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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To treat my dog like one of the family?

159 replies

Everydayimsnugglin · 20/07/2018 15:09

My husband and I have a 2 year old son and a 3 year old dog. Growing up with dogs, they've always been treated like part of the family.

We're planning on a summer holiday to Southend and I was looking for dog friendly accommodations. My in laws (not dog people) feel that taking our dog on holiday with us is ridiculous and think he's a 'burden'. They've said today that he should be put in boarding kennels. I've NEVER used kennels and I feel that given my dog has always had company at home, it would be cruel to leave him in kennels. My husband and I have used at-home boarding when we got married. As my in laws are coming on holiday too so they do have a say.

Hubby and I are on the same page. We've said Were more than happy that they go off in the evening for dinners/ drinks etc if they'd like and leave us in as well have our son so wouldn't be doing late nights anyway. They've said it's unfair on our child that we're restricting his holiday enjoyment by bringing the dog.

Just after other people's opinions...

Thanks

OP posts:
TheWernethWife · 20/07/2018 19:28

We went away to Northumberland and had dinner on a couple of nights in the Craster Arms in Beadnell, very dog friendly, we have cats so it was nice to be in doggy company for a change.

auditqueen · 20/07/2018 20:03

The three creatures I love most in this world are my Dad, my partner and my dog.
My dog brings so much joy and unconditional love to the lives of my partner and I that actually we like to spend time with her, my dad too. So when we go away we like to take her with us because she is part of our family and we like to watch her get excited at new places and grin as she explores new scents and beaches.
It's not hard these days to find dog friendly accommodation and pubs. If we'd been able to have children we would have adapted our lives and our holidays to be child friendly. This is just the same really.

DBoo · 20/07/2018 20:08

We are exactly the same with out three year old dog. He comes on holiday with us,out for tea, to the pub. Basically if he can come he does.

We would never kennel him. He is a complete lapdog and would hate him.

We have left him twice for overnight trips with family but he misses us so havent done that for a very long time. Tbh it is lovely being away without him and i wish we could do it more often.

My dps dont understand but the in laws are dog people so completely get it.

fleshmarketclose · 20/07/2018 20:11

We took our dog on holiday to Scotland a couple of weeks ado and didn't find one place that wouldn't allow him in. Take him you will be less restricted than your PILs imagine.

Nomorechickens · 20/07/2018 20:23

If you don't take your dog, maybe ask your ILs to pay for a dog friendly house sitter for you. Our local agency charges £40 a night. It might focus their minds on whether taking the dog is perhaps not so bad after all

Blogwoman · 20/07/2018 20:23

This isn’t especially helpful but I have a friend whose childhood holidays involved their dog AND cat with them! Amazed that the cat would wander onto the beach etc but never got lost. Brilliant! Enjoy your holiday with dog I’d say!

Topseyt · 20/07/2018 20:39

Of course they are family. Pets of any sort are family.

We have taken our dogs on many UK holidays and never had any issues. They do like our local kennels too though and know the owner well, so that is fine on the odd occasion we have been abroad.

I can't say I really like putting them in kennels, but there has been the odd occasion when I have had to, like DD1's graduation last summer when they certainly couldn't have come with us.

So, if we are going on a UK holiday the dogs come with us. We make it work.

If we go abroad they don't come, but they like the kennel owner and are always excited to see him, so whilst I don't like putting them in kennels, it isn't as bad as it could be.

NutElla5x · 20/07/2018 20:41

If I were you I'd bring the dog and leave the inlaws at home.What they think is totally irrelevant and all that matters is that you and your hubby are in agreement.I don't see how having a dog with you will have much, if any impact on a 2 year olds holiday anyway-[they're just guilt tripping you because they're don't like dogs by the sound of it]-but leaving it in kennels may well do, as it will probably make you feel guilty and worried.

TattyTshirt · 20/07/2018 20:50

Take the dog. He is more faithful than your in laws.

I got a dog on the condition my family would be happy to include her in our holiday plans. Poppy is very much part of our family and a huge part of my life. I couldn't leave my best friend behind and holiday without her. There is no way I would leave my best friend in a kennel whilst I went abroad. Just no!

LoniceraJaponica · 20/07/2018 23:49

“I think this is one of those things that dog-lovers get and that other people think is ridiculous.”

I agree. As I said in a previous post we used to take our dog camping with us, but, obviously, not abroad (you couldn’t in the 1960s and 1970s). I like dogs, but don’t love them the way dog owners love their dogs, and they can restrict what you do on holiday – eating out, places to visit, beaches etc. My sister had to cut a camping holiday short because it rained all the time. How do you dry a wet dog in a tent? And loads of indoor activities didn’t accept dogs, so they went home.

Why are you planning a holiday with your in laws anyway? You clearly want different things from a holiday. Can’t you holiday separately? I think BiteyShark puts it very well.

This thread has a lot of “love me love my dog people” who just don’t get that not everyone loves dogs Hmm

“YABU for going on hols with ILS who don't sound very nice.”

Just because they don’t like dogs? Hmm

Blogwoman we used to take the dog and cat with us. We even went to Ireland with them.

dudsville · 20/07/2018 23:56

Don't worry about your choice to bring your dog, and yes we do the same. Ask ils of it bothers them such they they won't enjoy the holiday. And ask yourselves whether you want to go on holiday with people who don't want a part of your family there.

SarcasticFringehead · 21/07/2018 00:02

Your in-laws are part of the family. Your dog is a dog.
I'd value the grandparents over the dog and completely agree with them.

SarcasticFringehead · 21/07/2018 00:04

For the love me love my dog brigade, no, no I won't.
This guy explains very well why: www.youtube.com/channel/UCLniPzAs-LwRsBUEUdyp_6Q/videos

BiteyShark · 21/07/2018 06:24

Your in-laws are part of the family. Your dog is a dog.

Whilst you may value your ILs as close family maybe OP sees their dog as immediate family and ILs as extended. After all a dog is a loving companion every day, not just when it suits or at holidays. Equally for you a dog is 'just a dog' and I presume you don't have pets or just view them as secondary but not everyone does so you can't push your family values onto others which is what the ILs are doing as well.

Ultimately it's down to the individual family to decide who and what is important to them.

adaline · 21/07/2018 06:49

Your in-laws are part of the family. Your dog is a dog.

But you don't have to like your family or change your holiday plans to suit them!

We have a dog and he goes everywhere with us. We live in the Lake District and it's doggy heaven for him - he's even coming to Scotland for our honeymoon (dog-friendly cottage!) with us. If other people don't like it, that's fine, they don't have to come with us!

He's our dog and yes, he is part of our life and our family. I love taking him to new places where he can explore and make new friends!

CrazyDogLady87 · 21/07/2018 06:53

If you are paying for your own accommodation what business unit of theirs whether you bring your dog or not, I'm if your larger apartment is going to be used for socialising and you've chosen to bring your dog they don't have to come in they can go off and do their own thing, they don't need to be in your pocket just because you are holidaying together surely an evening or two just your family would be nice, I'm going away with my mother in law next month and although she has paid for us we will not be spending every waking moment in each other's pockets.

I understand about the kennels I was so wary of kennling my 4 for the first time as had never been before, but they were ok Not very impressed the first time, but have since been 3 more times and when they see the man they run like mad towards him (traitors) I'm very lucky with my kennel man. He takes it in turn to take one of mine with him in the truck for his errands and when he knows mine are coming in enough in advance he even reduces his kennel availability so he can spend more time with mine (at no extra cost because he loves them, and they get on well with his own) was my reputable kennels will allow you to visit and inspect kennels provide you with references

A little off post here sorry. those of you not keen on boarding kennels look for people who take dogs into their own, , home for the holiday (If taking dog with you isn't option) basically they go and stay with doggie people who bring them into their family for the stay

Whenever we go away abroad the dogs are at kennels but any short /long weekend UK/Ireland trips the dogs come along they are after all family. It's now in the pipeline to save for a camper and doggies passports to be able to drive to Europe and they can come with as I hate flying.

Your in-laws clearly aren't dog people and I do not see why the your very young child's holiday (who goes to bed early) would be affected if you took the dog along. If anything I would say it would be affected I'd you didn't. Bring the dog yanbu

Shampooeeee · 21/07/2018 07:11

YANBU.
I would much rather holiday with my dog than my in laws!

Whyiseveryonesoangry · 21/07/2018 07:33

We plan our holidays around the dog, dog friendly cottage with secure garden, plenty of local walks etc. Been married for 25 years and have never put a dog in kennels.
I do agree that it’s restricting though. You have to eat outside (most of the time) can’t take them to look around stately homes, things like that. But as you said, if your in-laws want to do that, then they can go off on their own a couple of times during the holiday.

Seasawride · 21/07/2018 07:37

We plan holidays with our dog too.

She’s only 3 and is very much a part of our family. We left her in a kennels once never again are howled al the way home and clung to me Sad

Tell your inlaws the dog is going. Suck it up

bengalcat · 21/07/2018 07:39

We always take our dog on holiday unless abroad then she goes to a dog sitter who has her in their house . Cat sitter comes in to do the cats .

thricethebrindledcat · 21/07/2018 07:41

Let this be the first and last time you plan a holiday with ILs, your ideas are incompatible with theirs.

Btw, we used to go to a place called Knoll House near Swanage, it was great for families, I think it's still there.

Unicornandbows · 21/07/2018 07:45

My dog is my son.. Ditch anyone who doesn't respect the little cute doggy as family lol

My dog is the ring bearer in August wouldn't be special day without my furrball ripping my dress up Wink

NutElla5x · 21/07/2018 07:47

Your in-laws are part of the family. Your dog is a dog.
Your in-laws are only part of your family by default.Your dog was chosen to be part of your family.You are all your dog has,and what he/she basically lives for.If your dog is used to having you around at all times, plonking it in the kennels,when you really don't need to,is cruel in my opinion.That dog,as far as he's concerned is being abandoned,he doesn't know you're coming back for him/her.Your in-laws,like most non dog lovers are selfish,your dog is giving and loyal and deserves a holiday too Grin

RedDwarves · 21/07/2018 07:51

My dogs come with us on holidays, when possible. We were just discussing today how we were going to get their slide-in-slide-out dog door in the car when we take them away in December.

My dogs are one of the greatest loves of my life. Their wellbeing is as much of a priority to me as the wellbeing of my immediate family members.

BigPinkBall · 21/07/2018 07:52

Just for a bit of perspective I’m not a dog person and I specifically book campsites that are No Dog Campsites.

I think your PIL are batshit crazy, if you’ve got a dog and you’re holidaying in the UK then of course you’d take your dog, why would you have a dog if you didn’t want to treat them as one of the family and why would you pay for kennels (which I’m sure aren’t cheap!) if you don’t have to.

Just tell them that they don’t HAVE to go with you if they don’t want to.

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