To issue baby name ultimatum?

[MarlowsGhost]

No idea if IABU or not to contemplate doing this, so looking to get some thoughts.

DH and I are shortly expecting our first child, a boy. I have a boys name I have absolutely loved for years, my absolute favourite by a country mile. No other name comes close, I’ve frantically searched baby name books and the names board on MN but I just don’t love any name like this one.

DH hates it. He can’t give any real reason, he just doesn’t like the name.

He has recently suggested using a family name as DS’s middle name, as it’s a family tradition. I’m not keen on this name at all. WIBU to say that we can use this family middle name, on the provision that we use the first name I love? I don’t want to pull the “I’ll be the one pushing him out” card but I feel if he wants this family middle name, I should get final say on the first name.

Is he getting your husband’s surname? If so, he has effectively chosen the middle and surname. So don’t see why you shouldn’t get to choose the first name!

Your main privilege here is not your money, it's that you're not a mother. It's like men who have a vague idea of sexism but miss 90% of it.

It's not just financial. For example, most of my post which you have misinterpreted (very badly), would probably make sense to you if you had children.

Even xenia will admit that she was left with holding the baby and I bet you haven't got your own island.. It's not about money, mostly, but good luck to you anyway.

I don't think you can insist on the first name you want. He is a parent too and shouldn't have to give his child a name he dislikes.

Agree with vulva

Ha how often do you get to say that in your normal day?

If one parent catagorically can’t stand a certain name then in any sane, normal and compromising relationship that name is not an option.

"Is he getting your husband’s surname? If so, he has effectively chosen the middle and surname. "

How has he chosen the surname?

Either Op has it too & it is their family name or she doesn't but has agreed that her child will-so has chosen it also.

I had the exact same problem. We had two names A and B. I LOVED A, hubby said no so we settled for B. Hubby saw all I went through with labour and changed his mind to A. He says now it's because he just felt so sorry for me he thought the least he could do was give me the name! The time to ask is just after you've done all the hard work

I like Evan but I really like Ivan.

(I love the name Evan btw)

Evan is great but there are so many Evas, Eves, Evelyn and Avas around at the moment. I know it doesn't sound like them but it looks similar.
Why not swap the names around and have Evan as a middle name.
Evan is a form of John, so don't use John as a middle name, but there are lots of other forms of John that are just as nice IMO.
Ewan, Euan, etc.

My boy is called Evan and he’s lovely! Ignore all the people dissing the name, they probably have dull Thomases or Williams or something. Evan is a classic, solid name but not too common (round here, anyway!). But... if your husband really hates it, maybe consider another? My lovely Ev (or Ev-Dog, or Ev-elociraptor, orThe Evanator ) was going to be an Aiden, until he was born and obviously wasn’t one!

Congratulations on your baby boy anyway!

But it's subjective, isn't it? I hate the name Evan and would not have agreed with it for my son! I think if one parent really hates it (as I do Evan!) you can't really use it. Go for a compromise. ps my son has a very unusual name, but we both loved it!

If your husband hates it then call the boy something else.

OP just for balance I had a thread about the name Evan and DH not liking it this time last year. It was pretty unanimous that it was an awesome name so I have no idea where all those posters are now 🤣 I’m surprised it’s getting slated as I think it sounds quite strong and we’re not in Wales so it’s not meh or everyday. But yes, good for toddler and man. Pronounced as it’s spelt. Needless to say I now have an 8 month old Baby Evan 😄 he’s gorgeous. But after this thread I’m now wondering if I know the PP who cringes every time her friend mentions her son Evan 😄 oh well, she clearly has no taste 😛 I just kept mentioning the name and DH came round to it, although I did have some leverage as he had suggested DS1s name.