your Ds a valuable life lesson that once you give an animal a home you have that responsibility for it’s whole life, not just when it’s convenient for you. That’s not to say you can’t use a homeboarder or dog sitter if your Ddog can’t go or wouldn’t enjoy your holiday

Take your dog. Having a pet is a commitment and a responsibility. It’s good that you take it seriously.
I’ve taken my cat on a UK holiday with me before. She’s an indoor cat and very focused on people. She was much happier than she would have been in a cattery. For our next holiday a family member is moving into our house whilst we’re away to care for her.
If I was going away in the UK with someone who objected to me bringing my cat despite not sharing accommodation I’d tell them that it might be better if we holidayed separately after all.

Probably your ILs don't fancy a holiday with a dog. I don't have a dog and I wouldn't want to spent my holiday with one.

I like all animals, including dogs but I don't want to be with them 24/7.

I'm sure your dog is an adorable member of the family in your eyes OP, and probably also in the eyes of many other dog lovers, but you know what they say 'beauty is on the eye of the beholder'. To me your beloved pet is just a dog. I'll enjoy giving it a pat but that is about it. I don't want it licking me, jumping up me, trying to get attention while I am trying to have my morning cuppa etc etc

Are you sharing accommodation with them? If so I can understand their reluctance to share with a pet, especially if bringing your dog means you're limited in what sort of place you can get, where you can eat out etc.

I would be unhappy sharing a holiday let with a dog because of the smell, shedding and not being able to leave things out that might get chewed/eaten! I'd feel irritated if relatives insisted on bringing a dog, as all the activities then have to be dog-friendly (unless dog can be left alone). He may be like a family member to you, but to your extended family he's just a pet. It's U to expect them to regard him like an extra grandchild! Most people I know leave dogs at home with a sitter or in kennels when they holiday with friends/relatives.

I think it’s fine not to want to spend your holiday with a dog. However, that might mean that dog owners don’t want to holiday with you. If ILs want dog free and OP wants dog friendly then they might just not be compatible for holidays.
They could have their morning cuppa in their own dog-free accomadation.

Only take on board people’s advice if you’ve sought it, and if it rings true to you.

We aren’t sharing actual accommodation, but as we have the bigger apartment, there’s definitely an understanding that we’ll use ours For socialising dinner etc...

Clearly you do think that your dog is a member of your family and also one whose needs must be catered for in preference to actual human members who probably don't want to be restricted in choice of beach/cafe etc while on holiday.

Up to you if that's what you want to do. Personally I think it's fucking batshit but then I never do understand people who prioritise dogs over humans up to and including their children's grandparents. It doesn't sound like you're willing to put their needs before that of your dog so best to holiday separately. Because of a dog.

I am not a dog person so am kind of with your inlaws on this -I always find dogs rather annoying and restrictive.

I second looking for a dog walker/baby sitter in the local area so you can choose to do non-dog friendly things while you're there if you like. We live in a semi-touristy area and I have done this several times in the fifteen years we've been operating our dog walking and pet care business. Most recently it was so that a family with young children could go to a matinee at the theatre without having to leave dog in car - which obviously is completely not an option at present!

Im not oblivious to them not wanting to go on holiday with our dog and I don’t have an issue with putting our dog in home boarding or even getting a local dog walker while we’re away if needed, and I don’t feel the dog needs to be by my side all the time, I just hadn’t considered him not coming and my in laws feel I’m being unfair on my son by bringing the dog. I don’t think my in laws are coming from a bad place at all. they had a vision of watching my son at night to give us a “ night off”... a very nice offer but not what we want or what we consider to be a family holiday - again each to their own. I think that’s a big part of it. They love DS and I think they just invisioned the holiday going a bit differently than we did.
I think PP might be right and we aren’t holiday compatible.

Go to Swanage. the whole place is dog friendly
This brought back memories as when I was little my GM always went on holiday to Swanage (not with her dog though) but she would just say "I'm going to Swanage" rather than "I'm going on holiday", at that age we hadn't had many holidays ourselves and I got the idea that Swanage was the holiday destination where all holidays occurred.
Now I know its great for dogs perhaps I will finally go there one day.

My dog is my family - I’ve lost my parents, was single for a long time before I met DP (but had my dog) and now we are struggling with fertility issues so the family is now DP, dog and I. Luckily DP’s parents adore the dog, and have looked after him when we’ve been away without him (he’s never been in kennels, always with a friend or family member as this particular dog would absolutely not cope in kennels, not to say they’re not great just depends on the animal).

We’ve just had our holiday down to Dorset which is massively dog friendly, he came absolutely everywhere with us and we had a great time. In fact having him with us made the holiday one of our favourites - not restrictive at all, but again because everywhere down there is very dog friendly, and because the kind of things we like and enjoy doing - walks, picnics on the beach, sitting outside the pub, fish and chips and hot chocolate in the cottage on rainy evenings - are all things we can do with the dog. I can see that certain things would be restricted - e.g. theme parks/fairgrounds, museums, indoor attractions, shows, boat trips maybe, and most of the beach areas apart from designated dog friendly bits, some of the fancier restaurants- yes you’d be restricted with those. Maybe your in laws are concerned they won’t get to do some of those things with you and your DS? Or maybe they don’t realise how much there is to do that is dog friendly? Honestly, apart from only using certain bits of some of the beaches there wasn’t a single place we visited on our holiday we couldn’t do with the dog and he was good as gold throughout - maybe you could chat to your ILs about what it is they want to see/do/visit and show them how most can fit with having the dog, perhaps arranging for a local dog sitter to facilitate if there’s something they really want to do that the dog would prevent.

We take our dogs on UK holidays, they are family to me, however i do understand that it very much disables places that you can visit and eat out in, so I can see the concern. However your in law's arguement that it will spoil your son's holiday is rubbish. I'm sure he would miss his family pet, and will have a great time playing on the beach etc with the dog.

Perhaps try and find a compromise - find a local dog sitter for an evening or a day when you can visit something that doesn't allow dogs. If they're still grumbling, particularly when they have a seperate appartment to get away from the dog to, then no more joint holidays. They're stressful enough, without the complaining starting before you even arrive.

You never know, the dog may win them over!

YABU for going on hols with ILS who don't sound very nice.

YANBU to treat DDOG like one of the family. Of course he is!!! If they don't like it they can cancel their holiday. They have their own accommodation so I can't see what it has to do with them.

Disclaimer: I like most animals more than I like most humans.

I admit, when I clicked on the thread I was ready to go into my "pets are not people" rant, but having read the OP, I actually think you are being perfectly reasonable in wanting to take your dog on holiday. I can't imagine at all what they think that is going to stop your 2yo from doing.

@happypoobum - firstly, love the name secondly, love the sentiment

YANBU. We've driven to Spain for years so that Ddog can come too.

Leave him in kennels?? No. Nor would I leave DC nor PIL in kennels. The very thought!