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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To treat my dog like one of the family?

159 replies

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:09

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they've always been treated like part of the family.

We're planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he's a 'burden'. They've said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I've NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We've said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they'd like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn't be doing late nights anyway. They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

Just after other people's opinions...

Thanks

OP posts:

polkadotpixie · 20/07/2018 16:11

My dog is a rescue and wouldn't cope with kennels as he'd think he'd been dumped again (we were his 3rd owners) so if we can't find someone to take care of him at home, we just don't go. Dogs are family!

YANBU

ThePlanetGoesOnBeingRound3 · 20/07/2018 16:12

I have only left my Ddog (I love typing that )once.
It was with my sister who adores dogs and even with the most loving care and attention, my Ddog didn't eat or wag her tail for the two nights we were away.
I could never put her in kennels.
PIL are entitled to their opinion but tell them you and DH have thought about it and the dog's coming, so like it or lump it.

liverbird10 · 20/07/2018 16:12

Oh, booo, just remembered it is somewhat their business as they're on holiday with you. Therefore, ignore the "mind your own business" bit, but DO tell 'em to go jump in a lake.

sonjadog · 20/07/2018 16:12

I think this is one of those things that dog-lovers get and that other people think is ridiculous.

I sometimes take my dog on holiday and sometimes not. I wouldn’t take him on a city break but staying in the country I would. Is your holiday dog-friendly? Then take him.

ThePlanetGoesOnBeingRound3 · 20/07/2018 16:12

And yes, dogs are family.

MikeUniformMike · 20/07/2018 16:12

You are going on holiday so the PILs think the dog should go to prison?

nokidshere · 20/07/2018 16:16

I wouldn't go on holiday with someone who was taking a dog if we were sharing accommodation, but in a hotel I could cope.

If you and in-laws really want to holiday together then you both would be willing to find a compromise

BiteyShark · 20/07/2018 16:18

My dog goes to home boarding at least one a year when we go abroad because we can't take him with us and want to see certain places. However at all other times he will come away with us.

I think it boils down to the fact that your IL's don't want your dog around them. They are therefore trying to emotionally blackmail you to leaving the dog at home. A huge number of people take their dogs on holiday and treat them like a family member because they are part of the family (if others don't agree then not having a dog is a valid choice for them). Your ILs have the option of going on their own adult only dog free holiday and honestly that is what I would tell them if they moaned about my dog.

Original poster

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 16:21

Sorry - I should add that we have 2 separate self catering apartments booked. We have a larger 2 bed booked with a big living room and in laws have a smaller 1 bed so whilst it is separate accommodation ours will be the “socialising” one x

OP posts:

Caffeineaddict994 · 20/07/2018 16:28

If it's separate accommodation then it's not really up to them to have a say is it? Make there space the socialising space if they are that arsed about a dog.
I had the same issue with my parents, they wanted to pay for us to go on holiday with them but refused to find a dog friendly place but when I said fine we'll find our own place and pay ourselves (so still go on holiday together but separate sites) DM huffed about me being silly 'its just a dog' type thing and starting looking for dog friendly! (Then moaned at the price but I can't even get into that conversation - myself, my DM and the topic of money is never a good combination!) In the end (this was on going for months) I said that we weren't going on holiday this year anymore as DP is too busy with work, thus ensued a conversation about how we are depriving our DS holiday memories over 'silly little things'. I.e. Our dog.
Bye mum, enjoy your holiday!

BiteyShark · 20/07/2018 16:29

They don't want your dog restricting what they do. You probably have an idea of doing x which the dog won't restrict but they probably think they can talk you into doing y which might not be dog friendly.

This is why I never holiday with anyone else as my holiday involves doing things I want to do and not what others want to do (isn't a holiday otherwise).

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 20/07/2018 16:30

Maybe look around and see if there are kennels you can pop him in for the day if u want to go out. But then go and colllect after u get back ?

Original poster

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 16:38

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 I wouldn’t put him in a kennel as he has never been put in any kennel type situation before and I think it would be quite distressing for him (appreciating people will say this is me over humanising but Knowing my dog, I genuinely don’t think he’d do well in kennels)

I might see if they have a dog walker etc locally just in case they do find something they’d want us to do which is completely not doggy friendly - good thinking

OP posts:

Evvvve · 20/07/2018 16:41

We have 2 dcs and a dog... Our dog is part of our family! We're going on holiday to France soon (with Dcs, inlaws and my DM) and our dog is coming, it wasn't an option that he wouldn't! Ditch the in laws 😂

NWQM · 20/07/2018 16:48

We love our dog to bits. He was here first before the kids. We don’t though tend to take him on all holidays. We were luckily enough to go on a cruise and found someone who home boards....has massive grounds and a doggy lake. He loves it. Trots in grinning. Feels like he has a better holiday then traipsing somewhere with us 😀. I have worried that he might be disappointed when we come back but luckily he seems pleased to see us.

JustLikeBefore · 20/07/2018 16:52

Our dog comes with us, unless going abroad then she stays with my mum and her dogs.

she loves going on holiday, and it's never restricted us, although we do do a few things, were we leave in the accommodation for a few hours. But she's use to being left alone at home too.

She's a rescue and was very stressed out in kennels, so I could never subject her to that again.

DC have grown up with her, and love taking her to new places, and playing on the beach and the sea together.

When I was growing up all 3 dogs came on holiday too.

Original poster

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 16:57

It’s definitely a dog person vs non dog person by sounds of it then x

OP posts:

chillpizza · 20/07/2018 17:02

We always use dog sitters. It’s ok if you want your holiday to just be a different place than home but it will restrict where you could eat out, shops to go in and even some beach’s. As well as the fact that if it’s too hot the dog can’t go out or they might burn their pads and that most accommodation won’t allow you to leave the dog there alone. Some people won’t see that as restrictive but I do and I have dogs I want a holiday and not to worry about can we go here or not.

BiteyShark · 20/07/2018 17:03

It’s definitely a dog person vs non dog person by sounds of it then

Absolutely. The key is to make sure you don't book another holiday with a non dog person.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/07/2018 17:20

Nobody else's business what you do with your dog when you go on holiday.

Just ignore them.

RandomMess · 20/07/2018 17:23

Your choice but our dog didn't settle well when on on holiday with us wasn't happy in her crate, was a bit neurotic etc.

Kennels all the way from now on!

bullyingadvice2017 · 20/07/2018 17:27

My kids see our dog like a sister. She is factored into our lives, if we go out for the day she needs walking and dropping of at grandads and picking up. Just like childcare.
If we go to a park it's a dog friendly one, if the playground is fenced in then only on the understanding that me and dog will be on nearby grass and you will have to fend for yourself, they learnt to peg up in a swing quick!

Gaspodethetalkingdog · 20/07/2018 17:27

Our dog is a very important person in our lives, take the dog with you and ignore the nasty people. Ditch the non-dog liking humans. Until we moved I took my horse on holiday with me.

MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 17:29

Dogs ARE a part of the family.

iloveredwine · 20/07/2018 17:29

Go to swanage. the whole place is dog friendly and are allowed in pubs shops and lots of holiday accommodation😉

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