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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!? Continued

208 replies

Biscusting · 11/06/2018 13:28

Lost the other thread, can’t believe it filled up so fast.
CF ex friend has sent further message to say how sad she is about the loss of our long standing friendship, all she can do is try her best under difficult circumstances...

Thank you everyone for helping me form measured responses.

Now is it possible to block someone from sending messages or calling?

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 12/06/2018 10:07

godcomplexzilla
Love it!

crispysausagerolls · 12/06/2018 10:10

Mummyoflittledragon

Just so you know, I always think you give good advice!

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 12/06/2018 10:20

How long since you left uni OP?

I’m intrigued that you say you’d only kept in touch loosely because your life paths and experiences are so different and yet now she’s all daily mail sad face because she apparently thought you were ‘good friends’

I wonder how much she knows about you since uni, except that you live in a popular tourist area Hmm

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/06/2018 10:32

I was wondering the same Enrique! It's a bit much for her to talk of OP destroying a good friendship.

Keeping in touch "loosely" just means the odd email or receiving a Christmas card and wondering "who are Sue and John? Oh yes I went to uni with Sue". Grin

She sounds shockingly self absorbed- one of those people that always plays the victim. She's "crushed" by your comments? Confused

Spending hours on Social Media has warped her mind. It's not healthy to receive likes and attention for posting self pitying memes and navel gazing posts all the time. It creates a very skewed perspective of the world and an inflated sense of self importance.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/06/2018 10:45

Gosh I wasn’t expecting responses to my post. Thank you crispysausage. I’m going to put this thread in my watch list to come back to when I’m feeling down. Smile. Sorry to derail Biscuit.

bonnyshide · 12/06/2018 10:47

ex friend has sent further message to say how sad she is about the loss of our long standing friendship

^ I think it's safe to assume ex friend knows she's not welcome to stay over again.

Just block her in everything and move on.

TemptressofWaikiki · 12/06/2018 10:57

Some posters seem worried that TwoStarzilla might still rock up in July. So, what? If she is this spectacularly cheeky then, you just don’t open the door. OP made it very obvious regarding her invitation being rescinded and does not need to engage with this self-centred cuntywanker anymore.

Failingat40 · 12/06/2018 11:28

I'm just playing devils advocate here, I absolutely think this Uni friend is 100% in the wrong BUT...

If she is indeed suffering from some psychological condition and is under mental health treatment, how do you think all this publicly will affect her?

If LW have covered it today on their tv show them it's likely going to be picked up by the Fail and others too.

Does the punishment of public humiliation for writing something she thought was therapeutic for her whilst mentally ill really deserve her to be attacked by the public?

The potential repercussions from all this on someone who is mentally unstable are not something I'd want on my conscience.

Op I'd consider her no longer a friend and disengage but really, I'd get these threads removed now.

senua · 12/06/2018 12:52

The potential repercussions from all this on someone who is mentally unstable are not something I'd want on my conscience.

The OP was peaceably minding her own business when CF (a) invited herself and then (b) posted an unkind 'review'. CF started this, not OP; it is CF who should have trouble with their conscience. You are victim-blaming.

Besides CF is currently having therapy. She can discuss it with the therapist.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/06/2018 12:58

It's a shame that although she regards you as a good friend, none of her mental issues were brought up during her weekend long stay? I find that a bit odd. I would tell a good friend if I had been diagnosed with depression, was struggling and getting therapy. Maybe not banging on about it, but I think I'd mention it.
It must be a big part of her life at the moment yet it wasn't even hinted at when she stayed.

You must be wondering if you knew her at all after all this?

Flexoset · 12/06/2018 13:03

I don't think she needs a Zilla suffix.

I just think of her as TwoStars.

Although that's still a higher rating than I'd give her as a person.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 13:07

Very odd that once she has been caught out, she suddenly has mental health issues. Surely if op was such a good friend, the CF friend would have told her during the weekend, or op would be able to pick up on it. I am glad that she has been caught out, and it has hit her right back in the face. Her behaviour is awful, I am sure her friends will not be hosting her anytime soon. There are some people that just take the piss.

Hereitisnow · 12/06/2018 13:09

Hello. 😊 I've been following lots of threads here for a long time, including this one and the original. Anyway, it was only a matter of time - here it is now, up on the DM: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5834167/House-guest-posts-TripAdvisor-style-review-FRIENDs-home-online.html

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/06/2018 13:14

Oh dear.

Skybluepinkwithyellowspots · 12/06/2018 13:28

It was discussed on our local radio station this morning!

Seems you're everywhere OP Smile

pigmcpigface · 12/06/2018 13:39

For the last fucking time, having anxiety does NOT make you suddenly change your character to become an obnoxious twat who posts a review of a friend's home on the internet! Nor does it suddenly make you racist, sexist or whatever.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/06/2018 13:43

TwoStarZilla Grin

iwishicouldbelikedavidwatts · 12/06/2018 13:53

if the cf didn't have serious mental health issues before i imagine she will have now :(

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 12/06/2018 13:56
Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 14:00

Yes Lois she is responsible for that. All op did was put a thread in AIBU like a lot of people do. Bet she will not do that again.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 14:01

She should have kept her Tripadvisor review on Facebook to herself, instead of humiliating ops hospitality. Its come round badly to her.

SurfingGiantess · 12/06/2018 14:32

I'm sorry but people who have mental health issues... myself included... don't get a free pass on being an asshole.
To be honest it sounds like an excuse to me. She didn't mean for you to see her post. She was shocked you did. Unfriended you quickly. Then took some time to think on how to make this sound like it was ok and gave you the excuse.
Depression doesn't make people assholes .

I'd let her know there will be no further contact. And you will be better off. She's causing drama. Nothing more.
I have friends with mental health issues and they're not rude. It's a horrible mean excuse in my opinion and makes it seem that it's ok once you have mental health issues.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/06/2018 14:55

Sorry my post 14.00 was aimed at iwishicould, not lois. She is responsible for her actions, surely she can't be so self absorbed that a horrid review on Facebook for all to see, won't affect op. She only thought about herself when she put that review up, next time she will hopefully engage her brain, lesson learned.

Failingat40 · 12/06/2018 16:21

*@senua
*
*The OP was peaceably minding her own business when CF (a) invited herself and then (b) posted an unkind 'review'. CF started this, not OP; it is CF who should have trouble with their conscience. You are victim-blaming.

Besides CF is currently having therapy. She can discuss it with the therapist.*

The problem is the CF is now the 'victim' and as much as she's brought it on herself, this is now the OPs doing in catapulting it all into gutter press.

I really think op should do the right thing and accept her apology and remove these posts.

People make mistakes, the implications of this can end up being massive for CF.

ParentInCharge · 12/06/2018 16:29

@Failingat40 the CF put it on social media. She was well aware that, like so many things these days, it could become viral. That's what happens when you post things online.
Her actions have caused this so she has no right to be upset by it. It is not the OP's responsibility to hide it back away.