To issue baby name ultimatum?

[MarlowsGhost]

No idea if IABU or not to contemplate doing this, so looking to get some thoughts.

DH and I are shortly expecting our first child, a boy. I have a boys name I have absolutely loved for years, my absolute favourite by a country mile. No other name comes close, I’ve frantically searched baby name books and the names board on MN but I just don’t love any name like this one.

DH hates it. He can’t give any real reason, he just doesn’t like the name.

He has recently suggested using a family name as DS’s middle name, as it’s a family tradition. I’m not keen on this name at all. WIBU to say that we can use this family middle name, on the provision that we use the first name I love? I don’t want to pull the “I’ll be the one pushing him out” card but I feel if he wants this family middle name, I should get final say on the first name.

You know the rules: what’s the name?

Sounds fair. You choose first name and he chooses middle.

You can't give the child a name one parent hates. Sorry

I don’t want to say as it’s potentially outing, as all of my friends know how much I love this name and several read MN!

If he hates the name then no dont do that. There are a bajillion boys names out there. Pick one you both agree on.

You can't give your baby a name that one parent hates. What is the name?

Wait till he’s seen you give birth. He’ll let you call the baby Jericho-Aloysius if you fancy it.

I'd say yes you can. If he chooses the middle name, you get to choose the first. At least both of you are having an input.
I know how you feel -It's so hard to choose a name when you've got your heart set on one.

Can't judge without knowing the name.

I’d struggle with this... there are literally no boys names I like (apart from the two I’ve used!) DS2 didn’t have a name for a while as we couldn’t decide. DC3 is on the way, no idea what we’ll do if it’s another boy 😬

That's not really an ultimatum though is it? It's more a compromise.

Also you may have to throw in 'you get final say on the first name of the next one' which is fair but dicey.

I think you should call the baby Ultimatum.

Ok, I have NC for this so I don’t suppose it matters if it’s outing...it’s Evan.

hassled

Errm no, if he really hates it why on earth would you want to call your child it?

Doesn’t sound at all fair. I’d hate to have names for my children which I hated using. And as it’s the first name people will use, its notveeally much of a compromise for you and a massive one for him.

Does he agree to this suggestion?

Evan is a lovely name.

No, you should both like your child's name. Just because you will give birth not him doesn't give you any extra rights. Both parents are equal parents.

Fair enough to say no to the traditional middle name too if you don't like it.

I second previous poster... both times I was compromising with my DC’s names and as soon as labour was over and DP was nice and traumatised I was allowed any name I wanted

Have you suggested to dh that you go with Evan and let him use the family middle name? He might be quite happy with that.

Totally misread that as Evian and wondered why you wouldn't choose Volvic.

oyster I haven’t pitched the suggestion yet, I wanted to get some thoughts first.

I could understand if the name was really wacky or out there, but I think it’s a perfectly sensible, nice name?

Evan?? Nooo!! Don’t call your child Evan. It’s so meh! I’m with your DH

Evan is a lovely name, so ultimatum away!