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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To issue baby name ultimatum?

214 replies

MarlowsGhost · 14/07/2018 22:16

No idea if IABU or not to contemplate doing this, so looking to get some thoughts.

DH and I are shortly expecting our first child, a boy. I have a boys name I have absolutely loved for years, my absolute favourite by a country mile. No other name comes close, I’ve frantically searched baby name books and the names board on MN but I just don’t love any name like this one.

DH hates it. He can’t give any real reason, he just doesn’t like the name.

He has recently suggested using a family name as DS’s middle name, as it’s a family tradition. I’m not keen on this name at all. WIBU to say that we can use this family middle name, on the provision that we use the first name I love? I don’t want to pull the “I’ll be the one pushing him out” card but I feel if he wants this family middle name, I should get final say on the first name.

OP posts:
AornisHades · 14/07/2018 22:44

Spoons Evan is a Welsh version of John.

buttercup54321 · 14/07/2018 22:44

I like John. Why cant it go with Evan?

Ginger1982 · 14/07/2018 22:44

Tenthousandspoons because it sounds like Evian if you say it quickly (I think!)

Ginger1982 · 14/07/2018 22:45

The Welsh thing would never have occurred to me actually! 🤔

TatianaLarina · 14/07/2018 22:47

You can’t ask someone to name their child something they hate.

I’m with him tbh it’s a bloody awful name.

LastOneDancing · 14/07/2018 22:48

Well I don't know about Evan, but Betty has just taught me a new word.

I shall be using 'bathos' at the first opportunity.

oracle2811 · 14/07/2018 22:49

My dad is called Evan but he is Welsh and all the men on his side have strong Welsh names. My nephew is called Owen Evan, which I like, but my dad is 78 and personally do not like the name. But hey compromise is key! Congratulations on your baby xx

deenagh · 14/07/2018 22:49

Letting him choose the middle name isn't really the same and doesn't make it "fair" for him to have to accept a first name he doesn't like. How often are middle names used? They really aren't hugely important.

Frogscotch7 · 14/07/2018 22:51

Ooh is the middle name Kevin? If you’re surname is Devon then definitely go for it.

OwlBeThere · 14/07/2018 22:51

i really like the name Evan, its my sons middle name after a family member as it happens, but you still can't give your child a name that his dad actively hates. you just can't. If he was a bit indifferent then i'd say you have a case to argue, but if he hates it, then he does.

shakeyourcaboose · 14/07/2018 22:52

@tenthousandspoons Evan dando what a blast from the past!!

Original poster
MarlowsGhost · 14/07/2018 22:53

Evan Kevin Devon Grin

OP posts:
Justtheonequestion · 14/07/2018 22:55

Alun?

TenThousandSpoons · 14/07/2018 22:56

Yes lovely Evan Dando! Had a lol at Evian John. Did you mean Elton John @Ginger1982 ?

BewareOfDragons · 14/07/2018 22:56

All the Evans I know have been lovely.

InfiniteVariety · 14/07/2018 22:58

You can't expect your DH to call his son by a name he actually hates! You really are going to have to compromise and find something you both like.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 14/07/2018 22:58

Not fair.
I don't agree that women get to choose because they've given birth. It's the child's name that the child has to live with long after the stitches have heal
Evan is a pretty bland name. Totally not worth falling out over. See if the baby looks like an Evan or a Bevian or a Keith//Derick/Cyril when it arrives and decide afterwards.

OwlBeThere · 14/07/2018 22:59

ahhhh Evan Dando. beautiful man. singlehandedly responsible for me wandering around half blind as a teen because he said in an interview that he needed glasses ut didn't get them becausehe 'liked the fuzzy view of the world'. which is all well and good, but i was so blind i couldn't see my own face....

goingtotown · 14/07/2018 22:59

It’ll be shortened to Ev.

OwlBeThere · 14/07/2018 23:02

goingtotown i know at least 5 and none of them are called Ev. one is known as Evs to his mum and thats about it.

GrouchyKiwi · 14/07/2018 23:04

I think you need to work on another name.

We had trouble with our third daughter and ended up writing a list each with all the names we like. I had about 30, DH had maybe 10, and only two were on both of our lists. One didn't work with our surname so we chose the other.

Could you try something similar?

Also: don't use the ugly family name either.

ExecutiveDiamondBossBabeHun · 14/07/2018 23:04

I've met one Evan and words fail me as to the horror that was this Evan. Therefore I have to say YABU Grin

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 23:06

He has recently suggested using a family name as DS’s middle name, as it’s a family tradition. I’m not keen on this name at all. WIBU to say that we can use this family middle name, on the provision that we use the first name I love? I don’t want to pull the “I’ll be the one pushing him out” card but I feel if he wants this family middle name, I should get final say on the first name

Agree with PP that it isn't an ultimatum it's a compromise and YANBU to do this. I used a name DH hated for our son as we couldn't come to an agreement and yes, I pushed all 10 pounds out of me. So I win.

Truthfully he loves his name now because it suits him so much.

chicola · 14/07/2018 23:06

Evan Above

FriendOfScarecrow · 14/07/2018 23:07

Not fair. I don't agree that women get to choose because they've given birth. It's the child's name that the child has to live with long after the stitches have heal

Yeah, but it's not the fetus arguing about names, and last I checked no child chooses their own name.

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