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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To treat my dog like one of the family?

159 replies

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:09

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they've always been treated like part of the family.

We're planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he's a 'burden'. They've said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I've NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We've said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they'd like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn't be doing late nights anyway. They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

Just after other people's opinions...

Thanks

OP posts:
jellomello · 21/07/2018 07:55

I take my dog although I think MiL makes up stories about her, several wees on the floor that only MiL has seen (and hasn't stopped mentioning for years) despite us taking the dog countless places without accidents.

We've now stopped taking the MiL.

Achafi · 21/07/2018 08:01

Our dog was part of the wedding party. He had a bow tie. YANBU.

InDubiousBattle · 21/07/2018 08:03

If I was planning a holiday with someone who had a dog I think I would assume the dog was coming. That's why I would never do it. Dogs are very restrictive, they restrict the cafes, restaurants, beaches,events, concerts etc that you can go to so surely even the most ardent dog lover can understand why that is undesirable to some?

Have your IL so actually said that if you bring the dog they won't come?

OneStepSideways · 21/07/2018 08:14

Will you be able to leave dog in the apartment some days? I suspect your pils had hopes of family day trips to museums/National Trust places/beaches/zoos/farm parks etc. Rather than dog-friendly pubs, walks and dog-friendly beaches (that are usually less nice than the main beaches).

Madein1995 · 21/07/2018 08:21

pets are part of the family. I'd never leave mine on a kennel - our previous dog we left once, came back with sore throat, had barely eaten and his bed was soaked with wee. Kennels can't give dogs the attentionll they need. Mine is used to company all day so would be cruel to leave her. Take the dog and tell ils that's the end of it. They don't dictate what you do with your dog. They are part of the family. As for limiting.ds holiday - bugger that, most holiday places in UK are dog friendly anyway. When on holiday the dog mainly comes out everyday with us and loves it

CloudCaptain · 21/07/2018 08:23

They probably don't actually like your dog. It may be your furbaby, and I'm sure it's very cute and all, but not many people want to have dog slobber and fur all over them. They probably expected to take your dc to some activities and playbacks which aren't generally dog friendly.
However, a frank and honest chat with them, about what both of you want from the holiday and expected activities, would be more friendly than a big blow up and complaining on mn.

aryto · 21/07/2018 08:25

Tbh my dog gets treated better than anyone else in the family. He makes us all so happy, it's only right. We take him basically everywhere.

Madein1995 · 21/07/2018 08:26

we used to on the odd occasion leave our old dog with a fab pet minder - only o e locally we really trusted. She's older now and unable to cope with the livewire that is our current dog! We tried it once but dog spent most of the weekend in the cage as lady was getting older and a young dig was a challenge. Now, we don't. It's a shame but a necessity. But ours loves coming on holiday, she loves the car!

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:26

My dog never slobbers!

Just saying

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 21/07/2018 08:29

We go to Cornwall at some point every year and always take the dog. When we travel abroad she stays with friends who love her possibly as much as we do, and she's never been to kennels because she's sensitive (which is actually just a euphemism for massive spoiled brat who'd fret).

I never grew up with dogs as we always had cats, but now we have this idiot spaniel she's a part of our family.

Blackness78 · 21/07/2018 08:31

Anyone who says that the dog is part of the family is humanising their dog by the way. Dogs are pets.

Nope, I'm actually part of my dogs' family, not the other way around 🐕 🐕

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:33

anybody who doesn’t see their dog as part of the family shouldn’t really have a dog

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:34

And anyone who doesn’t understand their car rules the family is an idiot Grin

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:34

Cat obviously Wink

Peanutbuttercups21 · 21/07/2018 08:42

I get you OP

My dog is my soul mate Wink, I only go on holiday if she can come too OR if she can stay with friends who treat her like royalty (we look after eachothers' dogs in holidays, idea?!)

We would leave her alone for a couple of hours though, to go for dinner/NT or whatever, would you?

Passonthemessage · 21/07/2018 08:47

We take our mutt everywhere - hotels, restaurants, pubs, to relatives overnight. He is part of the family, we all completely adore him and for the most part our holidays are better with him...occasionally he restricts us but that's ok.

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:49

a massive spoilt brat who would fret

Wink our best has a cooked chicken thigh every day with her dried food and an egg. Has to be warmed and I have observed dh once feeding her this off a spoon!!! Grin

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 08:50

Best?? Brat!

Nearlyadad · 21/07/2018 08:56

Not to rub it in, but I never had dogs growing up, however since we got ours 3 years ago my parents have embraced dog grandparenthood. they look after him if we go away (and can’t take dog) and suggest/book family holidays that are dog friendly. Because, you know, he’s one of the family!

Ucantarguewistupid · 21/07/2018 08:57

I would hope that ifI had a son or daughter they would not marry someone who would be happy to leave a living, thinking, caring, loving,and capable of being scared and lonely, with no concept of time or why humans suddenly disappear animal behind.

Take your family member who really does love you and your family and leave the in laws. They dont need to like your dog they just need to respecr you and have compassion for other animals

diddl · 21/07/2018 09:03

"They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog."

I think that they are just trying to guilt you into not taking the dog or worried that they will be restrited somehow.

As you say, they can do whatever they want.

You're not intending to be together all day & evenings are you?

Snowysky20009 · 21/07/2018 09:15

Me and exdp, along with the kids always took UK holidays with lodges etc that could accommodate the dogs. We didn't go abroad until they both died. We wouldn't dream of putting them in a kennels, but each to their own I guess.

Strugglingtodomybest · 21/07/2018 09:33

They are trying to emotionally manipulate you into doing what they want and for that reason alone I would take the dog.

rosamundhopelovesdogs123 · 21/07/2018 09:41

I'm with the posters who say dump the inflexible in laws and have a lovely holiday with your dog.

If you do take him they may be snide as judgey about having him in the house etc.

Hope you have a good holiday and keep us posted!

Eliza9917 · 21/07/2018 09:53

They are being unreasonable. Dogs are part of the family in our house.

Until this year we only went on caravan holidays in the UK so we could take them with us.

My dog wouldn't have got on well in kennels at all so I never put her in them and dp's dog always went everywhere with him. He would have been fine in kennels though, but dp wouldn't have done it.

We've lost both those dogs now though and we got another just after Christmas before my dog passed. We did put her (new dog) in kennels when we went to Spain at Easter as we got her from a kennels and she went back to the same one with the man that had her first (it's also a rescue place).

When we go next we're going to drive so we can take her with us though.

She won't be going back in kennels again. We have her, she's part of our family and therefore we have to make choices about what we do and where we go that take account of the fact that we have a dog.

You don't send kids off to a boarding home so you can go away do you?

If we go to Vegas to get married she'll stay with family.

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