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Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!? Continued

208 replies

Biscusting · 11/06/2018 13:28

Lost the other thread, can’t believe it filled up so fast.
CF ex friend has sent further message to say how sad she is about the loss of our long standing friendship, all she can do is try her best under difficult circumstances...

Thank you everyone for helping me form measured responses.

Now is it possible to block someone from sending messages or calling?

OP posts:
Failingat40 · 12/06/2018 16:34

@ParentInCharge I know, and I understand that. Sometimes though I think it's nicer to be the better person.

CF posted on her on FB page, which was set to friends only. I'm guessing she didn't count on it ending up all over the media.

I just think it's all got a bit out of hand.

HarryDaylight · 12/06/2018 16:57

I agree with Failingat40. Hopefully the OP will have the threads removed.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 16:58

I don't think op intended her post to be picked up and it to be in the media. Now she should delete and block CF and have nothing more to do with her.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 16:59

Really having the threads removed won't achieve much, its like closing the gate door after the horse has bolted.

RoseWhiteTips · 12/06/2018 17:02

If this woman had not posted her ludicrous “review” on Facebook, she would not now be featuring in the media. Capiche?

RoseWhiteTips · 12/06/2018 17:03

She does not deserve apologists.

AbsolutelyBeginning · 12/06/2018 17:10

Ah well, that's the July fixture scratched anyway Grin

lalajia · 12/06/2018 17:13

I'm sorry, but I can't agree with Failingat40.

I kind of wish Biscusting would tag the CF in one of the many FB posts that have sprung up about her, so she can hopefully have her eyes opened to how horrendously of out touch her POV is, but I think the OP is way too nice to do that!

senua · 12/06/2018 17:13

CF posted on her on FB page, which was set to friends only. I'm guessing she didn't count on it ending up all over the media.

There isn't much privacy on FB. Any of the friends could have shared it and sent it viral. The first thing I drummed home to the DC when they got text phones, years ago in the early noughties, was BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PUT IT IN WRITING. It's a basic rule.

It's already been on TV, radio and the Daily Mail so it's a bit late to take these threads down now.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 17:16

Settings are useless, anyone could have shared it and made it viral, it takes a matter of seconds. The 'friend' learned her lesson the hard way.

MipMipMip · 12/06/2018 17:25

I'm actually considering watching LW as a result of this thread. This is serious!

gamerchick · 12/06/2018 17:39

I'm actually considering watching LW as a result of this thread. This is serious!

What is? Shit gets pulled and discussed from here all the time.

Silver1022 · 12/06/2018 17:44

Just tell her to fuck right off. Either that or give her invoice for staying.
She is a user and just using you for free accommodation

Greyponcho · 12/06/2018 17:49

OP, she might not ‘thank’ you now, but calling her out on her CF behaviour a la Loveintokyos post will do her —friends— favours in the long run

WorriedWanda · 12/06/2018 17:54

WTAF? She wants to stay with you again? She's out of her mind. Block her and never speak to her again.

peasooper · 12/06/2018 17:59

I agree that the friend has been very unkind but wanted to say that it could be that her MH is a significant factor here, since a diagnosis of Depression and Anxiety can cover a wide range of symptoms and behaviours including anger/rage, paranoia, losing touch with reality, inappropriate behaviour, and more complex/ serious conditions can take more time to diagnose, if the NHS even actually bother to do that.

Sometimes people do become real shits whilst they are really mentally unwell and it sucks to be around them, but it is an excuse because some people just aren't in their right mind.

It is pretty shit for all involved.

Strokethefurrywall · 12/06/2018 18:12

Meh - I for one am pretty glad that someone who has behaved like a shit bag is going to get pulled up in public about it.

Don't want to have your appalling behavior splashed all over mumsnet (and by obvious extension, Daily Fail)?? Then don't act like a cunt. It's not fucking hard...

ktp100 · 12/06/2018 18:16

Whilst I can understand why you would tread carefully in your responses to her, I do think she needs an enormous wake up call. Not only is she a CF of the highest order for what she did but she stepped it up a level with blaming her poor behaviour on her MH issues. With that she has caused offense to many people, not just you and your hubby. It's hard enough getting people to understand MH issues without prize twunts like her using it to excuse her shitty behaviour like a 4 year old. I hope she sees this thread and the LW & DM stories and that she uses it as a learning experience and grows the feck up.

Sickofpeople · 12/06/2018 18:17

I have just finished reading the old post so haven't read all this one and as someone with anxiety and depression with OCD and probably Aspergers too with a therapist I would never write anything like this!

Twinkle7 · 12/06/2018 18:19

I would message her one final time and tell her to fuck of to fuckety fuckville as that's where she's welcome in July. She's using mh as an excuse for shitty behaviour. No decency to say ' im sorry that I fucked up'. Oh andctell her fucketyville is 2 stars. She'll be right at home

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 12/06/2018 18:51

I've no reason to disbelieve that she has MH issues, possibly quite crippling ones. But doesn't that make what she's done even worse in light of all that posting about 'hidden MH problems' and not knowing who is suffering? The OP or her DH could easily have hidden anxiety or depression, or any number of other issues that could have been triggered by someone being so gratuitously critical of their kind hospitality.

The guest is not the only person in the whole world to have problems, so why is she assuming that she is the only one who needs consideration and tolerance.

FROhecan · 12/06/2018 19:24

Have heard about a strange new approach to resolving issues such as this. Apparently it's called talking...

CF friend could have tried that.

FiestaThenSiesta · 12/06/2018 19:29

I disagree with Failing. The friend posted a review of OP identifying her to all of their mutual friends. OP posted on an anonymous forum and the anonymous story gets picked up by media and becomes urban legend-y. No one is identitied.

The OP was humiliated in front of many friends and all of the other woman’s contacts.

The other woman has not been humiliated because no one knows it’s her!

Skywest · 12/06/2018 21:03

I hope I haven't missed the point if the threads. Which I have read by the way, my sister has serious MH issues. She is also a bitch. These two things are not connected. My Mum once said to me 'but if she were in a wheelchair you wouldn't react like that.' My response 'If she were in a wheelchair she would still be a bitch' No excuse to use MH issues to be a nasty person.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 12/06/2018 21:54

Oh, the irony of the CF friend hoping that her insane review ‘did not affect your friendship’ after she literally UNFRIENDED you.

And her being crushed you can’t separate her as a person from her illness when you’re doing precisely that, along the lines of ‘I understand you have mental issues and wish you well, while I see that as a person, regardless of your MH issues, you are a complete arsehole so our friendship is over.’

But basically, at this point, it’s utterly irrelevant if she’s nasty, rude, with bad sense of humour or mentally ill. Your home is your home and it is entirely your (and dh’s) decision as to whether you want to have guests over the weekend or not. You said no stayover in July, so it’s certainly not a friend’s friend’s business to try to intervene and make you feel guilty.

But if she does turn up in July, please let us know.